Kurtenbach: Klay Thompson is back in the Bay. The Warriors should make that permanent

The Warriors are irrelevant.

Look around the Western Conference. The Oklahoma City Thunder aren’t just coming; they are already the landlords. The Houston Rockets are terrifying. The Denver Nuggets remain a buzzsaw. Even the San Antonio Spurs, led by an alien disguised as a French teenager, have leapfrogged Golden State in the left-conference hierarchy.

The Warriors are no longer the hunters, nor are they the hunted. They are the background noise. They are the nostalgia act playing the side stage at the festival  — one step away from the county-fair circuit.

So, if the Warriors are going to be mediocre — and make no mistake, that is precisely what they are — they might as well be mediocre in a way that feels good. If the championship window is painted shut, why not throw a brick through it and let the fresh air of nostalgia blow in?

It is time to bring Klay Thompson home.

This is about the soul of the franchise. The sight of Thompson in a Dallas Mavericks jersey was and remains jarring to the system. It just feels wrong at a skeletal level. We’ll all feel that when we flip on our televisions on Christmas Day, when the Mavericks come to Chase Center, with No. 31 (ewww) in tow.

Why not right the wrong?

The Warriors’ problems are too numerous to list, and there is no in-season solution to them.

But perhaps there’s a move toward self-awareness to be made — a three-way deal that acknowledges the failure of the “two timelines” plan while giving the fans (and Steph Curry and Draymond Green, presuming he and coach Steve Kerr can move past their recent spat) the sunset ride they deserve:

• To Golden State: Klay Thompson, a player to be waived from Chicago
• To Chicago: Jonathan Kuminga
• To Dallas: Coby White

Is this a trade that catapults the Warriors past OKC or Boston in 2026? Absolutely not. Don’t be ridiculous.

But no trade that includes Jonathan Kuminga will do that. Who wants him? Who is going to give up anything of worth for him?

Given the current state of affairs in San Francisco, no trade beyond a full mortgaging of the post-Curry future gives the Warriors a bright, title-contending present.

Giannis isn’t coming. Neither is LeBron. Anthony Davis isn’t the solution. The problem with being a mediocre basketball team is that you often have mediocre basketball players, and no one is really looking for those at the deadline.

The tragedy of Kuminga is that the idea of him has always been far more seductive than the reality. The Warriors have spent half a decade waiting for the breakout, treating his athleticism like a dormant volcano. But he has played more games as a Dub than Kevin Durant or Andrew Bogut did. And now he is little more than an end-of-the-bench player for a .500 team —  a fluctuating asset (at best) in a market that demands consistency.

The Dubs need to take the L.

Kuminga’s value has plummeted to the point where Thompson — a diminished legend — or a not-in-our-future piece for another mediocre team like Coby White is likely the ceiling of the return.

The Bulls, forever stuck in their own purgatory, get a high-upside lottery ticket to pair with Josh Giddey and Matas Buzelis. (Surely this will go better than all the other high-upside lottery tickets…)

The Mavericks — going all-in on a Cooper-Flagg-led timeline — get White, a spark-plug scorer and ball-handler who can balance out their lineup, with or without Kyrie Irving.

And the Warriors? They get their identity back.

I can appreciate that Thompson seems to be living the good life in Texas, highlighted by a public romance with rapper Megan Thee Stallion. Who am I to suggest his quality of life would be better here?

But surely one last ride with the gang would be good for the soul. A tacit admission from the Warriors that they were wrong to let him leave would be healing.

As for the on-court stuff, Thompson is not the Klay of 2016. The defense has bottomed out; the legs are heavier.

But he can help the Warriors — he can still provide the one thing this current roster is screaming for: competent, high-volume 3-point shooting to pair with Curry. This team produces catch-and-shoot opportunities. They’re just missing a Klay.

He would be unquestionably additive in a basketball sense. Even at a fraction of his prime, he gives the Dubs more than the big, fat zero Kerr is so keen to give Kuminga.

More importantly, this pivots the franchise strategy from “delusional contention” to “honorable discharge.” If the Warriors are going to stink, let them stink with dignity. Let the Big Three ride out the final years of this glorious era together, with Kerr looking on, exasperated but content in the final year of his contract.

Maybe he’ll stick around for another — all three players’ deals expire at the end of the 2026-27 season.

There is value in the vibes. And, let’s be honest, there is revenue in the reunion.

The two-timeline plan was a nice dream, but it’s years too late to salvage it. The Dubs made a last-ditch effort to cover up their error last year by acquiring Jimmy Butler, but it’s the kids who have taken over the league.

You can either fight a losing war with mercenaries and confused prospects, or you can get the band back together for the encore they deserve.

Bring Klay back. It’s the best thing the Warriors can do.

Because if this ship is going down, let it go down with the captain and his first mates on the deck, playing the hits.