I've never allowed Santa with my kids and their Christmas season is wonderful
The holidays start earlier and earlier every year and expectations, shopping lists and parties are never-ending. By the time December begins, many parents are already out of breath. I’m not having it. I want the Christmas season to be peaceful and joyful. I refuse to run around like a madwoman fulfilling shopping lists, going to every holiday party and most of all, perpetuating the Santa tradition for my kids.
That’s right — we don’t do the whole Santa thing in our family. No gifts from Santa. No photos with Santa. No sitting on an old guy’s lap and telling him all about Christmas wish lists. The only cookies laid out on Christmas Eve are the ones I’m eating while wrapping gifts that are coming from my husband and I to our kids — not from Santa.
I feel zero guilt about my daughters not having the whole Santa experience and if you choose the same path, congratulations, your holiday season just got a bit easier. Calm Meditation App confirmed in a November study that 76% of millennial moms feel pressure to create a perfect holiday experience.
Since the perfect holiday experience does not exist, just cut out one more thing anyway. The mental unloading will feel great and the kids will not be missing out on any magical parts of the season. They will also have an opportunity to learn about true gratitude and not have the crushing experience of learning a big man in red-and-white fluffy clothing does not really exist.
The Santa myth can foster a lack of gratitude for gifts received. Children only write to Santa when they want something. There are no Santa mailboxes for thank-you notes. Parents work so hard to provide for their children and most already suffer from a lack of thankfulness from their offspring, which is exacerbated when Santa gifts the kids things they want and there are no avenues for gratefulness to the real gift-giver. Gratefulness is a lesson I try to weave into our everyday lives and the tradition of Santa fails to instill any kind of gratitude.
My parents kept the Santa myth going for years after I figured it all out for the sake of my younger siblings. I remember when I was a teenager and unwrapped a gift with the "From" tag that read, "Santa." In a flash of teenage girl clarity, I felt sad for my parents because I couldn’t say thank you to them at that moment. My mom knew what I really wanted for Christmas and she got it for me but disguised it as a gift from a holiday figure. It felt a little gross.
While I grew up in a middle-class family, I was not immune to the struggles of others. The myth of a jolly old elf who brings loads of presents to kids every Christmas can lend itself to children in struggling families feeling let down or unseen when Santa fails to bring them the flashy gifts some of their friends got from Santa. While life isn’t fair by any means, neither is the perpetuation of a mythical figure bringing expensive gifts to rich kids and smaller, less flashy gifts to poorer kids.
MOM'S CHRISTIAN ADVENT TOY SELLS OUT COMPLETELY AS FAITH REVIVAL SWEEPS AMERICA
Cutting Santa out of our holiday tradition has been so freeing. My husband and I have never had to lie to our kids about Santa or break the news that he isn’t a real being, and no reindeer will be landing on our rooftop on Christmas Eve. What we have told our daughters is that the legend of Santa is based on the actual Saint Nicholas, a real, fourth-century bishop whose generosity and thoughtfulness exhibited true virtues that we all strive to possess.
When my children were small and asked about Santa, it opened a conversation about gift-giving during Christmas. It was a beautiful opportunity to talk about the tradition of giving gifts while weaving in our Christian faith, which is often lost in the absolute insanity that the typical holiday season entails. While Santa is not real, the spirit of giving gifts to those we love during Christmas mirrors those who brought gifts to the baby Jesus to honor Him.
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One thing my family loves to do during the Christmas season is to visit nativity scenes, especially live ones. The church we attend every week is home to the largest nativity scene in South Carolina, which I think is the coolest thing. The life-size camel and nativity figures are beautiful and my family gets to see it every week through early February, the actual end of the Christmas season. The nativity scene is a perfect reminder about what this season means and whom our focus should be toward.
Creating the perfect holiday experience does not mean parents need to go overboard, pile a mountain of presents under the tree, and do literally everything to make their kids happy in order to give them a meaningful Christmas experience. Santa does not need to be included.
While we’re at it, ditch the Elf on the Shelf, also. Moms do not need one more thing to do every single day leading up to Christmas, nor do they need another lie to perpetuate. Of all the modern holiday traditions, that one is by far the worst.
The things that have made our Christmas season beautiful are minimal. We volunteer at our local maternity home’s Christmas party. We drive around and see Christmas lights and go to Christmas parades. We take time to pray at the nativity scene at our parish. The magic of the season does not need to be created — it’s already there in the quiet manger scene. The most important gift that children need is the presence of their parents and those who love them because those are the only true things that last in this world.