My son was born in December, and I try to make sure his birthday feels separate from the holidays

• My son was born during the first week of December, and I didn't want his birthday to be forgotten.
• I've tried to make sure his birthday feels separate from holiday celebrations over the years.
• Thankfully, he hasn't seemed to mind so much, though a true birthday celebration does help.

When I figured out that my son would be born in December, I was instantly worried that he'd deal with having his birthday overshadowed by the season. Luckily, over the years, my son developed a different attitude and began to think of Christmas as something for him. But I have still always been careful to protect his birthday as a separate festivity.

Christmas will always be associated with my son now

My son was born during the first week of December, so he was just over two weeks old for his first Christmas. His birth was really marked by the holiday season. The hospital where I had him was decorated already, and I survived those first late-night feedings by keeping myself awake with cookies and Christmas reruns.

By the time his first birthday rolled around, I wasn't sure how to approach the theme of his party. I decided to keep it holiday-adjacent, choosing a red and white color scheme since the house was already decorated for Christmas. I kept this up for years and realized quickly that it didn't bother my son. If anything, I think that, at least while he was young, he always thought Christmas was all part of his birthday.

When he was finally old enough for me to ask what kind of birthday he'd like, it was still "Christmas." To ensure his special day still felt distinct from the season, I'd make sure his cake was something he was interested in at the time, such as a Batman or football theme. However, besides putting up a "Happy Birthday" sign and getting balloons, the Christmas decorations have essentially always doubled as the party decorations.

I've pushed for the separation from Christmas

I'd say the biggest December birthday issue we've run into is when someone gives my son a gift, saying it's both for his birthday and Christmas. This usually happens with extended family and friends that we don't see as often. Luckily, I have a great kid who would never complain about receiving a combined birthday and Christmas gift, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to the fact that it hurts his feelings a little.

The best way I have found to avoid this happening is by throwing him a true birthday party. So far, no one has ever come to celebrate him with a Christmas present. Making sure his birthday is an occasion on its own sets a boundary between it and the rest of the holidays.

Breaking up the holidays by celebrating my son is actually lovely

One unexpected upside to his birthday being during the holiday rush has been that it feels like a break from the season. This year, my son turned 12 and had some friends over to celebrate. And this year, nothing about his party had to do with Christmas. We hadn't gotten our tree up or decorations out yet, and I served all traditional party foods, including pizza, cake, and an ice cream sundae bar. Best of all, all of the gifts from his friends were wrapped in birthday wrapping paper with birthday cards. They all spent the party hanging out, having the absolute time of their lives.

The season's activities can become a lot, especially with school events like Spirit Week, so I think a pause from that to do something that's still fun is refreshing for everyone. But mostly, I think my son felt really special to be celebrated like that by his best friends. It was probably his first birthday party that really felt like something separate from Christmastime.

I think he deserves a birthday that feels like one

My son is a Sagittarius, like anyone with a December birthday before the 22nd. They are known for being adventurous and optimistic, and my son is as well. He could make the most out of any situation, which is part of why I believe having a birthday so close to Christmas doesn't bother him at all. It's me who wants to protect the day we celebrate him from being lumped into Christmas.

I've now seen the difference between the Christmas-adjacent birthday and the birthday-birthday, and it proves to me that it's important not to combine the two. As his mom, I notice the subtle differences. It's the small look I see on his face when he gets a "Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas," instead of hearing each individually on their respective days.

Having a Christmas birthday doesn't make it any less important. However, it is essential to make the distinction.