What not to say to someone who just got laid off

In today’s workplace, layoffs are no longer rare—they’re a reality many employees have seen up close or have experienced themselves. 

On LinkedIn, the posts seem endless, each one paired with the now-familiar “Open to Work” banner. Or even more jarring: a coworker’s Slack avatar is green one minute and grayed out the next—before disappearing altogether.

When a teammate is suddenly let go, the instinct is often to comfort them, respond thoughtfully—say the right thing, offer support, and help them feel less alone. But in the emotional blur that follows a layoff, even well-intentioned comments can land poorly, and certain reactions can unintentionally make the moment harder.

So how do you genuinely show up for a colleague or friend who’s just been laid off—without overstepping, fumbling the moment, or offering advice that does more harm than good?

Do ask: How can I help you?

According to organizational psychologist Erica Pieczonka, many of us have a reflex when someone we care about is going through a hard time. We jump straight into fix-it mode: “Something bad happened—let me give you a solution.” 

But sometimes, people don’t need advice at all. They just need someone to listen, Pieczonka explained.

Maryland-based Stefanie Magness, who was laid off in 2019 from her role in public affairs, echoed this perspective. “If you know someone who is experiencing a layoff, resist the urge to offer advice or solutions. Just be there,” she said. “Sit in the room together or bring a meal for them. Even a text that says ‘I’m thinking of you’ can mean the world to someone who feels like their life is unraveling.”

While it might be hard to resist offering a list of solutions, Pieczonka suggests asking, “What kind of support do you want right now?” or “Do you want me to listen, or do you want me to solution with you?”

She added: “Keeping it light and small, versus dumping on them, will help. Because really, during layoffs, they’re already feeling completely overwhelmed.”

Don’t say: You’ll bounce back

When speaking with someone who has faced a layoff, it’s important not to fill them with empty reassurances. Pieczonka explained that this might look like: “Oh, you’ll bounce back. You got this, you’re a superstar, you’ll move on. There’s something better for you.”

Magness said that one unhelpful comment she often heard was: “Something better is coming.” “People love to say this when the world is falling apart. Yes, maybe it is, but when you are standing in the chaos, you are not thinking of what is coming. You’re just trying to breathe.”

For Ohio-based Kyle Rankert, who was laid off in 2020 from his role in healthcare, it’s this: “You’ll land on your feet. You always do!” “That one always made me feel like the person just assumed, ‘Hey, you’ve been lucky so far, and you’ll be lucky again,’” Rankert said.

Although it might sound helpful, empty reassurances often fail to validate someone’s experience of grief, sadness, or anger. 

Pieczonka explained that, hypothetically, this is how someone in that position might be feeling: “It feels like you’re not seeing me. I need you to see me.” So avoiding those types of phrases can be really important.

Christina Muller, a workplace mental health expert at R3 Continuum, a national HR and workplace behavioral health agency, expressed a similar sentiment. “People want to feel validated. They want to know that people care. And saying something as simple as, ‘I know this must be a really difficult time right now. I understand how this would be really hard,’” helps them feel that validation, she said.  

When someone goes through a layoff, focus on listening. Resist empty platitudes and allow them to express their emotions without trying to fix or minimize what they’re feeling.

Do offer: your time

Sometimes, supporting a colleague or friend who’s been laid off doesn’t require solving problems—it can be as simple as spending time together.

“If you know somebody who got laid off, just asking them to coffee to catch up can be helpful,” Pieczonka said. You can also offer healthy habits to do together. “Do you want to go on a walk together? Should we get a yoga class?” she suggested.

Muller offered a similar approach, encouraging colleagues to simply offer their time, especially if they’re struggling with the layoff: “I’m thinking about you, and I’d appreciate being a support for you. Let me know if maybe you’d like to go for a walk sometime, or if there’s anything else that would make you feel best supported right now.”

Supporting them and maintaining small routines can help prevent the downward spiral that often follows a major life change. You don’t even need to bring up the layoff. Just be their friend.

“In conversation, the person who got laid off will probably bring it up and ask for a favor, but you don’t have to feel the pressure to do that. Just being with them and connecting with them is gift enough sometimes,” Pieczonka said.

Simply being present is the most meaningful support you can offer.

Don’t assume: a layoff is the same for everyone

It’s important to remember that a layoff doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone. Some people may even feel a sense of relief or excitement, especially if they had already been thinking about leaving their job.

“Maybe they had one foot out the door, and now they’re going to get some severance pay and have more freedom to look elsewhere,” Muller explained.

Understanding where someone is coming from matters, and if you’re reaching out, you might already have a sense of that based on your relationship with them.

Do offer: helpful tools if you have them

When you do offer help, it’s best to give people the option rather than assuming what they need. 

“Sometimes people feel a little awkward accepting help from a friend in certain ways, and they might not know if certain things are in your wheelhouse,” Muller said. 

She added: “I always encourage people to preface any ask with, ‘I understand if this isn’t something you’re thinking about right now or want to do. But I’d be happy to help you look at your résumé, if that’s something you’re interested in.’” 

Or, even check to see if they’d be interested in roles at your company. “I wish more people who truly knew me would have asked around at their own companies, looking to see who needed help where,” Rankert said.

Following Muller’s advice, this could look like: “I understand if this isn’t something you’re thinking about, but I’d be happy to look to see if my company has any openings.” Just giving them the option ensures you’re not overstepping by assuming what they need, or forcing favors, even if your intentions are good.

Showing up for a colleague after a layoff doesn’t have to be complicated. Overall, avoid empty reassurances, don’t assume you know what they need, and resist jumping into fix-it mode. Instead, listen, offer support in manageable ways, and simply be present.