How Democrats can win back male voters: start by respecting them

Let me start with a confession.

A few years ago, when I was mayor of Ithaca, New York, I climbed onto the roof of City Hall and caught one of my interns vaping. He froze. I froze. We both knew the moment was loaded. 

I could’ve scolded him — I was the boss, the elected official, the health policy nerd. But instead, I just said, “Well… better than actually smoking.”

He exhaled (literally), and we had a real conversation about risk, addiction and choices.

That, my friends, is harm reduction. And if Democrats are serious about winning back male voters — and winning back the majority — we need a whole lot more of that energy.

Unfortunately, too often, Democrats sound like that one nosy Ned Flanders type of neighbor you would avoid at the block party as a teenager.  

"Pull up your pants. Pull up your mask. Fix your posture. Stop vaping. Stop swearing. Did you know football causes concussions? Mixed martial arts is bad. Cars are bad. Stoves are bad. You're bad. Everything is bad."

COVID pandemic public health measures were necessary, but the heavy impact of broad restrictions alienated voters and made Democrats seem overbearing.

We're supposed to be the party of compassion, progress and personal freedom, but somewhere along the way, we got saddled with the vibe of a hall monitor with a clipboard.

And voters, especially men, have noticed. In 2024, Trump won 54 percent of the male vote. Among Latino men, he flipped a 23-point deficit from 2020 into a 10-point lead. Ouch.

We didn’t just lose them on policy. We lost them on attitude.

If we want to reconnect, we need to stop trying to parent grown men. Nobody wants to be told what to do — they want to be understood. That’s where harm reduction comes in.

Harm reduction says, “Hey, we get it. People aren’t perfect. Let’s keep them alive, healthy and safe anyway.”

It's cooler, and it works. 

Let’s talk facts.

• Drugs: Syringe exchange programs are wildly effective. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says they cut HIV and Hepatitis C transmission, connect people to treatment and don’t increase drug use. 
• Tobacco: Nicotine pouches like Zyn aren’t risk-free, but they’re way safer than cigarettes. If every cigarette smoker in America switched to vaping or Zyns tomorrow, we’d save hundreds of thousands of lives.
• Environmental Policy:  Environmental harm reduction means helping people transition to cleaner energy without punishment or shame. Instead of banning gas stoves, we should subsidize heat pumps and electric vehicles, like the Inflation Reduction Act does, making low-carbon choices more accessible. It’s not about moral purity, it’s about practical progress that meets people where they are.
  Housing: Harm reduction in housing starts with Housing First, a model that provides people experiencing homelessness with stable housing without requiring sobriety or treatment first. It’s proven to reduce chronic homelessness and lower public costs by cutting emergency room visits and jail time. It’s simple: People can’t recover if they’re sleeping on concrete. Stability comes first — everything else follows.

I have watched Democrats fall into the same trap over and over again: we know the data, we know what’s safest, we know what people should do — and then we tell them.

Loudly. Sometimes a little smugly.

The intention is good, but the effect? Too often, it sounds like scolding.

Let’s trade the wagging finger for the open hand. Let’s be the party that says: “We want you healthy and happy — even if you mess up sometimes.” Let’s be the party of second chances, not second guesses.

Most people, in my experience, especially men, don’t want to be preached at. They want to be respected. They want to be safe. They want freedom to make their own choices as long as they aren’t harming others. They want to know the people in charge are practical, not paternalistic.

By embracing harm reduction, we can shift the Democratic posture from one of judgment to one of care.

We can be the party that doesn’t say “do as I say,” but says, “we’ve got your back.” That’s how you win elections.

And more importantly, that’s how you govern well.

Svante Myrick is president of People For the American Way.