I was an HR manager at Meta who helped guide the layoff process. Then they cut my role too — here's what being laid off taught me.

• Chikara Kennedy was a senior HR manager at Meta and helped guide the company through layoffs.
• She was devastated to learn in 2023 that her role had also been impacted, and took a solo Bali trip.
• She became a coach and now leads retreats for women who are transforming their lives and careers.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Chikara Kennedy, a 42-year-old CEO of Chikara Power Coaching who splits her time between Mexico and Washington, DC. Business Insider has verified Kennedy's employment with documentation and edited her words for length and clarity.

I'd been working in HR for nearly 15 years when I was hired by Facebook, now known as Meta, in 2018 as a senior HR manager.

I was working out of the Chicago office, and then became a remote employee in 2020 during COVID. I moved to DC in 2022, still as a remote worker, to be closer to family while going through a divorce.

At Meta, I worked closely with leaders on things like coaching, performance management, recognition programs, morale-boosting, restructuring, and organizational development.

When the company began implementing layoffs in 2023, part of my role was helping guide the company through the process. I felt passionate about doing layoffs the right way — a way that was respectful to people.

In the end, I was shocked and devastated to learn that this very Meta layoff would impact my role, too.

Despite being a high performer, I was laid off

Growing up, we're taught that if you go to school, get good grades, and do a good job, things will turn out the way they're supposed to. As a society, we make work a big part of our identities.

I'd worked for Meta for nearly five years and was a high performer. I had received great ratings, had good relationships, and was acknowledged for exceeding expectations.

But in 2023, the company laid off 10,000 employees and withdrew 5,000 open roles it had yet to fill. I was part of a team that was very severely impacted.

Despite my intimate knowledge of the process, the experience was more challenging than I anticipated. I went through all the stages of grief. I was mad, sad, embarrassed, and in disbelief. Following my divorce, I was anxious about finances, and with so many tech companies doing layoffs, I was worried about not finding another job.

I remember there was a moment when those of us impacted were all messaging each other online and saying things like, "Who has the connections? What are the next jobs that are hiring? Let me connect you."

It was encouraging, and I was happy to be among a group of star players that were helping each other. But I had to ask myself if jumping right back into a new job was really what was best for me.

Ultimately, I decided to take a step back

I'd always been empathetic towards people experiencing layoffs, but living through one in such a tough economy helped me understand the transactional nature of employment. Things can change at any time, anywhere, and so much isn't in our control.

Although it was devastating, I also began to tune into my own voice. I wanted to honor myself and not be influenced by other people, so I decided to take a solo retreat.

I booked a trip alone to Bali from D.C. and went with no itinerary — just the intention to enjoy myself, enjoy the sights, and look inward to figure out what I truly wanted moving forward.

The trip felt like I was on a Black woman's version of Eat, Pray, Love. I turned off my phone and computer, connected with strangers, and did things like breath work and meditation, just trying to get my mind and thoughts together.

These practices helped quiet the noise and fear of being laid off. It shifted the way I viewed myself, and the possibilities I could see for myself.

It was like I became the main character of my own life. Before the layoff, I would often ask: "What can I do to make this organization better?" But now I began to ask, "What are my goals, my strengths? What would I love to be doing on a day-to-day basis? If I'm not reacting out of hurt, embarrassment, or the need to prove I'm good enough to land another job right away, what do I truly want to do?"

For me, the answer was founding my company, Power Coaching and Consulting.

I'm now a coach, and I plan to run retreats in the next year

Since my Meta layoff, I'm currently living between Washington, DC, and Playa del Carmen in Mexico.

I've taken on leadership roles at retreats in Croatia and South Africa and am hosting my own power retreat for the first time in January at a private retreat center in Mexico.

The retreats involve women from all professions and walks of life and include activities and sessions like guided meditation, Temazcal and Cacao ceremonies, astrological and tarot readings, and wellness workshops. In a beautiful setting with like-minded women, I help clients explore their goals and overcome obstacles to achieve meaningful transformation in their careers and lives.

My advice for those going through a layoff

It's normal to have feelings of grief, but it's also important to remember you're not alone. A layoff isn't a reflection of you, your performance, or your value as a person; it doesn't have to define you.

If you're going through a layoff, use it as an opportunity to figure out who you are and what you want next. The biggest challenges in our lives can lead to the biggest breakthroughs if we're willing to do the work.

Do you have a story to share about dealing with a layoff? Contact this editor, Jane Zhang, at janezhang@businessinsider.com.