I'm a federally employed military spouse and feel forced into retirement. It's making me sad that I voted for Trump.

• A military spouse who has worked in government for 25 years is retiring early ahead of another move.
• Retiring gives financial safety, but she feels forced into the choice by the hiring freeze and DOGE.
• The situation — and how it's impacting military families— makes her sad she voted for Trump at all.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a federally employed military spouse who's taking up the Department of Defense on its Deferred Resignation Program/Voluntary Early Retirement Authority (DRP VERA) offer because she feels she's out of options. She has requested anonymity because her early retirement is not yet approved. Business Insider has verified her identity and employment.

White House Deputy Press Secretary Anna Kelly told BI that "President Trump has consistently stood up for our military families — delivering crucial reforms that improved VA healthcare, decreased veteran homelessness, and enhanced education benefits. His efforts to cut wasteful spending and make agencies more efficient will ensure our government can better serve all Americans, especially our veterans and their loved ones."

My 25 years of government service are about to come to an end — not because I want them to, but because I feel I don't have another choice. I'm opting into the DRP VERA before my husband and I move to Hawaii in June for his job in the Navy.

Part of me is at peace, but another part is full of resentment. I feel pushed into this choice — pushed by DOGE. It's been such a stressful, emotional decision. I'm not ready to end the only career I've known, but I'm also not ready to stay behind as my husband moves thousands of miles away.

I agree with DOGE that the government should get smaller. There are plenty of things that can be cut, but I expected more organization and empathy when I cast my vote for Trump in November. At this point, I'm sad I voted for him at all.

'Doesn't feel like support to me'

I'm no stranger to military moves. My dad spent 23 years in the Navy, I've been married to two different Navy guys, and I've worked for the DoD since I was in my early twenties.

Finding a new job during past moves with my ex and my current husband hasn't always been easy. The application process is long, and waiting for the right opening is frustrating, but it's always been possible. Federal employment was the safest option for me, a rare type of stability in a life of movement.

This time feels totally different.

Trump says he supports military spouses, but relocating during a hiring freeze doesn't feel like support to me, not to mention that summer is peak military move season. Nobody in HR has answered my questions. I'm asking them to show me how they're supporting us, and so far, they've not shown anything.

Even though Trump has made accommodations for military spouses working in the government, the hiring freeze would make it impossible for me to get a new job in Hawaii.

As of just a few weeks ago, I was planning to stay behind in Virginia and wait out the freeze. Neither I or my husband was keen on that, but it just wasn't financially feasible for me to go to Hawaii without a paycheck or any sense of how to get a job in the private sector for the very first time — in my 50s and without a degree.

Finances are simpler, but internal life isn't

When the DoD announced a second opportunity to take a DRP VERA, which is open to anyone older than 50 with more than 20 years in the government, I knew it made sense financially. Assuming it's approved, I'll keep getting my paycheck through September.

The finances are simpler now, but my internal life isn't. I don't talk politics much anymore — it's too personal for me at this point.

Now it's my life, as well as other military lives, caught up in the balance.

Have a tip? Contact this reporter via email at atecotzky@insider.com or Signal at alicetecotzky.05. Use a personal email address and a nonwork device; here's our guide to sharing information securely.