Below Deck Down Under Recap: The Calm Before the Storm
As a stubborn person, I can sometimes think of stubbornness as a virtue: when it helps me steel against procrastination, for example, or power me to do things I don’t want to do, like going to the gym or cleaning the house. But this week, my beliefs in the merits of stubbornness were challenged by Lara’s astounding inflexibility. Now that Wihan is gone, Tzarina is standing up for herself, and Jason is tightening his grip on the goings-on of the crew, Lara’s iron fist has been raised. She is like the Margaret Thatcher of yachting.
“Lipstick Service” picks up where we left off at the club, where Lara and Tzarina are having the world’s least productive conversation. All Lara takes from it is the fact that Tzarina referred to her as “a stewardess” rather than a “chief stewardess,” which gives her enough grudge-material to last through the entire charter. To Bri, she exasperates over why Tzarina cares about PlateGate — the moment last week when Lara strongly suggested Tzarina change plates for a Mob Wives-themed dinner — and Bri, intoxicated and deferential towards her dictator, is incapable of saying what everyone is thinking: Imagine if the roles were reversed.
The crew splits into two groups heading back to the boat: there’s a fun van, where everyone is laughing and eating pizza, and the no-fun van, where Harry is inquiring about the “tension” between Lara and Tzarina. He thinks Lara is overreacting to the whole plate thing, but Alesia points out that the plates are just the tip of the iceberg. Alesia herself had no trouble finding her way to the other side of the mess after her talk with Tzarina: She spent the night flirting wholesomely with Nate, whose “playful and soft” personality more closely aligns with the guys she’s dated in the past than Johnny’s poetic and grave sensibility. I miss that guy! Can we bring him back?
It looks like it’ll be a slow burn between Alesia and Nate since it has been … one day since she was texting Johnny, “I miss you.” Marina and Nic, meanwhile, bond over mutual nerdiness. They might be headed somewhere good if Marina can let her guard down after the Wihan fiasco. He even texts her “good night” with a winky face, and the next day, Marina tells the other women in the interior department that she has a good feeling about him.
Nic feels the same way — when Lara convenes the stews and Nate convenes the deckies for a pre-charter talk, both departments talk more about Marina and Nic’s kiss than work. Last week, I wrote that Tzarina was becoming impossible to defend, and it’s always right when I’m about to give up on her that she does something human and kind. Speaking with Alesia, she genuinely apologizes for dragging her into her fight with Lara. “I am embarrassed by the way I reacted,” she admits, “but I felt like I was pushed into a corner by [Lara].” She reassures her sous that she can talk to her about anything, and Alesia takes their talk to heart. The two of them have opposing personalities — Alesia is direct, whereas Tzarina is reserved — but they both share an openness that allows them to work through the crisis in a productive way.
Lara would do well to learn from them. Already peeved from being conversationally demoted by Tzarina the night before, the preference sheet meeting only worsens her mood. At first, she is excited by the incoming guests’ request for a circus-themed night — it reminds her of being a kid — but she deflates when Jason asks her to put Marina in service for the whole charter. He argues that it wouldn’t be good for Bri to finish the season with no housekeeping experience. Lara tries to get around the suggestion by saying that Marina “helps with breakfast service and is involved with lunch,” but the captain persists. Tzarina bashfully suggests that Marina would be great for circus night, and you can see a big, mean, black cloud passing over Lara’s eyes.
When they get back to their cabin, the most awkward place that has ever existed, Lara wants to have a chat. She says that she doesn’t want any animosity between the two of them, but then is totally unwilling to hear what Tzarina has to say. Tzarina doesn’t seem particularly invested in making amends: She tells Lara that, instead of meddling in her department, she should have just told Alesia to speak to the chef if something was bothering her. But Lara thinks it’s her duty to listen to everyone; everyone, that is, except for Tzarina, apparently, which the chef points out. She finally asks Lara to just take a step back. Frustrated, Lara leaves the conversation without having made the slightest effort to understand Tzarina’s point of view.
As the deck team’s morale increases — Nate alerts the captain and the rest of the team that Harry is now lead deckhand, and everyone seems pleased, including Jason, at least for now — Lara continues to throw fuel to the fire. She finally puts Marina in service, thank God, but when ordering provisions for the charter, she buys a pink lipstick to replace the one Alesia lost, which she loved so much she called it “half of my personality.” I hate to be cynical, but under the circumstances, it’s impossible not to read this gesture, which in any other context would be nothing but kind, as manipulative. Only more so when a few moments later, Lara comes into the galley to ask Alesia to wipe and vacuum the crew mess after breakfast right in front of Tzarina’s unbelieving eyes.
Here, I want to take Lara by the hand and ask her how she might feel if Tzarina rolled up to her department asking her stews for stuff not in their job description right in front of her. Wasn’t she irritated when Wihan took Marina on excursions without clearing it with her first? Why not speak to Tzarina and check if there would be time on Alesia’s schedule to help clean up? Alesia doesn’t think too much of it — she’s happy to help — but Tzarina is weary.
Before things can get any more tense, the guests arrive. The primaries are a couple, Rebecca and Eric, who own an “alternative clothing company” in Los Angeles. Nate puts Harry and Nic on anchoring duty so that Harry can show Nic the ropes. Their mini-lesson starts out great, but increasingly, Harry becomes so caught up in explaining the process to Nic that he forgets to communicate with Jason over the radio. They only get more distracted when Nic leaves the anchor unlocked and it starts to drop crazily, which Harry then has to run to revert. Listening to Jason’s continuous questions about what is going on over the radio, Nate wonders about Harry’s efficiency. They finally anchor the boat without any further problems, but Jason calls Harry out on the radio. Harry apologizes, and later Jason gently pushes him on the mistake: “Gotta earn your stripes,” he warns, “I suppose you’re learning.” Harry is obviously one of Jason’s favorites, and it’s true that it’s only his first charter as lead deckhand, but I’m watching this space…
It’s not just Harry who is struggling under his new position: throughout the episode, Bri is frazzled by housekeeping. She fights with the laundry machines; she doesn’t know where anything is or goes; even Adair is impressed by how much more she knows about cabins than Bri. Still, Lara sends Bri with the guests on their sunset bonfire beach excursion so she can have a break, a generosity unknown to Marina. The guests have a great time, only returning to the Katina when it’s already dark out. Bri, Adair and Nate get a chance to enjoy the bonfire’s last embers as they wait for the tender to come get them.
When Lara sees that Bri hasn’t come back with the guests, her eye immediately starts twitching. “Next time,” she tells Bri the moment she arrives on the boat, “come back with the guests.” By that point, Marina and Lara have already started setting the table for the night’s Seafood Extravaganza, which looks awesome. Between the beach bonfire and this choice of dinner theme, these guests have some of the best taste of the season. Maybe Tzarina works better when filled with rage: She serves lobster, oysters, fried mussels, crab pasta, everything that makes life worth living. The guests love the food, and Alesia is thrilled that Tzarina asks her to put her chef jacket on and come up to the deck to explain the dishes to the guests.
Alas, the galley’s good vibes plummet when Lara gives Alesia the pink lipstick that she ordered. Alesia is so happy with the gift, she gets choked up. Tzarina takes a moment in her bathroom to compose herself (“Jesus, that bitch,” she mutters) and does a good job not taking out her frustration with Lara’s tactics on Alesia, who raves about Lara’s thoughtfulness and the pretty shade of pink she picked out.
The next morning, a huge swell that Jason had already anticipated in the preference sheet meeting finally arrives, and it’s strong enough to rock the Katina like a sailboat during breakfast service. As the crew runs around replacing stuff that’s slipping and sliding, Bri struggles to handle breakfast and cabins, though she did manage to clean up the crew mess area for Alesia. The Galley vs. Interior plot thickens when Lara asks Alesia to help with clearing the table and bringing things down to the galley. Tzarina warns that if Alesia isn’t careful, she’ll end up becoming cook/stew. “That’s what happened on my last boat,” she seethes. Way to drop this bomb on us at the very end of the episode! I need to know more about the sordid history behind this fight. Is Lara staging a coup?
The day passes uneventfully — though the swell makes waters choppy, guests are still able to enjoy the water toys. Things only start to look bad once Lara begins decorating for circus night. She asks the crew to come up with a circus act for the guests, and as she’s hanging up yards of crepe paper on the ceiling, a strong wind starts to blow. By 8:15 pm, it’s like a monsoon. A cartoon-like storm, complete with yellow lightning bolts and thunderous noises, begins to rage. Lara’s decorations go to shit. Could it be a sign from God?