Hybrid work didn't kill office romances — but now you have to 'manufacture serendipity' to make them happen

• Office romances still happen despite a shift toward hybrid and remote work.
• They now rely on digital communication, with less time to work out in-person chemistry.
• This means people have to be more bold and deliberate about pursuing a colleague they like.

Falling in love at work has changed.

Those who study relationships have long been confident about the factors that cause people to fall in love with colleagues. It's largely because of proximity, but also because working toward a common goal is a bonding experience.

Now, at companies where hybrid work is commonplace, teammates meet more sporadically. They certainly don't rack up almost 1,700 hours a year or more in the office together like they used to.

Channa Bromley, a relationship coach who specializes in helping high-achieving men and women, told BI the shift to remote and hybrid work "has completely changed" the way office romances unfold.

"The pandemic didn't kill workplace romance — it just changed the battlefield," Bromley told BI. If anything, the disruption with remote and hybrid work has only "made workplace relationships more intentional," she said.

Proximity bred familiarity in a traditional office setting, but now, without the casual watercooler chats or the slow burn of in-person camaraderie, connections at work require deliberate effort, Bromley said: "People aren't just falling into relationships because they spend eight hours a day together."

Manufactured serendipity

Bromley said the biggest shift is that office relationships no longer happen by accident. Now, they require strategy, with people having to "manufacture serendipity."

Before the pandemic, a marketing executive who was one of Bromley's clients fell for a coworker "over months of casual interactions."

"There was no single moment where it clicked," she said. "It was the accumulation of small, familiar ones. By the time they got together, there was already an unshakable foundation."

In 2025, the dynamic of finding love is different. Another of Bromley's clients, an engineer, barely knew a woman on his team beyond Slack messages and the occasional Zoom call, but he knew he was attracted to her.

Bromley said the relationship was then "built with intention," with her client finding ways to see the woman beyond work tasks, such as flirty Slack messages, virtual coworking sessions, and "lingering on video calls."

"When they finally met in person, it wasn't about discovering attraction," Bromley said. "It was about testing whether the connection they built in controlled, digital spaces could survive in the real world."

A double-edged sword

Jenn Gunsaullus, a sociologist, relationship expert, and corporate speaker, told BI that remote work is a double-edged sword when it comes to office relationships. On the one hand, there are fewer risks once a relationship develops, with less opportunity for scrutiny, less office gossip, and "no awkward run-ins if things don't work out."

"But on the other hand, it also makes it harder to read chemistry in real time," which can prevent relationships from forming in the first place, Gunsaullus said.

"You don't get to pick up on body language, shared eye contact, or that natural energy that can build when two people are around each other every day."

Stealth mode

The fundamental rules of attraction haven't changed. Shared goals, high-pressure environments, and the psychology of teamwork still create bonds.

Angelika Koch, a relationship and breakup expert at the dating app Taimi, told BI that during the pandemic, people became accustomed to communicating more through their phones and less in person.

"This distance allows more flexibility when it comes to conversations," she said. "And subtle flirtations through texts are more likely to begin with those who feel that spark."

Lucy Finter, an account and social media manager at Press Box PR, met her boyfriend at work 18 months ago, while they were both in the office part of the time.

At the beginning of their relationship, Finter said she was excited about the three days they would be in the office together, getting to go on "mini dates" in the day between their official ones.

Bromley said people have to be bolder now to pursue an office relationship. They must pick up on signals when they meet in person and rely on messages and emails in the interim.

"The intensity hasn't disappeared," she added. "It's just gone underground, where it simmers in private messages and well-timed emojis."

Workplace romance isn't dead, Bromley added: "It's just operating in stealth mode."