Toxic 1D fallout, ‘strong’ drug use & violent rage… how troubled Zayn Malik was saved from brink by life changing moment
ZAYN Malik had plenty of reasons to be thankful for the “unwavering amount of love and support” that helped him finally complete his solo tour – an entire decade after he quit One Direction.
“We got there,” he said, with relief, hinting at the agony he’d faced navigating life going from being 1D’s rebellious, tattooed ‘Bradford Bad Boy’ to the quiet father-figure who keeps bees and chickens at his home in Pennsylvania.
Despite four solo albums, crippling anxiety prevented him from performing, and at times, there were fears about his drug use.
Last year, the sudden death of his former bandmate Liam Payne forced a further delay – so given the circumstances, completing the run of gigs was especially impressive.
Zayn’s life has been anything but plain sailing since his difficult departure from 1D, with a bitter falling out with ex-girlfriend Gigi Hadid’s mum Yolanda making headlines.
But pals credit the 32-year-old stepping up to be a good role model to his four-year-old daughter Khai, who he shares with Gigi, with “saving” him.
One source said: “Friends inside and outside of the music industry are incredibly proud of the man Zayn has become.
“It could have all gone so differently – there have been genuine concerns for him over the years, but the storms he has weathered have given him strength and clarity. Finishing the tour was a huge hurdle for him to overcome.
“It’s been an incredible turnaround. Fatherhood has been the making of him. Khai has absolutely saved him.”
Brooding, Bradford-born Zayn (who added the “y” to his birth name Zain apparently to sound “more rock ‘n’ roll”) might have seemed the likeliest member of 1D to go off the rails – he admits he was “very ignorant” when the group was assembled in 2010 on The X Factor, though aged just 17, that is hardly surprising.
“They used to make out I was the serious one, the mysterious one,” he complained. “That wasn’t really my personality… it was just a marketing scheme.”
That persona defined for him, rather than by him, irked, and he would later describe being part of the world’s biggest boyband as a “continuous struggle”.
In May 2014, at peak 1D mania, he and bandmate Louis Tomlinson were filmed smoking an “illegal substance” while travelling in Peru, slating the band’s merchandise as “girly and not cool”.
The controversy rocked the band’s squeaky clean image. In March the next year, Zayn was photographed partying hand in hand with British teenager Lauren Richardson, sparking rumours he had cheated on his Little Mix girlfriend Perrie Edwards.
The furore made front page news around the world, prompting Zayn to dramatically quit the group in March 2015, announcing he “wanted to be a normal 22-year-old” and “have some private time out of the spotlight”.
Later, he would admit the bandmates “got sick of each other”, and he had “selfish” sights on becoming its first solo breakout star – so with the group refusing to sign new contracts, he made the jump.
Controversy loomed, and within a month, producer Naughty Boy leaked Zayn’s solo music, which 1D’s Louis criticised as an “inconsiderate” act of “trying to wind the fans up”.
Drug use
Zayn snarked back: “Remember when you had a life and stopped making b****y comments about mine?” It broke fans’ hearts to see the beloved boyband members at war.
Shortly after the release of his raunchy solo debut single Pillowtalk, Zayn’s career hit a hurdle. He cancelled appearances at the Summertime Ball in June 2016, and a concert in Dubai several months later, citing crippling anxiety that prevented him making it to stage.
The singer has candidly admitted he has “taken time to process” the experience of being in the group.
Some close to the star blamed his drug use for his emotional struggles, but Zayn has insisted weed is an unproblematic “part of [his] life”.
“I find it helps me be creative,” he said in 2016. “Some people say it kills your ambition, some people say it destroys your personality. Personally I haven’t had any of them experiences yet.”
Yet Zayn’s darkest moments were still to come. After splitting from Perrie, he had seemingly settled down with supermodel Gigi Hadid who starred in his Pillowtalk video, and the pair welcomed their daughter Khai in September 2020.
A year later, in October 2021, he entered a no contest plea to four charges of harassment against Gigi’s mother Yolanda – allegations included him “shoving” her into a dresser, though he always denied “striking” her, and calling her a “f***ing Dutch s**t”.
During the confrontation, he was accused of telling Gigi: “Strap on some f***ing balls and defend your partner against your f***ing mother in my house.”
Zayn was sentenced to 360 days of probation, and required to complete anger management and domestic violence education.
The incident marked the end of his six-year relationship with Gigi, and Zayn has since acknowledged he could not be “the best version of the partner” he wanted to be for his ex.
At the time, reports claimed there were concerns he was smoking “extremely strong” cannabis, and it was feared he had become isolated and distant while living on the Pennsylvania farm he and Gigi had retreated to during lockdown.
As pandemic restrictions eased, Zayn was filmed in a topless altercation outside a nightclub in New York. He later pulled out of the Met Gala at the last minute leaving Gigi to walk the high profile carpet alone – shortly after, Zayn was “quietly” dropped by his label RCA.
He had the unwavering support of his family in that time, including sister Waliya who reassured him publicly: “We may not have it all together but together we have it all.”
Fast forward two years, and the singer demonstrated a startling amount of growth, complete with a new record deal with Mercury, and a new outlook.
I’ve become a more compassionate, caring person for other people. And the thing I learned is I should have done that earlier
Zayn
He looked back at his time in the band regretfully: “It should have never been a competition. It should have always been a camaraderie, and we should have always been there for each other and had each other’s backs.”
Taking an admirable level of responsibility, he noted: “I’ve become a more compassionate, caring person for other people. And the thing I learned is I should have done that earlier.
“I had this teen angst thing going on, a chip on my shoulder where I’m like, ‘It’s really cool to just be moody as f*** all the time.’”
It heartened those closest to him to hear.
Yet nothing could have prepared anyone for the pain of losing Liam, which left Zayn “beyond devastated”.
The pair, he admitted, “butted heads” over the years, but when Liam had sparked concern by referring to Zayn as a “d***” in an erratic interview in 2022, an emotionally mature Zayn let the comments slide, and he continued to refer to him as a brother.
In 2023, Liam praised the boys – “even Zayn” – for “sticking by” him and coming to his “rescue” while he was struggling. Zayn’s compassion for Liam was evident, a far cry from previous public spats, and in return, Liam said he was “so proud” of him shortly before his death.
‘He’s come a long way’
In November, just a month after Liam died falling from a balcony in Argentina, Zayn made it to stage in his late bandmate’s hometown where he paid tribute with a moving message: “Love you bro.”
It was mere months after he first performed solo, and must have been incredibly tough for the star, yet he finally made it to the stage, first in Leeds in November, before touring North America in January before playing the final night of his Stairway tothe Sky tour in Mexico in March.
That night, Zayn came close to tears performing One Direction’s Night Changes – the evening marked the 10 year anniversary of him quitting the group.
The source added: “When Zayn first went solo, there’s no way he would have wanted to sing a 1D song – now he’s not afraid to admit it almost brought him to tears. He’s come a long way.”
Timeline of events in Zayn's life
2010: Auditioned for The X Factor and joined One Direction
December 2011: Zayn and Perrie Edwards start dating
August 2013: Zayn and Perrie announce their engagement
March 2015: Left One Direction to become a solo artist
August 2015: Zayn and Perri break up.
January 2016: Zayn confirms he’s dating Gigi Hadid
March 2018: Zayn and Gigi briefly split but reconcile
January 2019: Zayn and Gigi split for a second time, but get back together
September 2020: Zayn and Gigi’s daughter Khai is born
October 2021: Zayn and Gigi split for the third and final time
Zayn is currently understood to still be single, and admitted last year he does not believe he has ever been in love, adding: “I’m really content and happy with being single for the first time in my life.”
But there is no question which special woman has truly captured his heart: his four-year-old daughter Khai.
The once-troubled star now adores painting and visiting the zoo during his 50/50 co-parenting split with Gigi, while enjoying the “quiet” of his Pennsylvania farm where he still resides, which he describes as a “great place to reflect”.
Unwavering love
Gigi has praised the pair’s “respect” for one another and their “camaraderie” – she says they are able to balance their hectic schedules thanks to custody schedules planned months in advance, with Zayn clearly being a devoted father.
“She’s given me maturity,” he gushes, adoringly. “She’s forced my sensibility to become this mature father for her, this good responsible role model that takes accountability for their actions and sticks to their work and proves that my word is my bond.
“As an adult, things go grey and she has bought the colour back for me for sure.”
Thanks to his unwavering love for Khai, Zayn really has got there.