My husband died at just 36 after ‘picking up a nursery bug’ from our son – we didn’t think his symptoms were so serious
WHEN Laura Coleman-Day’s husband started feeling unwell in early 2022, they assumed it was a string of viruses picked up at their son’s nursery.
“He kept catching bugs and had really bad night sweats, but we just thought it was normal,” Laura, 33, said, speaking about Xander.
“So I told him: ‘Either stop moaning or go to a doctor.’”
The GP couldn’t pinpoint the issue but referred for blood tests.
Later that evening, the couple, from Witham St Hughs, in Lincolnshire, were urgently directed to A&E, where it was revealed that Xander’s white blood cell count was alarmingly high.
Xander, an otherwise fit and active RAF aerospace battle manager, was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, an aggressive form of blood cancer.
“It was a massive shock,” Laura said.
The couple had no chance to process what had happened before he began emergency chemotherapy in mid-2022.
Further tests revealed that Xander carried the Philadelphia chromosome, a genetic anomaly that meant his best chance of survival would be a stem cell transplant.
By December 2022, he was declared cancer-free.
But as a precaution, he went ahead with the transplant in January 2023 to reduce the risk of relapse.
“He was still really poorly,” Laura recalled, remembering how her family spent Christmas on their own.
“[We] were isolating in readiness for him to go back into the hospital for the stem cell transplant. It felt like [we] were back in Covid,” she added.
Despite no signs of disease, they knew they weren’t out of the woods.
“It was good news,” she said. “But they thought it was just one step in what was going to be a long road to recovery.”
By June 2023, Xander once again felt very ill.
“He developed graft-versus-host disease,” Laura recalled. “His liver deteriorated, and his kidneys failed. It was heartbreaking.”
In February 2024, the couple learned that there were no further treatment options.
“Xander was young, fit, and healthy,” Laura said, visibly shaken. “He’d never smoked, rarely drank, and now he would need palliative care.”
Just hours after being discharged from hospital, Xander died, aged just 36.
The symptoms of childhood acute lymphoblastic leukaemia
Acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL) is a type of blood cancer that starts in the bone marrow, where white blood cells called lymphocytes are produced.
Although it is most common in children, ALL can affect adults as well. Symptoms often overlap with other conditions, making diagnosis challenging.
For adults, common symptoms include:
- Fatigue or weakness – Feeling extremely tired or weak due to low red blood cell counts (anemia)
- Flu-like symptoms – A combination of fever, chills, and aches that resemble a common illness
- High temperature (fever) – Often persistent without a clear cause
- Frequent infections – Due to a weakened immune system from low white blood cell counts
- Easy bruising and bleeding – Increased tendency to bruise or bleed, even from minor cuts
- Unexplained weight loss – Sudden and unexplained loss of body weight
- Swollen lymph nodes – Lymph nodes may swell, especially in the neck, armpits, or groin
- Bone or joint pain – Pain in the bones or joints as leukemia cells infiltrate the bone marrow
- Shortness of breath – Difficulty breathing, often caused by anemia or other complications
- Feeling full – A sensation of fullness due to an enlarged spleen or liver
- Pale or washed-out appearance – A pale complexion due to anemia
In some cases, patients may develop a rash that appears as tiny red, purple, or brown dots (petechiae) that don’t turn white when pressed.
Survival Rates
While survival rates are generally higher for children, adult survival rates vary based on age, overall health, and the specific treatment regimen.
Treatment advances have improved outcomes, but ALL in adults can be more challenging to treat compared to in children.
Source: Cancer Research UK
“They fought all day to get him home,” Laura said sadly.
“And he passed away two or three hours later. He was where he wanted to be. He fought so hard.”
“You read about things like this happening to other families, and you think, ‘That’ll never be us,’” she added.
“But then one day, it was. It was impossible to wrap their heads around.”
Determined to honour his memory, Laura began set herself a challenge in March 2024, to run 12 marathons in 12 months.
“It was ridiculous,” she laughed. “Xander would have been telling me I was completely bonkers – and he wouldn’t have been wrong.”
Through her challenge, she raised thousands for Anthony Nolan, the charity that helped find a donor.
“He would have been so proud of what I did,” Laura said. “Not just the running, but the awareness, the fundraising, just keeping going through the hardest year of my life.”
Now, Laura faced life as a single parent. “Amos was two when his dad died,” she said.
“He’s three now. He was my reason for everything. I’ve told people honestly: if it weren’t for Amos, I wouldn’t still be here.”
Saving other ‘mummies and daddies’
She trained at night while Amos slept, pounding the treadmill long after bedtime
“He’s the most wonderful little boy,” she said.
“So like his dad in temperament, mannerisms, and he’s the spitting image of him, so that that keeps me going.”
On April 21, 2025 – the date that would have marked their sixth wedding anniversary – Laura ran her 13th marathon: the London Marathon, wearing her wedding dress.
Laura had raised over £14,000 to “help save future mummies and daddies.”
Pascale Harvie, President and General Manager of JustGiving, praised her efforts.
“Laura’s incredible 12 marathons in 12 months challenge was a remarkable display of her strength and determination,” she said.