Worst Day of My Life

I got one of the worst text messages a parent can receive at 12:05 p.m. on April 17. “Active shooter.”

My daughter is in her final two weeks of undergraduate studies at Florida State University, where a shooter, later identified as FSU student Phoenix Ikner, opened fire. As I write, still the day of the shooting, two people have died and six others are injured. The six likely includes Ikner, who refused to comply with police commands and was shot and hospitalized but as of this writing is not in critical condition.

My courageous daughter knew that the best thing to do when she heard gun shots from her classroom was to keep her head and run. She and many students did. Her boyfriend was tabling outside of the Student Union representing a student organization he helps lead. He too knew to run. This was where the shooting happened. I cannot imagine the fear. They found each other on the other side of campus and wisely kept running, more than a mile until they reached a friend’s house off campus.

I finally got to talk to her just after they arrived. She was crying so hard I could not make out some of what she said. After saying that she and her boyfriend were safe, she broke down again when she said that she could not reach her best friend. At that time, all they knew was the police had responded but not whether the shooter had been subdued, how many were injured or killed, or even whether there was more than one shooter.

Hours later her best friend messaged that she was OK. In some places, police told students to leave their things behind, so she had done so with her phone.

I am so grateful that my daughter and all her friends are alive and safe. I am also grateful that from everything I have heard so far, campus police and local law enforcement responding quickly and effectively.

While I am still deeply gutted, I am moving toward anger. This incident marks the sixth mass shooting in Florida alone so far in 2025. While much remains to be understood as the investigation is ongoing, it seems that Ikner was able to access his mother’s former service weapon. She is a local sheriff’s deputy with seemingly a stellar reputation, so unless other information is revealed, I have nothing but sympathy for her. He had other weapons as well, though. This all should make us, once again, wonder why on earth it is so easy to obtain deadly firearms in this country.

I am also pissed at the response of leaders, but of course am not surprised, because it is the same old, same old.

President Trump doubled down on his “support for the Second Amendment,” calling the shooting a “shame” and “terrible” but said he won’t back any gun-related legislation.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis offered the largely worthless comment, as is typically the case, that he sends “thoughts and prayers.” Why, in a time of tragedy, a President needs to reassure the public that he supports lethal weapons and a Governor needs to offer the usual dry platitudes?

Gun control is never the only piece of the puzzle when we analyze horrible incidents like this. But it is one piece of it. As more is revealed about this shooting, I’d like to think it would inform conversations about who can acquire certain weapons, how many, the type of ammunition available, and more. I am sadly very doubtful that it will.

My daughter, her boyfriend, and their friends should be celebrating as they wrap up their undergraduate education. They should not be crying, anxious, sick to their stomachs, or fearful to attend their commencement ceremony in two weeks. The people who were injured or killed should have been safe on campus.

I am writing as this is very raw, and I know I have it better than many parents whose children were wounded or killed in school shootings. But this was one of if not the worst days of my life. No parent should go through this. Our children should not have to worry if they will die pursuing their education. They should not have the trauma that while they survived, others did not.

We have to do better.

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