Straight, white, middle-aged blokes are vilified & blamed for all the world’s problems – but now we all owe them thanks
IT turns out that straight, white, middle-aged blokes aren’t so bad after all.
For years, they’ve been caught in the middle of the destructive culture wars; the PSM (pale, stale male) vilified and blamed for all wrongdoing in the world. The last acceptable group left to lampoon.
How ironic, then, it’s this under-threat species women have to thank for protecting, well, womenkind.
The Supreme Court, one largely governed by the breed, came good in its verdict last week.
A supremely balanced ruling that a woman is defined by biological sex under equalities law was delivered by Lord Patrick Hodge, a 71-year-old grey-haired, dad of two. Peak PSM.
He told the court: “We counsel against reading this judgment as a triumph of one or more groups in our society at the expense of another. It is not.”
He added the legislation gives transgender people “protection, not only against discrimination through the protected characteristic of gender reassignment, but also against direct discrimination, indirect discrimination and harassment in substance in their acquired gender”.
Yet this fact, the assertion trans people be treated with dignity and kindness, appears to be entirely lost by those protesting at the verdict.
Thousands, waving pretty pale pink and baby blue trans pride flags and less pretty sweary banners, were angry. Very, very angry.
Activists defaced a statue of the suffragist Millicent Fawcett, and at least six other statues were vandalised.
Little angers decent, law-abiding British people more than oiks trying to spoil our history and culture.
These minority protesters are doing a gross disservice to the majority of decent, kind, normal trans people — ones who simply wish to live their lives quietly and peacefully.
The ones who don’t want to stand out or draw attention to themselves.
Instead of further stoking the hostile fires of identity politics, the trans and non-trans communities should be channelling frustrations and anger elsewhere; putting effort into finding solutions, not more problems.
Organising sports leagues and competitions, shelters and public spaces for those who need them, perhaps.
But another crucial take-away from this ruling, one overlooked by many celebrating it, is some women will be hurt by it.
Something rampant feminists and protesting trans extremists seem to be forgetting.
This obsession with genitals, not helped by the PM’s refusal to comment either way, could come at a cost to those this ruling was implemented to protect.
Come at a cost
What about women with PCOS?
Those with excess testosterone, or big frames and large hands?
Those with short hair or, in the case of those undergoing chemotherapy, no hair?
Will women, those more stereotypically masculine in appearance, be made to show passports every time they have a wee in a Nando’s?
The nuanced reality, then, is as Lord Hodge said.
This isn’t a win for any given group.
It is something that must be further explored and navigated sensitively.
And that does not involve trashing statues.
POSH WINS IN WHITE
VICTORIA BECKHAM’s decision to copy an outfit previously worn by her fractious daughter-in-law for her 51st birthday was a PR masterstroke.
While no one on Team DVB will ever officially comment on the stunt, Victoria has been in the fame game for almost 30 years – the very age of Brooklyn’s wife, Nicola Peltz.
Posh and Becks’ very public (alleged) falling-out with their beloved eldest son is being played out on Instagram – a medium that can make or break celebs.
Victoria knows EXACTLY what she is doing.
Wearing the same outfit as another woman, especially one 21 years your junior, is usually sartorial death.
But Victoria – who has not touched a carb since 1998, trains five times a week and whose pert boobs are not unfamiliar with the surgeon’s knife – looked every bit as good as Nicola in the matching white corset and trousers.
And she knows it.
1-0 VB.
DOGS’ DIRTY SECRET
MUCH can be told about a person by the way they interact with animals.
Are you, for example, the kind of human who nods and smiles at a dog, rather than the owner, on a walk?
If so, you’re my kind of person.
It turns out Marina Fogle – wife of Ben – is also my kind of person.
In an interview with The Times last week, she waxed lyrical about the benefits of kids growing up in muddy, mucky, furry, pet-infested homes.
“Don’t call my dogs filthy,” she implored.
“They’re gut microbiome enhancers!
“Life is enhanced by animals.
“Whether it’s the cultivation of bacteria that colonises our guts and boosts our immune systems, or the good vibes that come from living with a being that is generous with love and light on judgment, I’m not sure.”
Quite!
Nothing irritates me more than a young mum hysterical with fear about their indulged, Boden-wearing sprog petting a creature.
When I was a toddler, my mother was fastidious about sterilising my bottles and scrubbing my grubby little paws clean.
Until, that is, she found me sitting in the garden, digging up the dog’s bone and merrily gnawing on its remains.
From then on, Doris the cocker spaniel and I shared our bones.
Today I have the constitution of an ox.
Go figure.
AJ MORE BIG BABY THAN BIG BROTHER
FIERCE debate online over the weekend after AJ Odudu, a beautiful woman, inexplicably agreed to be dressed on national television in a beige nappy.
“AJ Odudu looks like she’s done a big poo-poo,” observed one poet, while another added: “Why is AJ wearing a giant adult nappy – who styled her in this monstrosity?”
Still, after being veritably eye-groped by sleazy misogynist Mickey Rourke, it’s one way of avoiding the male gaze . . .
PAPAL NO GO
KUDOS to the Pope for clinging on for Jesus’s special day, before news of his death was sadly announced yesterday.
But feverish speculation about his possible successor ran like a Grand National pullout: The runners n’ riders, their age, past form, and chances of success.
“Who will be the next Pope?”, ran one headline in bold, presumably stirring the loins of Paddy Power bosses.
“We could see the first black or Asian Pontiff, or the cardinal who called same-sex marriage a ‘defeat for humanity’; here are the contenders to replace Francis after his death at 88.”
Alas, no potential Popette appeared on any list.
Because, well, for a high church plagued by sex abuse scandals, that would obviously be WAY too progressive.
CELEBRITY Big Brother has now reached a new reality TV low.
Chris Hughes and JoJo Siwa dressed as cats, took it in turns to p*** in a giant cat litter tray.
In words I didn’t expect to write of a clement Easter Monday, the duo went all “method” and urinated in front of the cameras despite being yards from a human lav.
CBB producers have a feline fetish.
The stunt – blasted by viewers as “vile” and “horrific” – comes 18 years after former MP George Galloway pretended to be a cat and lapped milk from Rula Lenska’s palms.
What a world, eh?