Penn Badgley Talks Battle with Body Dysmorphia as a Child

Penn Badgley is opening up about battling body dysmorphia in his childhood.

The 38-year-old You and Gossip Girl actor says that he was never officially diagnosed by a doctor, but he knows that he struggled with negative thoughts about his body throughout his childhood.

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“I know that I hated my body and simply wanted a different one,” Penn told The Guardian, adding that he gained weight while dealing with his parents’ divorce.

Penn says that he wanted to look like the men he saw in movies and acknowledged “that just seemed like an impossibility.” He also discussed what it was like to become an actor himself.

“There was just a period where, coming out of depression and isolation, I was jumping willfully into, but also being thrust into, this world where the more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be, the more value I might have,” Penn said. “There’s no way to get past the superficiality of this work, and if you recognize that, you can’t help but recognize the superficiality of our culture, because of the way it rewards this work.”

Watch the trailer for season five of Penn‘s show You.