Trump Weighs 224 Pounds And Other Tall Tales Discovered After His Annual Physical
The most important criteria for working in President Trump’s White House is this one point that must never be forgotten: everyone must always praise the diet dictator.
When you mention him, you must lead with an accomplishment. You must always point out that he’s “bringing the economy back” or that “he actually did win the 2020 election.” And if you’re Trump’s doctor, you must submit a glowing health report, even if everything in it isn’t true.
So the man who still won’t release his 2019 taxes has released his physical, and if you were wondering, it’s a glowing review of a man who officially plays golf all day and does presidential stuff on the weekends.
Apparently, the jolly orange giant is in great physical shape due to his “frequent victories in golf events,” which shows his “excellent health” and “robust” neurological condition, White House physician Sean Barbabella wrote in a memo released Sunday and viewed by the New York Post.
“President Trump exhibits excellent cognitive and physical health and is fully fit to execute the duties of the Commander-in-Chief and Head of State,” Barbabella wrote.
There was no mention of the president’s McDonald’s fetish (it can only be considered a fetish when you go to the golden arches, don’t order fries and eat “two Big Macs, two Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, and a large chocolate shake”) or his love for well done steaks with ketchup.
The memo did note that the 78-year-old man who paints his face with melted crayons is just a well of health.
“His active lifestyle continues to contribute significantly to his well-being,” Barbabella added. “President Trump’s days include participation in multiple meetings, public appearances, press availability, and frequent victories in golf events.”
Trump was apparently most pleased with his cognitive test score because, for him, a man who many believe is several eggs away from a full carton, it proves he’s smart.
“I felt I was in very good shape. Good heart,” Trump told reporters after his exam. “I took a cognitive test. I don’t know what to tell you other than I got every answer right.”
“I think it’s a pretty well-known test. I’ve taken the test four times. I’ve got nothing wrong,” he said, referring to the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, the New York Post reports. “That’s what the American people want. Biden refused to take it. Kamala refused to take it.”
Trump is 6-foot-3 and reportedly weighs, get this, 224 pounds.
I will let the tweet below show you how and why this makes no sense:
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsCJ Stroud is 6'3 and 224lbs…
— The Dangerfeld (@theddangerfeld) April 13, 2025
You really think @realDonaldTrump is the same? #75inches224lbs pic.twitter.com/qTI6SdeCiv
Yeah, so, according to the report, Trump has lost some 19 pounds since his first term when he reportedly weighed 243 pounds. I don’t know what I believe. I think Trump may have pulled the ole “tariff tax” and inflated his weight during his first term so he could claim he dropped weight during his current presidency. Either way, Trump is technically considered overweight, but the body mass index is a terrorist.
The rest of Trump’s vital signs looked good as his blood pressure was 128/74, “which is elevated but not yet high blood pressure, per the American Heart Association,” the Post reports.
He takes two medicines for his cholesterol and has seasonal allergies, “…well-managed rosacea, actinic keratosis, benign nevi, diverticulosis and a benign colon polyp,” Barbabella said.
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