‘Still in shock’: Woman goes to Italy to be an au pair. Days later, she flees in the middle of the night

Arguably, working as an au pair in sunny countries like Italy is highly glamorized on TikTok. There are over 300,000 TikToks labelled with the #aupair hashtag. However, for TikToker Ella Katherine (@ellarkatherine), the fantasy of being an au pair in a foreign country was quite different from the reality.

The TikTok that sparked it all has amassed 19.9 million views. It depicts Katherine sneaking out of her host family's house at 5:43am. She then proceeds to document her time at the airport until she boards the flight.

Naturally, this video raised alarm bells for viewers, with many questioning if Katherine was in a dangerous situation. However, Katherine set the record straight in a five-part storytime. She began by explaining how she came to be an au pair.

What is an au pair?

According to AuPair.com, an Au Pair is a young person who lives with a Host Family from another country and supports the family with childcare in return for full board.

Katherine said she connected with the host mother via a non-agency website called 'Au Pair World.' The two then chatted on FaceTime, and two weeks later, she was on her way to Italy.

While there was no physical contract, Katherine said she and the mother agreed on an 85-day stay. Her job demands included waking up the host child, getting him changed, getting his warm milk, walking him to school, picking him up at 6, heating up dinner and then cleaning up after the meal. It was also unofficially stipulated that she had Friday afternoons and weekends off.

The 'red flags' explained

She said the first red flag occurred on the first day, with the host mother venting about her job. The second is the fact that the father spoke no English, meaning that the pair struggled to communicate. Despite this, the mother encouraged Katherine to go to the store with him. He then took the car to pick up the child from school. She noted that the dad then tried to heat up the child's dinner despite it being her job. Once the host mother arrived home, she told Katherine to bathe the host child: a job that she hadn't previously signed up for.

The second day began with the host father giving the child their milk. While he tried to show Katherine what her morning tasks should be, the language barrier, she explained, made things difficult. He then used the car again to take the child to school. Katherine said she was unhappy with this because she wanted to get to know public transport. Then, she returned home and took a two-hour nap until the host mother encouraged her to go out. Katherine noted that she felt "trapped" and "uncomfortable." The day ended with the father trying to show her how to make dinner, to no avail, and picking up the child in his car.

More discomfort

By the third day, the cracks started to show. The day began rather positively, with Katherine using public transport to take the child to school. Given that it was a Friday, Katherine then went to meet her friends. Upon her return, the host father gave the child their dinner and bath, leaving Katherine to read while the child played. However, when the mother arrived home, she was not happy about this. Katherine claimed the mother raised her voice at her, asking her why she wasn't feeding, bathing, or directly taking care of the child.

Things went downhill from there. Katherine described the fourth day as "the day that broke me."

Despite Saturday being a day off, she decided to spend the day with the host family so they could take her to visit Portofino, a popular tourist village. Her first annoyance of the day was the mother waking up late. The group then visited a town two hours away and sat on the beach, and Katherine remarked how the mother kept leaving her with the child and ignoring her despite it being her day off.

The mother then raised her voice again on the drive home, expressing her frustrations over how Katherine wasn't helping enough and wasn't "learning." When Katherine fell asleep in the car, she was reprimanded once again for not teaching the child English and playing with them during the journey.

It was that night that Katherine decided to leave, adding that the nature of the father's job, which she didn't disclose, made her uncomfortable. Ultimately, these aforementioned factors and her "bad gut feeling" prompted her to sneak out that night and fly home.

The videos sparked a backlash

While a select few comments were supportive, Katherine largely received a negative reception from commenters. Many of them argued that she was privileged and entitled, while others opined that her host family didn't do anything wrong.

"Anyone else come here thinking this girl was like in danger and ran for her life?" one commenter asked.

Another said to Katherine that it was "disrespectful to leave without saying anything, just bc u had the most unrealistic expectations of an au pair ever."

Watch on TikTok

"Omg!" a third exclaimed. "Girl. You are in another country and made no attempt to understand their culture. Mom is carrying the physical/emotional labor. You are an au pair. You are supposed to help."

Others took a more gentle approach. One commenter said, "Honey… I mean this in the sweetest way… I don’t think you were ready for this job… the mom getting upset was valid it’s YOUR job it’s why you’re there."

In a couple of follow-up videos, Katherine addressed the hate, noting that the first, most viral video had no context. She also shared that she texted the host mother once she was at the airport. However, she refused to disclose the mother's reply.

On allegations of being privileged, the TikToker said, "If privileged means I have a roof over my head, then I'm privileged."

She also acknowledged that she "definitely made some mistakes in that situation" and should have prepared more. She signed off by saying it was her "first time living" too, and that she's allowed to make mistakes.

Katherine didn't immediately respond to the Daily Dot's request for comment via TikTok comment and email. Au Pair World didn't immediately respond to the Daily Dot's request for comment via contact form.

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The post ‘Still in shock’: Woman goes to Italy to be an au pair. Days later, she flees in the middle of the night appeared first on The Daily Dot.