I had my first kiss at 30 & was a virgin until 33 – I faced criticism but never wanted to jump into bed with just anyone
THIS wife has told how her decision to remain a virgin until the age of 33 was deeply personal, shaped by her upbringing, faith, and a firm belief in what would lead to a fulfilling marriage.
Esther Gualtieri explained that she didn’t even kiss a man until she turned 30, with him being the person she intended to marry.
The 33-year-old from Oceanside, California, USA, was not interested in getting intimate until she was sure it was going to be her future husband.
She said: “I got married and had a good old honeymoon night. That’s all I can say. One and done.
“I committed to keeping sex for the context of marriage because of my understanding of those three areas. The probability of having a healthy, non-divorce marriage is much higher when you save sex for marriage.”
Esther told how her journey to this point was shaped by a deeply religious upbringing, and a belief that she would be better off keeping herself for just one man.
In fact, as a teenager, she even signed a purity card, committing to saving sex for marriage, and felt that she was not tempted despite other people her age starting to lose their virginity.
Esther believes that waiting for marriage is highly beneficial and leads to a happier and longer lasting relationship.
However, she recalled a moment at 25 while on a surf trip in New Zealand when she came closest to breaking her commitment after the advances from a surfer.
But realising that she didn’t want to let go of something she’d worked so hard to maintain, she said no.
Her first kiss was also something she waited for, until she was 30 as she didn’t want to kiss anyone who wanted to kiss her. She knew there was someone worth waiting for.
When she finally met her now-husband, their values aligned perfectly, with him being the one to bring up wanting to wait for marriage.
Despite seeing criticism for her life choices, Esther told how she is happy with the decisions she’s made, with waiting until 33 highly benefitting the bond and relationship her and her husband have.
She said: “I definitely grew up in a religious home. My parents were pastors, and I have four siblings.
“It was imposed upon us to wait for marriage. Not necessarily through direct conversation, at least, not for me, but through church messages and community beliefs.
“While there’s some truth and merit to it, as long as you believe in an absolute truth, it did a lot of harm as well.”
Esther revealed waiting so long to have her first kiss at the age of 30 wasn’t because she “didn’t have options” though.
“I just didn’t want to kiss any of the guys who wanted to kiss me,” she said.
“I wish I was a little more carefree, not to lose my virginity, but to just enjoy dating without worrying so much about whether every relationship was ‘the one.’
“I was living my life to the fullest in singleness and dating. I feel like I had the steadiest head on my shoulders. I didn’t have deep physical connections that I had to tear away from multiple times,” she explained.
Now, Esther said she feels “bonded” to her husband and can’t even sleep when he’s out of town because it feels like a part of her is missing.
“It’s so crazy how we went from dating and never having sex to now being married and having sex, I feel so bonded to him,” she explained.
“I’m grateful that my story is that I saved that beautiful moment for me and my husband. We’re better because of it.”
Bizarre dating rituals from around the world
China – Parents of single youngsters gather at weekend “marriage markets” where they swap details of their children. They put up posters with information on each singleton’s age, height, education, job, income, values and zodiac sign.
Japan – The modern way to date is in group blind dates called “gokon”. Typically, a single man and woman organise the gokon meeting, usually over dinner, and each invites three or four eligible friends.
South Korea – Singles meet in a practice called “sogaeting”, or blind dating. Family members or friends make the introductions, or sometimes matchmaking agencies are used. If a singleton likes someone, they must contact them immediately afterwards.
Iceland – The big dating worry for Icelanders — in a country of just 330,000 people — is accidentally romancing someone you’re related to. So there is a special app to see if you’re related. If you are on a date and both have the app, you can bump your phones together to discover any unwanted familial connections.
Latin America – As soon as you start dating someone, you are dating their family, too. From having to learn their language, to taking part in family events and traditions.
Myanmar – Young people often still live with their parents, whether they are single, in a relationship or even after they are married. For this reason, privacy is hard to come by.
Many new couples go to a nearby park with an umbrella that they use to kiss behind. As a result, umbrellas are seen as a very important accessory to own and are often expensive to buy.