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I wanted to have lots of kids. Now I think being the rich auntie is better for me.

  • Growing up in Georgia, I was certain I wanted to have six kids.
  • I was 13 when my first niece was born, and I helped take care of her.
  • Now I feel like maybe I don't want to have kids and just be their aunt.

Like most girls, I planned my life using MASH. I would be a lawyer, married to Diggy Simmons, with six kids, living in Georgia, and driving a BMW. I lived in Georgia for a while, so one out of five isn't bad. The game of Smash reflected the dreams of a young girl who didn't understand the complexities of the things she wanted.

I knew there was a slim chance of marrying my celebrity crush, though I still had hope. But six kids? That felt like a given. Growing up in a big family, I thought I'd recreate the same experience. I'd have my own household, and my children would have cousins to grow along with, as I did. That's just how things worked.

Helping my family raise their babies has changed my mind on parenting.

Then came my first niece

I was around 13 when my oldest brother and his girlfriend had their first child. She was a fiery but sweet baby girl, and her birth started my mother's second round of parenting. Suddenly, I wasn't just a kid in the house anymore — I was an active participant in raising a child.

I would regularly get asked, "Can you feed the baby?" or "Can you hold the baby?"

At first, it felt like an honor. Having a baby in the house was exciting. I loved how tiny she was, how cute she was, and how her giggles filled the room when I read her a book. But excitement wore off fast, and reality set in.

Babies don't wait until you feel like helping. They need, regardless of whether you're tired, busy, or just not in the mood. And while my brother was the parent, the responsibility never just rested on his shoulders. My family and I all rallied together and played a role, and at 13, I experienced firsthand how exhausting and relentless parenthood can be.

I realized I didn't want to be a young mother

Years passed, I went off to college, and by my sophomore year, and my sister had her first child. This time, I missed all the feedings, babysitting, and being an active village member. But when my second niece visited me one Easter, at 4 years old, she threw a tantrum in the Children's Museum. After some bribing, we were able to go home and have a peaceful night. At 23, if my age didn't confirm six kids by 25 wasn't happening, that tantrum did.

Then my sister had another baby, and she had to balance parenting an 8-year-old and a newborn. She once told me, "It's like I'm two different moms at the same time. One kid needs help with homework; the other needs a diaper change."

I don't know if I want to be a mom at all

I'm older now, and my answer changes all the time. I don't know if I want kids yet alone to give birth.

The shift is slow but real. It's not that I don't love children — I adore my siblings (how I call my nieces and nephews), all six of them. But I also see everything that comes with them. The sacrifices, the unpredictability, the responsibility that doesn't stop when they turn 18.

And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with the idea of being the Rich Auntie instead, which the girl niblings love to deem me as.

For now, I'm happy where I am — watching my niblings grow, being a part of their lives, and embracing the freedom that comes with my choice.

MASH may not have predicted this version of my life, but I love what I have shaped my life into.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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