Maybe Gen Z Has A Point? There’s A Completely Unnecessary Sex Scene In This List Of Weird German Foods
It’s easy to write off Gen Z’s demand for less sex in movies and TV shows as prude melodrama. But after seeing the gratuitous sex scene in this listicle about odd German foods…we can’t help but wonder if they’re onto something.
- Mettbrötchen
Literally just raw pork seasoned with salt and pepper, then spread on a roll, this culinary peculiarity is somehow popular across Germany, where it’s also known as Mett or Hackepeter—we prefer to call it “No thanks!”
Just a heads up, we were only allowed to release this list if we included “a little skin for the adult crowd.” That’s basically the only note we got on it, and it was a dealbreaker for the higher-ups here. So, yeah, the sex scene coming up later in this list was their idea, and we don’t blame anyone in Gen Z for feeling it’s gratuitous.
- Zungenwurst
‘Zungenwurst’ translates to ‘tongue sausage.’ Hmm. Wethinks enough said!
We’re not gonna hold it against anyone for saying we had zero justification for putting a full-blown sex scene in this fluff piece about strange foods German people eat. At this point, we haven’t even introduced any characters at all, let alone set up love interests. It’s not that we think a listicle should NEVER show romantic, consensual lovemaking. That’s all well and good when it’s called for. But this is an instance where we might have to agree with Gen Z.
- Rollmops
Pickled herring rolled around a pickle. Whatever the opposite of mouthwatering is, rollmops are that.
The sex scene is right around the corner, by the way. If you’re a Gen Z-er reading this listicle with friends or family who you’d be uncomfortable watching a sex scene next to, you’ve been warned. And no, it won’t seem any more justified by the article’s end. There’s really no reason it needed to be in this listicle at all, but, well, here we are, thousands of dollars in intimacy coordinator fees later.
- Toast Hawaii
…
It’s not even clear if those people are supposed to be German. But it was kind of tastefully done, we guess? Still, it ultimately feels more distracting than anything. The only way that sex scene would feel justified would be if sperm were a weird German snack. But it isn’t, as far as we know. We don’t mean to sound all puritan, but seeing two people have sex added nothing to the topic of nasty German delicacies. Gen Z, we hear what you’re saying, and we’re listening.
Anyway, Toast Hawaii is an open-faced sandwich made with ham, pineapple, and sliced cheese, and topped with a maraschino cherry—who invented this, a blindfolded toddler?! Germany, we love you, but stick to the pretzels and beer until your chefs learn how to be normal!