Dear Abby: When I gave a child a tablet, I didn’t intend to pay for the mom’s internet
DEAR ABBY: My husband’s daughter lives in another state. When COVID hit and the schools closed down, her youngest daughter didn’t own a laptop or tablet (and the school didn’t provide one), so she couldn’t do her schoolwork.
We offered to provide the child with a tablet and put it on our phone plan so she would have access if their Wi-Fi got bogged down or didn’t work.
Fast-forward to today. That child is out of high school and no longer lives at home. Her mom has possession of the tablet and uses it regularly.
I’m still paying for the internet access — what I’ve paid in just monthly fees is many times the value of the tablet. The mom has a good job and could take over the plan.
On top of that, she doesn’t make much effort to keep in contact with her dad or me. Months go by with no phone calls or texts, and the last time I dialed her number, I got a message that made it sound like she had blocked my number. Phone calls from her dad go unanswered.
I want to shut down the line the tablet is connected to, but I know when she figures it out, she’ll call raging that it was a gift. However, it was a gift to her daughter, not to her.
Must I keep paying to keep peace, or shut it down?
— MIFFED STEPMOM
DEAR STEPMOM: I can see why you might be miffed. Your husband’s daughter is distant and not interested in fostering a relationship with her father or you.
Discuss this with your husband. Because his daughter has a job and can afford to pay the monthly access fee, there is no logical reason why you should be footing the bill.
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for 3½ years. Before me, he was known for sleeping around.
He has never cheated on me that I am aware of, but when we go to social gatherings (or just out), he flirts with other women. If there is another woman in the room, he keeps his eyes on her like I can’t see it happening. When he drinks, it’s 10 times worse.
I’ve told him several times that it really bothered me; he said I was overreacting.
I’m trying to let it go, but it hurts my feelings deeply.
In his mind, it’s OK that we hang out with women he has been to bed with. He says it’s no big deal.
How do I learn to deal with all of this and be happy? I just want the respect I deserve.
— GIRLFRIEND OF MR. POPULAR
DEAR GIRLFRIEND: If you want the respect you deserve, find a man who has some respect for women. Clearly your boyfriend does not.
If he cared about your feelings, he wouldn’t ogle other women while the two of you are out together. Doing so after you told him how it affected you is rude and inconsiderate.
I know you have invested a lot of time in this person, but he isn’t going to change. Unless you want to perhaps be married to a womanizer with a drinking problem, end the romance now. (And once that’s done, ask your doctor to test you for STDs.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.