Becoming a parent in my 40s made me rethink my health. My daughter deserves a mom who is strong, present, and energized.
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- I became pregnant with my daughter when I was 42 and decided to start focusing on my health.
- I started exercising regularly, sleep became a non-negotiable, and began a mindfulness practice.
- Not only does my daughter deserve a healthy mom, but I deserve to be healthy, too.
I met my partner at 38, and given my age, we assumed kids weren't in the cards. So, when I unexpectedly became pregnant at 42, it was both a shock and a joy. In those first frantic years with an infant, however, I began worrying that my already exhausted energy reserves would dwindle further over the next few years.
It took a while, but I slowly started focusing more on my health. Here's what I did — and the surprising lessons I learned along the way.
I no longer take my health for granted
As a young single woman living for Saturday nights, I drank regularly, exercised sporadically, and avoided doctors unless absolutely necessary. Parenthood changed that.
In my 40s and now 50s, regular check-ups with my primary care provider and my gynecologist became a priority. I'll be honest — it took time to make them a habit. Fitting in routine health appointments can feel like one more task on an overloaded to-do list. And even in Europe, where I live, medical costs can add up.
But here's what I've since realized as a middle-aged mom: Prioritizing my health is about living better now, not just living longer. I used to accept running on empty as normal. As a parent, I see how it's a disservice to my daughter, especially when a simple check-up may help uncover a problem with an easy solution, like a vitamin deficiency.
For my 53rd birthday, I gifted myself a full medical check-up — including blood and urine tests for cancer, a mammogram, and, on my doctor's last-minute advice, a bone density test. To my surprise, that test revealed I have osteoporosis, which finally explained the muscle aches and fatigue I'd put down to a busy life. Now, I take prescription calcium and tailor my exercise toward building bone strength and energy.
Good health isn't just physical; it affects our mood. When I feel good, I'm more present for my daughter, and I truly enjoy our time together. That, more than anything, makes keeping my health on track worth the effort.
Regular exercise is now a must
Once I became a parent, I was determined to exercise more. But after too many missed Saturday morning rumba classes, I started to find easier ways to incorporate it into my daily routine.
For starters, I walk everywhere and track my steps, aiming for 5,000—7,000 daily. I've always loved swimming, so once my daughter started school, I committed to at least one morning swim a week. Since hitting menopause, I've also added weight training to my routine, although on busy weeks, this sometimes means simply wearing a weighted vest on my walks.
In my younger years, I admit I worked out for a summer "beach body." Now, my fitness goals are all about stamina, strength, and energy. My main motivation is to be there for my daughter right now as much as when she grows into her teens and adulthood.
Sleep is non-negotiable
I've always been more of a morning person, but this didn't stop me from mindlessly scrolling until 2 a.m. or going for mid-week drinks that ended after midnight.
When my daughter was a baby, sleep became sacred. Then, as she grew, I made the effort to clock in at least 7-8 hours of shuteye. I saw pretty quickly that if I didn't, I'd be crankier, less patient, and certainly less able to handle her complaints, worries, or endless plotless stories involving something this friend said to that friend!
By making sleep a non-negotiable, I can manage my day more efficiently while showing up as the parent she deserves.
I prioritize mindfulness practices
After a C-section under general anesthesia and a post-surgery blood clot, I was anxious and agitated in my first weeks of motherhood. Meditation and kundalini yoga helped me regain calm, and I've incorporated mindfulness practices into my life ever since.
Like many teen girls today, my now-13-year-old daughter often feels anxious, so I've shared several mindfulness techniques with her, and they've definitely helped. Equally important, they've strengthened our bond. Being able to step back and reset when either of us gets frustrated has defused more situations than I can count.
The bottom line is this: My daughter deserves a mom who is strong, present, and energized, no matter her age. As an older mother and woman, I deserve to feel my best, too, so I can fully enjoy motherhood both now and in the future.