ANALYSIS: Law Firm's Deal To Placate Trump Means Doug Emhoff Might Have To Hire an Ugly Secretary
Liberals are fuming after Doug Emhoff's new law firm, Willkie Farr & Gallagher, cut a deal with President Donald Trump this week to eliminate diversity programs and provide at least $100 million worth of pro bono legal services to Trump-favored causes. Emhoff, best known for marrying Kamala Harris after destroying his first marriage by getting the nanny pregnant, joined the white-shoe firm as a partner in January.
Emhoff "deserves scorn, as does Kamala Harris," Matt Stoller, a progressive activist and former Bernie Sanders aide, wrote in response to the announcement of the deal, which mirrors the agreements previously announced between the Trump administration and other major law firms in response to executive orders threatening their access to lucrative government contracts. Stoller later deleted his post.
"Willkie Farr's capitulation to Trump is absolutely shameful," said Molly Coleman, the executive director of the People's Parity Project, a left-wing activist group. "Emhoff and other partners need to show they stand on the side of the rule of law by resigning—there's absolutely no other option."
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We don't really care about the liberal outrage, but we are concerned that the firm's commitment to scrapping DEI in favor of "merit-based" hiring practices could thwart Emhoff's efforts to hire an intellectually unqualified but physically stunning "trophy secretary" who excels at flirting with older men. Trump announced on Tuesday that, in accordance with the agreement, Willkie Farr & Gallagher had affirmed "its commitment to Merit-Based Hiring, Promotion, and Retention" and vowed not to "engage in illegal DEI discrimination and preferences."
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Regrettably, this language could force Emhoff to hire a secretary who is qualified for the job but also ugly (or male) and therefore unable to flirt effectively or flaunt her physical attributes around the office, according to a Washington Free Beacon analysis. Merit-based hiring would mark a significant departure from Emhoff's demonstrated preferences in his capacity as a hotshot corporate attorney. As managing director of the Venable LLP office in Los Angeles, Emhoff hired Katya Calderone, a part-time model, to be his legal secretary. According to a sexual discrimination lawsuit filed against the firm in 2019, Emhoff chose Katya, who was "widely considered unqualified" for the job, because she was "young, attractive and friendly with the powerful men in the office." The name "Katya" eventually became an office code word for flirtatious trophy secretary.
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That is presumably why Emhoff urged the firm's leadership not to make a deal with Trump, according to the New York Times. Shortly before the details of the agreement became public, Emhoff appeared at a Georgetown Law School event where he denounced Trump's policies as a threat to "democracy" and called on lawyers to fight back against the administration's efforts to force them to hire ugly secretaries. At this point it is unclear if Emhoff will remain at the firm, which he joined in an obvious bid to hoard wealth before his wife (most likely) runs for governor of California in 2026.
It is also unclear how Emhoff's selfish objections to merit-based hiring will affect his standing among mainstream journalists. The second gentleman was widely praised as a "modern-day sex symbol" and adorable "wife guy" after Harris became the Democratic Party's nominee for president in 2024. MSNBC's Jonathan Capehart gushed that Emhoff was "taking a sledgehammer to toxic masculinity." The journalists didn't seem to mind that Emhoff wrecked his first marriage by seducing the nanny, or that he was credibly accused of assaulting an ex-girlfriend he suspected of flirting with another man, or that his former Venable colleagues described him as an "asshole" and a "misogynist" creep who "retaliated against" young female staffers who "didn't flirt back."
Most media coverage of Emhoff before and during the campaign highlighted the fact that his 25-year-old daughter, Ella Emhoff, is weird. The gender-defying scion landed a modeling contract with IMG Models just days after her stepmom was sworn in as vice president in 2021. Ivan Bart, the president of IMG Models, was a max donor to Kamala Harris's first failed presidential campaign. He also has ties to former Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel and Democratic megadonor Patrick Whitesell. Emhoff's daughter continues to make money by posting promotional content for various brands such as Fur Oil, a body hair moisturizer that she credits for making her feel "really accepted" for declining to shave her armpits.
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