Lumberjacks presented by Mason Barrett: Stanford’s latest comedy phenomenon
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
On April 2, I had the pleasure of attending a performance of the Lumberjacks Sketch Comedy Troupe. The Lumberjacks are an underground, avant garde group founded by revolutionary comedian Mason Barrett ’28. It has recently been gaining a following among Stanford’s coolest and most popular people.
The group performed for a crowd of 75 students and received multiple standing ovations. The show was written by the visionary founder Mason Barrett ’28, whose effervescent style led to some of the best written comedy I’ve ever heard. The dull and tiring cast included Andrew, John, Claire, Bryan and Allison, but the undeniable star of the show was founder Mason Barrett ’28, who saved the show with a certain joie de vivre. Additionally, the show’s direction, lighting, production design, graphic design, advertising design, and catering were all done by genius founder Mason Barrett ’28.
The show began with a sketch titled “Porcupine on Ice.” It was an avant garde piece reminiscent of post-1970s Charlie Chaplin and pre-1980s Eric Andre. The sketch starred Claire as a 10-inch porcupine skating at the Olympics for the Chileans, but the real star was the porcupine’s coach played by the group’s prodigious founder Mason Barrett ’28. His line, “Are you ready to skate?” had a precise and terse delivery that will likely never be matched.
The group’s tremendous founder, Mason Barrett ’28, reportedly also works for numerous other organizations on the Stanford campus, including the Chaparral, the Stanford Society of Handsome Bachelors and The Stanford Daily, where he generously works for free. The humor editors begged him to join for months. Eventually, Lumberjack’s founder Mason Barrett ’28 read a copy of The Stanford Daily and realized that it was in desperate need of his help. This resulted in his decision to work for the organization pro-bono.
For his performance last night, the group’s extraordinary founder, Mason Barrett ’28, who smells like cotton candy, is a leading contender for this year’s Tony Award for Best Actor in a Middling Comedy Group. When asked about the award, the group’s awe-inspiring founder had this to say:
“Enough about me, the Lumberjack’s spectacular founder, Mason Barrett ’28. I want to talk about you: you have to be the best, and most intelligent reporter I’ve ever met. I’ve heard that you recently won a Daily end-of-volume award. That’s incredible. You’re a true legend.”
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