White guy goes to the movies, reviews ‘LOTR’ and ‘Get Out’
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Let me tell you, cinema is something else these days. Have you seen “The Wolf of Wall Street”? That shit’s lit af. Easily my favorite film. I know all the corny film bros are out here stanning “A Clockwork Orange,”Let me tell you, cinema is something else these days. Have you seen “The Wolf of Wall Street”? That shit’s lit af. Easily my favorite film. I know all the corny film bros are out here stanning “A Clockwork Orange,” but I’m not basic like that. Plus, Margot Robbie’s feet aren’t in “A Clockwork Orange.” And hey, I can enjoy art too. Here are two movies that deserve a lock in instead of a Netflix and Chill sesh.
but I’m not basic like that. Plus, Margot Robbie’s feet aren’t in A Clockwork Orange. And hey, I can enjoy art too. Here are two movies that deserve a lock in instead of a Netflix and Chill sesh.
Get Out
I just watched Jordan Peele’s “Get Out” and man is it a masterpiece. Truly, the issue of crazy exes has not been explored nearly enough in mainstream cinema. I really saw myself in its characters and totally related to the plot. I dated this one girl and she gave total Rose vibes. I swear, if I stayed with her another day, she would have killed me. This other time, I was crawling out of some girl from Tinder’s window when her damn boyfriend ran at me with a baseball bat. If I’m being honest, I didn’t watch “Get Out”: I just read the Wiki synopsis. Doesn’t matter though: I really fw Chris’ struggle.
Lord of the Rings
Recently, I got my hands on a box set of “Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition” and I ate that up. Nothing like a good quest, some ale and lembas bread to bond with my homies. Not to mention the one scene where the archer guy breaks his toe on that rock. Metal as fuck. You can trust me on this one. I actually watched these films and soaked in every moment. “Lord of the Rings” is worth every hour. Also, it is a masterful study in diversity. Characters are tall, short, rich and poor. Some even have pointed ears. Plus, it totally passes the Bechtel test due to a little-known character named Freda. The ladies will love it too: it’s literally about jewelry.
With that, thanks for coming to the movies with me. RUSH KA!
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