Beware the bulldozers of March digging up the month’s 6 craziest stories
March has long had a Joan Jett-like "bad reputation," initially because of the assassination of Julius Caesar. That’s where many people get one of the few Latin phrases they know: "Et tu, Brute?" or roughly, "You too, Brutus?" This year, we also witnessed princesses with similar bad reps. The media career of wannabe Princess Meghan Markle took another hit with her lame Netflix home show. And Disney princess Rachel Zegler starred in the much-panned "Snow White" remake.
Living up to or down to that bad reputation gives us the first entry in our month of crazy:
1. Highway to Hell: The road to hell is literally paved with good intentions. When liberals hear the word Amazon, they think it’s a massive, important entity they want to destroy. No, I’m not talking about the Jeff Bezos-owned retailer. I’m talking about the South American jungle, near the site of the latest bogus climate change meeting.
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To satisfy the estimated 50,000 attendees at this year’s climate summit, Brazil carved an eight-mile highway through the jungle so they could drive to their destination, probably in gas-guzzling SUVs. They have called the jungle-wrecking road the Avenida Liberdade or Avenue of Liberty. More proof that climate do-gooders prefer you do good and they do well.
2. Choose your fighter: Video game fans have played countless versions of one-on-one fighter games, like "Street Fighter" and "Mortal Kombat." In a bid to improve their social media game, seven Democrat congresswomen were included in a brief video montage entitled, "Choose Your Fighter." The video featured prominent Dems appearing on screen with fists a-flyin’. The text below each "character" is certainly memorable – like "hates balloons" and "Not into hair dye." Among the self-owners were New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ("Trekkie") and Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett ("Not a morning person").
ABC News credited "a food and wellness influencer who attended the House Democrats' creators event" for creating the worst video of 2025 – so far. The result was so embarrassing that even CNN anchor Abby Phillip said it, "seems to be just inviting ridicule." If you’ve lost CNN, who do you have left?
3. Cheeto of power: The world’s campaign to separate foolish people from cash doesn’t always involve Vegas or March Madness betting. Sometimes, it’s the purchase of something simple like a Cheeto. According to the Associated Press, "A Cheeto shaped like the beloved Pokémon Charizard has sold at auction for a total cost of $87,840." The "3-inch long Flamin’ Hot Cheeto" had 60 auction bids. It’s not like ownership of the Cheeto imparts Charizard’s fire attack or even its flying ability. It’s just a stale Cheeto that cost as much as a house downpayment in much of the U.S. Tough to swallow.
4. Turtle time: Say turtles and I, and many Americans, start thinking about Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. We aren’t typically thinking about a mental health advisory board aiding the director of Oregon's Health Authority. Sadly, this is 2025 and JD Holt is one of the "consumers" on the panel. Holt has gone by "JD Terrapin" on Facebook, and apparently that’s not based on University of Maryland fandom. Holt declared during a Dec. 20 virtual meeting, "I use they, them and turtle for my pronouns."
Gender Wiki, the Wikipedia of made-up genders, includes references to "turtlegender" or even "tortoisegender" as having a special gender tie to turtles. Which I bet you were dying to know. This is Oregon, one of the lesser-known stops along the Yellow Brick Road. During a Dec. 17 meeting, another member claimed to be, "Luke A Shooting Star." Your tax dollars at work.
5. And speaking of turtles: If you fly anywhere (not with your Charizard), you’ve been through the TSA search. Maybe this story will make us all a bit more sympathetic to the TSA employees. A Pennsylvania man tried to smuggle a live, five-inch turtle through airport security by hiding it in his pants. Now, the only turtles I’m familiar with are Snapping Turtles and you definitely should not put them in your pants.
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Here’s where you might find just a tiny bit of sympathy for the TSA. According to AP, "The turtle was confiscated, and it’s not clear if the turtle was the man’s pet or why he had it in his pants." Thomas Carter, TSA’s federal security director for New Jersey had to respond to this on the record. Not terrorism, just turtles. "As best as we could tell, the turtle was not harmed by the man’s actions." If Elon Musk brings DOGE to New Jersey, Carter will have to declare turtle talk as one of his week’s achievements.
6. Journalist fight club: My quest to keep tabs on far-left "journalists" leads me to Washington Post columnist and former Global Opinions editor Karen Attiah. She’s ever active on the socials, blaming racism for most anything and even invoking astrology to indicate the fall of the U.S. empire. But she responded to a satirical post about "Faculty Fight Night," with the memorable line, "I would LOVE to do a media/journalism/writer fight night!"
In her own "lol" post on the subject, she added, "Maybe instead of the White House Correspondent's [sic] Dinner, we should just brawl for charity / support mutual aid." Now, that’s entertainment. Think of it, lefty CNN media defender Brian Stelter against rabid former sportscaster-turned TV host, turned whatever Keith Olbermann is now. Tell me you wouldn’t watch pay-per-view or bet on it if you could. (Sadly, my state refuses to allow us to bet on sports online.) In the words of our hero, Westley from "The Princess Bride," they should battle, "to the pain!"
Thanks, March, six examples of bad reps and so many people helping make it all happen. In the words of Jett’s banger of a song, "Bad Reputation," "An' I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation." Maybe it’s time some people in the media should start caring. Until they do, at least they can amuse us.