Keir Starmer chose Islam over mums – why didn’t he honour Mother’s Day before posting about Eid?
Follow King’s lead
WERE I to bother, I would absolutely, categorically be diagnosed with ADHD.
As would most of us in this day and age.
What I wouldn’t do is then get signed off sick for six months, and watch Netflix while my colleagues pick up the slack.
Yet this is what almost 17 million Brits are doing according to latest stats from the Department for Work and Pensions.
Almost 50 per cent of people say they suffer from mental health problems, and the number claiming benefits has risen by two million since the pandemic. Many of these are Gen Z.
It. Is. Pathetic.
Not only is this snowflakery giving a bad name to those who really DO suffer with mental health issues, it’s unfair to the rest of us paying for it.
King Charles, 76, is the other end of the scale: a man – one bravely battling cancer – so dedicated to his work, he was distraught at cancelling a couple of engagements last week after being admitted to hospital.
How despairing he must find all of this.
LOT OF HOT AIR
ANXIOUS times on Saturday night.
My colleague texted me with reports my pal Denise Welch had “vanished” in a hot air balloon, last spotted hovering somewhere over northern France. Kent police, they claimed, were looking for her.
Obviously, I felt this was fake news and promptly texted Denise, taking the mick.
Except her phone went to single grey tick, and I didn’t get an immediate response.
Cue mild panic, imagining her found at the bottom of the Channel, with detectives going through her phone and finding my callous messages.
Anyway, happily, she eventually replied – I’d been the first to alert her – and she realised that she was the victim of an utterly bizarre prank, and was trending on X.
Denise was forced to clarify she was alive and well, and not on a balloon, as memes quickly went viral, with stars including Lady Gaga and Mariah Carey in on the gag.
What a world.
BRITAIN’S most expensive coffee has gone on sale – £265 for a cup.
Obviously the ludicrous gimmick is being flogged to morons and rich Russians in Mayfair, at a coffee shop called Shot.
Which anyone who buys this thing deserves to be.
Surviving in the wild? Doesn’t sound like my Dora the (not) explorer
VALERIE the miniature dachshund is an unlikely survivalist.
The black and tan three-year-old has been missing in the Australian wilderness for 500 days and nights, battling wedge-tailed eagles, possums and wallabies.
The pup escaped her distraught (human) parents’ clutches during a camping holiday in 2023.
Valerie has since been repeatedly sighted, looking fit and well – and hopes of an imminent reunion are on.
Now, knowing the breed as I do, this entire story baffles me.
My miniature dachshund, Dora, wouldn’t last four minutes in the wild.
Bred on a diet of tuna in olive oil (she won’t eat it in water), steaks, sea bass, slivers of Cheddar (grade four strength is her preference), buttered mince and gently heated packets of posh organic dog food Butternut Box, she considers herself the Grace Dent of the canine world.
As a puppy, she was fed on a raw food diet – supposedly good for them – and once, when I proffered Morrisons chicken breasts, she haughtily turned her back and genuinely wouldn’t eat until I replaced them with M&S ones.
This, it should also be pointed out, is a pooch who must be carried in the rain, wears an assortment of made-to-measure fleeces in winter, sleeps only in 500-count White Company bed linen (my bed) and basically won’t walk below or above temperatures of 15-23 degrees.
Much like her mother, a survivalist she is not.