Asking Eric: Should I ask my neighbors about their disconcerting habit?
Dear Eric: We have a good relationship with our neighbors. They’re friendly, and we’re mutually available for the proverbial cup of sugar and to look out for each other’s properties.
We always share a wave and a smile, but we do not socialize together so there is no pressure to make the relationship more or less than it is.
The neighbors have a fenced-off yard and multiple dogs. Our property is not fenced, and we have no animals.
For some reason, when the dogs need to do their business, the neighbors bring them on leashes to our front yard. Their door is near our yard, but they have to walk through their own yard to reach ours.
The neighbors clean up the solid messes, but we can’t figure out how our yard became the designated litter box.
The dogs are not friendly, so they spend no other time on our property and would have no reason to be more comfortable here.
It seems simultaneously necessary and frivolous to bring this up at the risk of upsetting the Goldilocks relationship we’re grateful for.
What would you do? Ask why? Request to stop? Close the curtains and meditate?
– Perplexed, Not Pissed
Dear Perplexed: It’s very peculiar that you’ve been designated the answering service for when nature calls. But one of the benefits of this Goldilocks relationship may be that it’s low-stakes and convivial enough to withstand a small request.
Honestly, it seems like more work to leash the dogs and take them out than for your neighbors to let them go in a spot in their own yard.
The suspicious Gladys Kravitz in me thinks that they know that pet waste residue can make for an unpleasant yard experience sometimes and are purposefully offloading that experience to you. But let’s just assume the best – maybe it hasn’t occurred to them.
So, ask them to find another place where the dogs can relieve themselves. This could prompt an explanation from them – which you can choose to accept or not – but ideally, they’ll set up a home office for the dogs to do their business.
Dear Eric: I am having some trouble with keeping up my grades at school.
I feel like it’s because of my job and working five days a week but it feels like I cannot tell anyone that. If I tell my parents, they’re going to want me to quit my job and work on my schoolwork more, but I am just not ready to give up my privilege of making my own money.
In the past, I had to quit my job due to the same reason, so I’m just nervous they’re only going to see that and not the effort I’ve been trying to make to succeed in my classes.
I don’t know if I should ask my job to take me off some days or just stick with the schedule I have. It’s affecting my emotions and my happiness and most of all the energy I have throughout the week.
I want to make sure I get good grades in high school so I can pursue the future I want. But I also want to be able to buy my own things and have my own money. What can I do?
– Overworked
Dear Overworked: It shows so much maturity that you’re thinking about solutions to this problem. I wish I’d had this level of foresight when I was in school.
The way you’re approaching this also shows growth from your last work experience; your parents will be proud.
The best course of action right now is to talk to your job about reducing your work hours. Hopefully, they’re understanding and can accommodate you. But if they’re not, this may not be the right job for you at this moment. That’s just fine. This might be an opportunity to look for a job that better enables you to balance everything.
Holding down a five-day-a-week job can be hard in high school. You’re to be commended for trying. You’re learning valuable skills like time management, organization and prioritization. This will help you in college and beyond. But your schoolwork is crucial here and you don’t want to miss out on educational opportunities for more immediate benefits.
Buying your own things and having your own money is important, too. We all want that. Talk to your parents about advice or help with budgeting. That’s a valuable skill that they should be happy to teach you.
I think you’ll find that, even with reduced work hours, a smart budget can help you get the things you want without overtaxing you to the point that you can’t enjoy them once you’ve bought them.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.