My beautiful, healthy daughter died months after being diagnosed with cancer with ‘easy-to-dismiss’ symptoms
EVERY time Liz Holmes looks at Nero the dog, she’s reminded of her best friend and daughter.
For laughter-loving yoga teacher Louise Adams adopted him from a rescue centre after getting the all-clear for ovarian cancer.
But in a cruel twist of fate, the cancer not only returned but spread.
Just nine months after her initial diagnosis, Liz’s daughter passed away peacefully at their home in Bonnybridge, near Falkirk, in Scotland. She was just 43.
Liz, a retired horse riding school owner, tells Sun Health: “I remember holding her hand.
“I said, ‘Au revoir and safe journey’ and told her we were going to meet again because I didn’t want it to be so final, but it was definitely the wrong order of things.
“You’re thinking, ‘It should have been me.’ You feel guilty. It’s cruel and unfair.
“In less than a year I lost my only child and absolute best friend.”
Five years on, Nero and Louise’s beloved horse, Woody, who lives in Liz’s neighbouring stable block, are constant reminders of the joy Louise spread.
For Liz, 71, Louise’s memory is alive in everyday conversations with friends.
But she also wants Louise’s story to encourage others not to let unusual symptoms go unchecked, whatever their age.
Two years before Louise’s diagnosis Liz remembers she had such chronic stomach cramps, she stopped the car for Louise to be sick.
Back then, in 2017, the most likely explanation was a bad period or the onset of perimenopause because she was also suffering from bloating and ongoing painful but regular periods.
Two years later, in July 2019, Louise called Liz sounding even more distressed.
Liz says: “I remember she said, ‘Mum, I’m in a lot of pain.’
“It came on suddenly during the relaxation part at the end of her yoga class.”
When Louise showed up at her GP bent double, it was assumed she had irritable bowel syndrome.
She was given a pethidine injection and sent home with Buscopan, an over-the-counter IBS medication.
Later that night the pain came back even more intensely.
Liz, who lived just 10 minutes up the road, drove over. Much to her horror, she could see that Louise was bringing up black vomit.
She was taken by ambulance to Forth Valley Royal Hospital in nearby Larbert. Liz was thinking it could be appendicitis.
The news they were given after Louise, then 42, had numerous blood tests and scans couldn’t have hit harder.
It was like a horror movie. She was screaming and crying because it was so distressing
Liz Holmes
“They had found a mass on her right ovary. One of the doctors came out and said, ‘It could be ovarian cancer’,” says Liz.
“Hearing that was like somebody giving you an electric shock. That was exactly how it went through my body because I just didn’t expect that. That was the last thing I thought it could be.”
Confusingly, a week later, the diagnosis was contradicted by another consultant who told Louise: ‘You’ve got the all-clear. It’s not cancer.’
“We really didn’t know what to think but there seemed to be a lot of uncertainty about whether she did or didn’t have it,” Liz says.
It wasn’t until four months later, in October 2019, that Louise finally got a formal diagnosis after having surgery to remove the mass.
She had stage 1C2 mixed clear cell, endometrioid, ovarian cancer.
Liz recalls: “Louise was much calmer than I expected, and almost like she was resigned to the fact that’s what it was. Maybe she had an inkling.”
‘Stimpy the stoma’
The extent of the tumour had been really hard to see before that operation because there was an apron of fluid-filled sacs – some kind of infection caused by the cancer – sitting in front of it and hiding it.
She had been given a full hysterectomy to remove her womb, but surgeons were also unexpectedly forced to remove part of her bowel – meaning Louise suddenly needed a temporary stoma which could be reversed after she’d healed.
Liz says: “She was told the prognosis was good but the stoma was absolutely traumatic because she wasn’t prepared for that.
“She didn’t know it was going to make noises and leak. It was like a horror movie.
“She was screaming and crying because it was so distressing at first. It really affected her mental health too.
“It was only when we got lots of support from a friend who’s a nurse that she calmed down a bit.”
As Louise – who had also gone through an amicable divorce that year – came to terms with her new life, her humour kept them all going.
“She even called her stoma ‘Stimpy’ from the Ren and Stimpy cartoons,” laughs Liz.
The future began to look up.
“It wasn’t a case of being in remission because they got everything out,” she adds.
“They’d got all the cancer removed. So when she went for the checkup, she was told, cancer free, Go live your life. And that was it. It was a huge relief.
“For Louise, it was the beginning of a new era, a new chapter, and she was dying to get back to her yoga, because she’d been training even in the hospital, sitting in the hospital chair, you know, getting fitter.”
The following month, in November 2019, she adopted a rescue dog called Nero – a Bullmastiff X Rhodesian Ridgeback – from an Edinburgh-based charity.
“Nero was basically her recovery. He was there to help get her fitness back,” Liz says.
Together, they’d go for endless walks through nearby woodlands. To Liz, Louise was looking well.
Tragically, her recovery didn’t last long. Within months, there were warning signs that the cancer may be back.
OVARIAN CANCER - KEY FACTS
IN the UK, around 7,500 women are diagnosed with ovarian cancer each year, according to Ovarian Cancer Action.
- Currently one woman is diagnosed with ovarian cancer every hour in the UK.
- *Women have a two per cent chance of getting ovarian cancer in their lifetime.
- A woman has a 95 per cent chance of survival when diagnosed early, more than double the average ovarian cancer survival rate.
- It is the sixth most common cancer in women in the UK.
- On average 82 per cent of UK ovarian cancer cases are diagnosed in women over the age of 50.
- 45 per cent of those with ovarian cancer survive beyond five years.
- 20 per cent of ovarian cancers are related to hereditary gene faults.
Louise began falling over in the neighbour’s field while walking Nero.
At home in her flat, she lost her balance and fell while going to pick up an Amazon delivery, blurting out to the confused driver, ‘I’ve got cancer!’
A small, pea-sized bruise also appeared on the small of her back. Within days it was starting to protrude and the size of a 10 pence piece.
More MRIs confirmed her and Louise’s worst fears.
Liz says: “I remember looking at the scan images and thinking, ‘My god, I’m seeing all these white, bright specks everywhere.’
“The cancer had spread, very quickly, to her bowel, liver, breast and brain and pelvic cavity.
“She was given months to live at that point, which later came down to weeks and days. That was quite traumatic.
“There was a part of me in denial. For Louise, it made her value her body all the more. I remember her saying, ‘I’ll never complain about my weight again if I get through this’.
“She had a great sense of humour too. She asked my partner to buy her a gold BMW when she was clear of cancer to celebrate.”
Never take the minutes you’ve got with somebody for granted either. There’s this gaping hole in my soul that can never be filled
Liz Holmes
On March 13, 2020 – shortly before lockdown – she had her first dose of chemotherapy.
Less than two days later she was writhing in agony.
Readmitted to hospital she was told she had bowel adhesions – bands of scar tissue causing organs and tissues in the abdomen to clump together.
She was due for radiotherapy treatment too – but missed her first appointment because she was still in hospital managing her pain.
Within a week, she was a shell of the smart, poetry-writing, chatterbox that Liz had raised.
“After one chemo session she had lost the use of the right hand side of her body and was fully dependent on us,” Liz says.
“We had a bed for her in our living room and got help from ‘hospice at home’ and care in the community.”
In her final weeks, before she lost her ability to speak, Louise started organising the perfect send-off.
She had tattoos of some dragonflies on her back that she had wanted.
“She planned her own funeral, with her favourite Whitney Houston song, Higher Love, and I chose a hit from when she was born – Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder,” Liz says.
“On April 1, she took a call from a consultant who told her she only had days to live.
“She still kept her humour. She was so disappointed that she wouldn’t live to see the Red Dwarf special airing on TV, which she loved!”
Even after her passing – on April 7, 2020 – Louise had the last laugh.
“She went peacefully,” Liz says. “In the weeks before she told me, ‘Put me on a beach, any beach’, so we took her ashes to West Sands Beach St Andrews – the town she was born in.
“But just as I was scattering the ashes out near the tide the winds changed and I ended up with ash all over my clothes.
“We laughed at that because Louise would have seen the funny side!”
LIZ’S URGENT PLEA
Today, Liz’s message to others is: “Get checked and checked again if you need to.”
While ovarian cancer is more common in women over 50, it doesn’t preclude younger people, or ones who don’t tick every symptom.
“She never complained of being tired and she got back pain but not until much later on,” says Liz.
“You have to go with your gut feeling and if something doesn’t feel normal you must get seen to.
“If you’re not happy you have to go back again and pester and fight your corner – especially if you’re young and look well, because then you’re probably even more likely to get sent away.
“The whole time scale – from Louise being diagnosed to dying – was just nine months. So never take the minutes you’ve got with somebody for granted either.
“There’s this gaping hole in my soul that can never be filled.
“My partner Will and myself will always be left wondering, ‘Why?’ and not a day goes by when I don’t think of her.”
SYMPTOMS TO LOOK OUT FOR
THERE are four main ovarian cancer symptoms:
- Persistent bloating (it doesn’t come and go)
- Difficulty eating or feeling full more quickly
- Needing to pee frequently or urgently
- Pain around your tummy or the top of your thighs
These can also be symptoms of other, less serious, conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome, ovarian cysts and polycystic ovary syndrome.
If you’re experiencing these symptoms it doesn’t necessarily mean you have ovarian cancer.
While not officially recognised, other ovarian cancer symptoms might also include:
- Back pain
- Indigestion
- Changes in bowel habits (going more or less often)
- Unexplained weight loss
- Post-menopausal vaginal bleeding
- Extreme tiredness
If something feels off with your body, talk to your doctor as soon as possible.