I’ve seen how fierce Alesha Dixon is about her kids – I’ll never forget what she accused me of but I don’t blame her
TO the outside world, it may seem strange to carry on living with your ex when you can afford not to.
But that is what Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon is doing after The Sun exclusively revealed this week she has split from dancer Azuka Ononye, her partner of 18 years.
The pair have made the decision to remain in the same house so they can co-parent their two daughters, Azura, 11, and five-year-old Anaya.
This is the same choice that TV host Paddy McGuinness and ex-wife Christine made when they broke up in 2022.
It is certainly an odd living arrangement — but it comes as little surprise to me after I witnessed first-hand how fiercely protective Alesha, 46, is of her family.
I met her at a star-studded hotel launch in CBeebies Land at Alton Towers theme park in 2017.
Having said hello earlier at breakfast, I asked for a picture of us all together for the review I was writing.
But I was left stunned when Alesha wrongly accused me of taking images of Azura, then three, on a ride, when I was in fact taking pictures of my own kids as they waited.
She stomped off as I was protesting my innocence and offering to hand over my mobile to put her fears at rest. Her partner Azuka looked red-faced and quickly apologised before running after her.
Of course, Alesha was more than entitled to turn down my request — the same as any parent — but it goes to show how she is like a lioness when it comes to guarding her kids.
I do not bear any grudge about her over-reaction, either. Like me, Alesha became a mum in her thirties, which comes with the maturity of realising that not everyone’s intentions in life are innocent.
And who can blame Alesha for putting her kids first, especially after her own trauma-filled childhood.
The former singer has long campaigned against domestic abuse after watching her mum Beverly being attacked by her violent partner after she split from Alesha’s dad Melvin when Alesha was four.
She said: “It was awful to see that happening to my mum, and there’s nothing worse as a child than not being able to protect the person you love most in the world.
“You go into the world fearless when you come from a loving, supportive, secure family environment. But if you come from a dysfunctional family where you see aggression, violence and upset, then as a child you are going to take on a lot of those feelings yourself.
“When it’s over, it’s almost like you have to stitch yourself up again.”
Alesha revealed the abuse in 2010 when she presented her BBC documentary Don’t Hit My Mum.
She said in the film: “When I was eight, my mum’s partner at the time started to emotionally and physically abuse her.
“She’d give my brother and I excuses for the bruises and black eyes and sometimes we would hear the arguments and fights from the stairs.
“As a child I often felt helpless in the knowledge my mum was being abused. To the outside world life went on as normal and we smiled, put a brave face on it and carried on.”
Alesha’s trauma means she has worked extra hard to give her own children stability, which is no doubt a major factor in her decision to carry on living with Azuka, 44.
The couple share a £1.5 million, three-bed house close to her home- town of Welwyn Garden City in Hertfordshire.
The Sun exclusively reported this week how they decided to part after telling pals they had become more like friends than lovers.
A source told us: “They are still living together for the sake of their family and are co-parenting.”
In November, Azuka was seen at the Lon- don premiere of movie Wicked with the couple’s oldest daughter, while Ale- sha stayed away.
She also appeared to be hiding her left hand in pictures and was spotted without her wedding band in a Britain’s Got Talent publicity shot in October.
Yet despite the pair’s problems, friends say Alesha is steadfastly determined to give her kids stability.
In a rare interview about her parenting in 2022, Alesha said: “If you choose to have children, you are their first introduction to the world.
“I make a very conscious effort that my daughters have a very loving, supportive home with two parents who are great role models. I feel a sense of responsibility.”
Psychologist Jo Hemmings says it is not unusual for those who have gone through trauma as kids to want to make things as happy as possible for their own children.
Who is Alesha Dixon's ex partner Azuka Ononye?
ALESHA Dixon has split from her long-term partner and father to her kids, Azuka Ononye. Yet who is he?
Azuka Ononye was born December 14, 1980 and is best known for his work as a dancer, creator director and choreographer.
He has worked with the likes of Sade, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Duffy, Pixie Lott, Estelle, Ashanti and Cheryl to name a few.
Azuka’s advertising credits include major brands such as Guinness, Captain Morgan, Nokia, T-Mobile, Specsavers, Superdrug, ESPN, Sky, DFS and Argos and many more.
Alesha and Azuka got married in 2017 after meeting on tour.
The ceremony was a quiet and private.
They were married 11 years after first crossing paths in 2006.
Alesha’s team hired Azuka as a dancer for her tour.
She said: “Having grown up seeing her mum psychologically and physically abused, and yet not being able to protect her, Alesha seems to have a fierce determination that she’s going to give her children the opportunity to see what two loving, respectful parents can be like to live with, even if they may no longer be in love with each other.”
Alesha shot to fame with girl band Mis-Teeq in 2001 and the group enjoyed a series of hits including Scandalous and All I Want.
LIONESS MUM
She married So Solid Crew rapper MC Harvey in 2005. But their relationship exploded a year later when Harvey had a fling with singer Javine Hylton while they were starring in the West End musical Daddy Cool together.
They were caught when Javine’s ex, Karl Gordon, noticed Harvey’s car outside her home and alerted Alesha.
The Britain’s Got Talent judge later said she felt “lost and empty” when the marriage fell apart.
She told Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: “I didn’t eat for a few days. I just remember sitting on the floor in my house.
“I felt lost. I couldn’t find the words. You ask yourself these questions — Why? What had I done wrong?”
But Alesha put the heartache behind her to win Strictly in 2007 before being invited on to the judging panel — a move that opened the way for her role on Britain’s Got Talent.
Alesha is believed to have met Azuka when he worked as a backing dancer in 2006.
They have been very private when it comes to their relationship but are said to have married in a secret ceremony in 2017.
Their new living arrangement is similar to that of Christine and Paddy, who share a seven-bedroom home in Cheshire with their 11-year-old twins Leo and Penelope and eight-year-old daughter Felicity, despite breaking up following 11 years of marriage.
But, Christine is now said to be desperate to sell their £6.5million property to make a clean break from Paddy after he made a joke on tour about their relationship.
He told an audience: “Tonight folks we’re all here as human beings with one common goal — and that’s to help me pay for my divorce.
“I’ve had the pants down, me, the pants down.”
STAYING UNDER ONE ROOF TAKES TOLL
By Sally Land, The Sun’s Agony Aunt
WITH 2.5million children in the UK growing up without a father figure at home, it is encouraging to see Alesha and Azuka making a real effort to ensure both parents remain actively involved in their children’s lives.
Plenty of mums and dads who are miserable in their relationship pledge to stay together “for the kids” while underestimating the damaging impact that growing up in an unhappy household can have on children.
Even couples who make a determined decision not to fight and argue often live with simmering resentment, which children pick up on.
Going to see a therapist is most valuable, not because they show you how to rebuild your relationship, but because they can help you separate with dignity and compassion in a way where your children are put first.
The most important thing here is that Alesha and Azuka are clearly focused on their children’s wellbeing.
But if living together starts to take its toll – and that point is likely to come when either of them finds a new partner – it is important to stress that it is possible to be loving and supportive parents even if you are no longer living together.
If you are worried about anything in your life, you can email me and my team of counsellors on deardeidre@ the-sun.co.uk.
Psychologist Jo says that despite the good intentions, co-habiting can have many problems — especially when one of the parents goes on to meet someone new.
Alesha is understood to be single and is enjoying time with friends, including girlie breaks to spas and a recent holiday in Jamaica, where pals say she loves the anonymity.
Jo said that remaining under the same roof could work “for a while” but added: “So often, old behaviours creep in or one person meets another partner.
“It can become really difficult, especially if one has lingering feelings for the other. Jealousy, confusion, hurt and resentment are possible and that creates a toxic environment for children to grow up in.
“Overall, unless for very special reasons or financial difficulties, I feel that an honest, clean break with age-appropriate advice and reassurance to children is the better way to go.”
The question is whether Alesha and Azuka, both still in their prime, can navigate any future relationships and still put family first.
Only time will tell.