To Change the World, You Must First Change Yourself

When I first told my friends I was spending a year improving my personality, many of them were appalled. I shouldn’t focus on changing myself, they argued. I should focus instead on changing society—or, as one friend argued, I should focus on fighting the patriarchy, the real source of all our problems.

I agree that the patriarchy is bad, and that it now seems more virulent than ever, along with a slew of other problems. Every time I look at my phone, I see numerous issues that merit urgent attention: climate change, the creep of authoritarianism, income inequality, and the erosion of reproductive rights, to name just a few. But despite all of these issues, I believe people can and should still prioritize self-improvement and personal growth. It’s a good time to change yourself, even if you feel like the world is on fire.

I was pursuing personality change because, according to research, doing so can make you happier— people who rank higher in traits like conscientiousness, extraversion, and emotional stability are more successful and content.

The reality is that most of us have much more control over our own lives and behaviors than we do over the actions of policymakers or the president. While it’s good to get involved politically, frustrating and disappointing things will probably continue to occur. “Things happen that you don’t like” was my meditation teacher’s refrain.

Of course, this isn’t the first time that, in the face of overwhelming global events, it’s felt tempting to do nothing. A few years ago, it became fashionable to argue that it’s impossible to function “under capitalism.” But as the writer Clare Coffey pointed out, “any serious attempt to topple capitalism would require more discipline, more courage, more endurance, more capability, not less.”

The same applies for those attempting to resist Trumpism now. Changing the way you respond to adversity can both improve your life and make you more effective when you do try to take on systemic change.

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Living through a time of tariffs, deportations, and government layoffs is anxiety-inducing, but shifting the way you react to these types of stressors can make you less anxious and better able to adapt when misfortune inevitably comes for you. Some of the techniques to become less neurotic involve thinking about looming threats more realistically, savoring the good things about life, and acknowledging that positive outcomes are still possible. These kinds of mindset changes can help loosen the grip of anxiety so that you can better take action.

And what will those actions be? Perhaps, if you’re a laid-off federal worker, it will mean looking for a job in a new industry or sector. Maybe it will be calling your representatives, attending peaceful protests, or organizing in your community. But all of those steps first require mental health and fortitude.

Volumes of research have shown that people who have higher well-being—who are happier, or less anxious—are better at whatever it is they set out to do. One 2021 study that followed nearly a million U.S. Army soldiers over five years found that the happiest among them won four times as many awards for performance or heroism as the unhappiest, even when controlling for a range of demographic characteristics. They were more effective because they felt better.

Those who oppose Trump are facing a long four years. But we can’t fight for the changes we want if we’re falling apart. Now is the right time to strengthen our inner resolve as much as our outer determination. Psychological research suggests that agency—the sense that you can create a positive difference in the world, or at least in your life—is linked to reduced levels of depression and helplessness. “Agency causes progress,” the positive-psychology pioneer Martin Seligman has said, while “lack of agency causes stagnation.” Agency imbues you with the sense that you can do something about your problems.

I noticed the invigorating nature of agency while conducting my own personality experiment. As I became more comfortable with outgoing activities like improv class, I started to fear them less, and I even relished them a little. I grew less intimidated by work assignments that required me to speak publicly or to perform in front of crowds. I started to believe that I could handle most things. I grew so confident and hopeful, in fact, that after years of indecision, I finally decided to try to have a baby (and did so.) I would have preferred to give him a perfect world—but instead, I gave him this one.

Things will happen that we don’t like, but we can still live in a way that we do like—and tackle whatever it is we deem most important. In all likelihood, Gandhi never actually said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” The closest he came was to argue that, “As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” For those seeking to change their own natures, you need not wait for a better world.