I moved to England after falling in love abroad. I was miserable, we split, and I left — but I'd do it again on a few conditions.

• I'm an American girl from Hawaii who fell in love with a British boy while studying in London.
• We started a long-distance relationship, and then I moved to England so we could be together.
• Six months later, I left feeling I'd over-romanticized the idea of moving abroad for love.

I've always been obsessed with love stories.

Growing up, I devoured every Disney princess movie and romantic comedy I could find, longing for my own happy ending. I fell in love quickly and often, hoping each time that it would finally be with my forever person.

When I decided to spend my last semester of college studying abroad in London, I romanticized the experience in a different way. I was excited to explore the city's rich history, travel across Europe, and make new friends.

I had no intention of entering a romantic relationship — but the moment I stopped looking for love, it found me.

The start of our romance felt like magic

My arrival in London was a whirlwind of navigating culture shock, city life, fresh faces, and an unfamiliar campus.

Barely two weeks in, I went out to a bar with a group of women from my study-abroad program and met the man I would fall in love with.

We had an instant connection on the dance floor, which led to spending the rest of the night together. We started talking daily and had our first date a week later.

Weekly outings turned into overnights, then entire weekends. He invited me to meet his family in his hometown, where we expressed our love for the first time.

We took our first of many international trips together and visited Milan, where we ate gelato, drank fine wine, and danced by the canal. During this time, I solo traveled frequently while he stayed in London awaiting my return.

When my study-abroad program ended, I moved my belongings into his flat and spent a month traveling around Europe — a graduation present from my parents — until it was time to fly home to Maui.

I soon realized moving abroad for love wasn't the fairy-tale I'd been dreaming of

I never expected to leave London in a long-distance relationship, but our connection had enchanted me.

We set a date for him to visit me in Hawaii and found a rhythm of exchanging messages and video calls despite the 11-hour time difference.

A few weeks into this routine, he asked me to return to England on a six-month tourist visa so we could be together. I accepted, ecstatic about going back to the country where we fell in love.

But this time, my destination wasn't London. Instead, I moved to Hastings, a seaside town where the last interesting thing to happen there was probably the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

I explored the entire place in two days, and boredom quickly set in.

Since I was on a tourist visa, I couldn't work. I was a recent college graduate with no savings, so I didn't have money for outings or even a pint at the local pub. I felt isolated and relied on my partner for housing and social interaction.

Most days, I stayed in the flat watching Netflix and playing video games until he got home. My main recreation became grocery-store runs, walks in the park, and occasional trips out of town.

I tried starting various creative projects but was left feeling unfulfilled. Making dinner each night became my only sense of purpose.

Each day blurred into the next, and I sunk deeper into a depression that I didn't recognize until it had already swallowed me whole.

In retrospect, it hit me: I was an unemployed, stay-at-home girlfriend — and I didn't like that version of myself.

As I struggled, so did our relationship. We fought more frequently, slipping into a cycle that followed us across continents, one that eventually led to our breakup.

Now, I know love alone isn't enough to build a full life

My return to England marked a major shift: Instead of arriving with an open mind, I carried expectations for both my time living abroad and the relationship I was chasing.

However, the magic from my first visit had faded, and the reality was far from what I had envisioned.

I realized love alone couldn't help me create the life I wanted with another person — I also needed to feel whole on my own.

My experience in Hastings showed me that a healthy relationship requires stability, compatibility, and open communication, but it must be between individuals who both have a strong sense of self and independence.

I hadn't anticipated how much losing the structure of school, work, and social connections would impact my mental health.

If I had the chance to do things differently, I'd prioritize finding remote work, building friendships, and taking better care of myself.

Our love story didn't end how I'd hoped, but it was still real, beautiful, and worth remembering — and I learned invaluable lessons I will never forget.

Despite the challenges, I'd do it all over again.