The hell of being married to a man with an 11-inch penis… women think I’m lucky but sex leaves me hobbling like a cowboy
LYING in bed next to my new boyfriend, my initial reaction on seeing his manhood for the first time was…”crikey!”
Although I’d only had a couple of relationships before Aldo, so didn’t have much to compare his willy to, I still knew it was significantly bigger than any penis I’d ever seen before.
I was very attracted to Aldo, and really did want to sleep with him, but I felt daunted by his size.
And I was right to, spending the day after that first time feeling very happy but also sore, hobbling around like a cowboy.
I really couldn’t believe my eyes, it was huge
Nine years on, we’re still very happily together but we’ve had to learn how to have a satisfying sex life whilst making sure it’s still comfortable for me.
Aldo, 40, who works as a builder and postman, and I met in 2016 in a bar in Central London.
Tall, dark and handsome, with a cheeky sense of humour and a sexy Italian accent, I fancied him instantly.
After a few weeks of dating we slept together for the first time, which was when I realised I was in a relationship with a very unique man.
Hobbling around like a cowboy
At 11 inches long when erect, his willy was more than twice the average male penis size. I really couldn’t believe my eyes, it was huge.
I was raised in an Irish Catholic household and there was a lot of mystery and silence around sex. I learned about it from books, films and cousins and friends.
I remember going into a sex shop for a laugh when I was studying at university in Dublin and being stunned at the shapes and sizes of the sex toys – I really was naive back then about what willies could look like.
Even once I moved to Australia and then London in my twenties, and had some boyfriends, becoming more experienced sexually, they were just average sized blokes.
I simply never contemplated that a penis like Aldo’s existed.
After that first time, when I got such a shock, Aldo and I continued dating and I knew I was falling in love with him.
I kept thinking my body would get used to his size, but discomfort continued to be a post coital theme for me.
Sometimes I’d have to resort to taking painkillers and putting a hot water bottle on my abdomen to soothe the discomfort.
I had no idea how to tell Aldo and it never felt like the right moment to raise such a delicate issue.
I’d have to resort to painkillers to soothe the discomfort
I worried it would hurt him to know he was causing me pain, and that such a revelation would kill the passion between us and wreck our flourishing relationship.
Apart from this one problem, I was so deeply happy.
Aldo complimented me constantly and told me how lucky he felt to have met me. We talked about our future, and the children we were going to have, and I knew he was The One.
The only issue coming between us was The Very Big One in his pants.
Six months after we met, Aldo proposed and we were married within a year of our first date. It was a whirlwind but we knew we were meant to be together so why wait?
It was only then, once we were husband and wife and wanted to start trying for a baby, that I found the courage to admit that sex could be uncomfortable, even painful, for me.
After a year of often gritting my teeth and bearing it, and dealing with feeling tender in the days afterwards, I knew my body was never going to adapt to Aldo’s length and girth.
It was time to open up, and try and find a solution together.
My body was never going to adapt to Aldo’s length and girth
I waited until after we’d had sex one night, then gently told Aldo that I loved him so much, but I was really struggling to ‘accommodate’ his size.
I told him I wanted us to have a sex life, of course, but we needed to rethink how we did it, especially if we were going to be doing it more frequently as we tried to get pregnant.
Aldo admitted this wasn’t the first time a woman had told him this, so he wasn’t shocked, and he was happy to work with me finding a way to have sex we could both enjoy.
We began experimenting with different positions, making some our favourites and ruling others out because it was too sore for me.
We made sure to use lubricant and enjoy foreplay, and we explored non-penetrative sex too, realising it could be fun and satisfying too.
It all helped and I felt relieved we had such a strong relationship, we could work together to solve this problem and it not cause any tension or upset between us.
It did mean we had to plan ahead. Spontaneous quickies were out of the question, but that was a sexual sacrifice I was happy to make to not be in discomfort.
Our first child, Mateo, four, was born in 2020.
It had taken a few years to conceive him, which had been emotionally difficult for us both, so we were overjoyed when he was delivered by emergency c-section.
Aldo only wants to make me happy, not leave me limping around
His brother Conor, two, came along in 2022, another c-section delivery.
Even though I hadn’t had vaginal deliveries, I was still nervous about resuming having sex with Aldo after each boy was born.
We waited several months each time as I wanted to give my body a chance to heal, and also like many new mums, I felt less confident about my postpartum figure.
Like many parents to young children, sex is a lot less frequent than it used to be but we try to be intimate at least once a month.
We may not always have full penetrative sex, it could be oral instead for example, but we will both orgasm.
I really love that we can be physically close and give one another pleasure, without it always having to involve penetration.
Just how big is the average penis... really?
How far does the UK rank down the list?
A group of German scientists put together an “international comparison” of penis sizes.
They ranked average penis sizes across the world, from biggest to smallest, from 90 countries.
Ecaudor – 6.93in
Cameroon – 6.56in
Bolivia – 6.5in
Sudan – 6.48in
Haiti – 6.3in
Senegal – 6.26in
Netherlands – 6.25in
Frrance – 6.2in
Canada – 6.19in
Americans – 5.35in (60th place)
Brits – 5.17in (68th place)
And when we do have ‘traditional’ sex, we now know what positions are best for us and what ones to avoid.
There are still times though when we don’t get the delicate balance between pleasure and comfort right because we get carried away.
That can be hard for both of us – Aldo only wants to make me happy, not leave me limping around the next morning because I’m so tender down below.
Women are conditioned to believe big is best when it comes to willies, but that’s not necessarily true, and it can mean women like me feel silenced, unable to admit we’re struggling with our well hung man.
For a long time, I told nobody apart from one close friend about Aldo’s willy, her reaction was to tell me I was ‘so lucky’. She just didn’t get it.
Over the years, I have become more open because I think it’s important to be honest about sex, and never feel you can’t express what does and doesn’t work for you. Plus given how much women’s bodies are scrutinised, why shouldn’t men’s be up for discussion too?
I’ve seen women eyeing up Aldo’s assets on the beach when we’re on holiday, or at the swimming pool, because even in sporty shorts which aren’t clingy, anyone can see how generously proportioned he is.
They’re probably thinking how lucky I am to have a man like that, but they have no idea what a challenge it’s been.
Aldo’s colleagues refer to him now as ‘Big Willy’ and he and I can joke about his manhood, but the reality is, loving such a well hung man and finding a way to have a satisfying sex life with him, is no laughing matter.