The Radium’s authentic brew

Mixologists, cocktail shakers, minimalist decor in muted colours, backlit rows of overpriced bottles of spirits, bearded bartenders with multiple tattoos, muzak, craft beer: none of these are on my list of essential attributes to make me want to frequent a bar.

The days when I used to spend many happy hours propping up the bar counter in my favourite establishments are long gone. But if I do venture forth then my needs are simple, some would say indicative of my advancing years and curmudgeonly nature.

The bar counter is an important element. It should be solid wood with scars and gouges to mark the many years of service. Cigarette burns are a reminder of the days spent in noisy smoke-filled rooms. The bartender should have worked in the establishment long enough to know who the regulars are and to forgive their sometimes erratic behaviour. The bar stools should be made of wood and be sturdy enough to stand firm despite wobbly patrons. Prego and chips should be on the lunch menu. The beer should be cold. Guinness on tap is a bonus but not essential.

Here a quote from the legendary chef Anthony Bourdain seems appropriate: “I would say that the angriest critiques I get from people about shows are when I’m drinking whatever convenient cold beer is available in a particular place, and not drinking the best beer out there. You know, I haven’t made the effort to walk down the street 10 blocks to the microbrewery where they’re making some fucking Mumford and Sons IPA. People get all bent about it. But look, I like cold beer. And I like to have a good time. I don’t like to talk about beer, honestly. I don’t like to talk about wine. I like to drink beer. If you bring me a really good one, a good craft beer, I will enjoy it, and say so. But I’m not gonna analyse it.”

Here in Johannesburg, the bar at the Troyeville Hotel has been my local for more than 40 years. It ticked all the boxes for me and I knew that I would always bump into a familiar face there. The Jolly Roger also has many of the required elements, including the old-school woody atmosphere, despite its Parkhurst location.

But there can be no doubt that the Radium Beer Hall in Orange Grove tops the list. Nothing can compete with a look and feel “slow-brewed” since 1929 and a teak bar counter salvaged from the demolished Ferreirastown Hotel. There’s good beer, great food, live music and in the late afternoon sunlight filters through the windows onto the bar stools.

Last year there were stories about the Radium being up for auction and worried speculation that it would close. So it was a relief to come across an article on the Businesstech website by Seth Thorne headlined “Johannesburg’s oldest bar lives on”.

Lina Cabeleira, the widow of the mighty Manny Cabeleira, who bought the Radium in the 1980s and presided over its growing popularity as a restaurant and music venue, is the owner now. Her goal is to make Manny, who died in 2021, proud: “I’m not doing it to be rich. I want to carry on this great legacy. If I can manage, I will hold on to it. And we’ll reach the 100-year mark.”

Among the pictures accompanying the story was one of Manny with his familiar moustache-and-mullet look and clutching two brimming mugs of beer. This brought back fond memories because it was part of a newspaper front page that I created for Manny way back in 1990.

In that year the Weekly Mail briefly became the Daily Mail but because of insufficient funding and resources the daily only lasted three months. On the night of the printing of the last edition of the paper, a bedraggled gang of staff members went to the Radium for the wake. Manny, seeing our sorrowful state, plied us with free beer. By three o’clock in the morning he was probably starting to regret this. But he disappeared into the kitchen and returned with large plates of steak, egg and chips in a vain attempt to sober us up.

Somehow we all managed to get home safely and a couple of days later presented this front page to Manny as a thank you for his generosity. The picture was taken by Kevin Carter and the fabricated stories written by John Perlman and Mark Gleeson.

If reading this long-winded story has been like sitting in a bar listening to a very drunk person telling the story of their life, then “I’m shorry”. But here is the actual point: these are not the sort of establishments where patrons sit fiddling on their phones looking at the latest TikTok offering.

They are more likely making raucous comments about the football and rugby playing on the big screen TVs. Or discussing why Manchester United are so useless. Or moaning about the VAT increase announced in the second coming of the budget and calculating how it is going to affect the price of beer.

Or, best of all, they might actually be reading a newspaper because sitting in a bar on a Friday lunchtime awaiting the arrival of their prego and sipping on a pint of Guinness is the perfect time to take a leisurely look at the contents of their favourite tabloid newspaper.

It might just be a look at the horse racing pages of The Citizen to find some tips for the sixth race at Turffontein, but never forget: the Mail & Guardian is still a newspaper.