I moved from California to a tiny town in Kansas, where I bought my first home and feel like I'm finally winning at life

• Kaitlyn Sundberg and her husband, Jack, felt they couldn't afford to buy a home in California.
• In 2023, they moved to Kansas and eventually settled in Neodesha, a town of about 2,000 residents.
• Kansas' lower cost of living allowed them to buy their first home and build up their savings.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kaitlyn Sundberg, 27, who moved from California to Kansas with her husband in 2023. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

For a couple of years, my husband and I lived with his family in a 300-square-foot studio apartment that we built in his parents' garage in Hesperia, California, about two hours outside San Diego.

At that time, buying a house wasn't even on the table, and studio apartments were going for about $2,000 a month.

We were very thankful for the opportunity to live with my in-laws, as they charged us very little rent, which helped us grow our savings. However, his parents had a full house, and although we had our own space, it felt cramped with little privacy.

After getting married in 2022, we started thinking about starting a family. We realized that to find an affordable home with enough space and build our own life, we'd have to leave California.

We were really hoping to move to places like Washington state, South Carolina, Oregon, Northern California, Utah, Colorado, or even Arizona. My husband applied for jobs in those states, but no opportunities came up. We also looked at housing in those areas, and many had prices similar to what we were seeing in Southern California.

In 2023, Jack found a job he really liked. After telling me all the positives, he finally mentioned it was in Kansas — which was one of the states I didn't want to move to because I was afraid of tornadoes.

Still, I told him, "Go ahead, go for it. What's the worst that could happen?"

He applied for the job. The following week, they flew him out for an interview, and two months later, we moved.

We found the perfect home

At first, we were living in an apartment in Wichita. Eventually, we started looking for a home, which felt like a big task.

We drew a large square on the map and began searching on Realtor.com. We'd find houses we liked, but by the next day, they'd be gone.

I eventually found a home in Neodesha that I really liked. We called our real-estate agent, who agreed to meet us at the house.

As we drove through Neodesha, we saw a softball game, kids riding their bikes, and the neighborhood pool full. It had such a great hometown vibe. I teared up in the car — it felt like a scene from a movie.

When we pulled up to the house and walked in, it was another moment of tears. It felt like trying on a wedding dress — everything seemed so perfect and fit so well. We put an offer on the house that day, and it was accepted the next day.

We paid $240,000 for the home. It's a four-bedroom, two-bathroom ranch-style house with about 2,300 square feet, and we're on roughly 0.7 acres.

We'd never be able to buy a house as nice as this one in California. I looked into it, and our Neodesha house is comparable to an $800,000 or $900,000 home in California.

Overall, the cost of living is much better here. We're saving thousands a month on housing compared to what we would have paid in California. Gas and groceries are much cheaper as well, even with recent price increases, and we've been saving by eating out less.

It took time to adjust to small-town living

Neodesha is a small town with about 2,000 people. The closest big cities are Wichita, Kansas City, and Tulsa, Oklahoma — all about one and a half to two hours away.

It was definitely a culture shock coming from California.

Growing up, my dad was in the Coast Guard, so I moved around a lot and was used to adapting to new environments. Even still, I remember going to the grocery store in Neodesha and thinking, "Why do these people want to know my whole life story?" I just wanted to buy my oranges and get out of there.

But slowly and surely, my husband and I started warming up to it. Now one of my favorite things is just talking to people and getting to know everyone. It's nice to know that everyone looks out for each other here.

I've made a life for myself here

I graduated with my bachelor's in Liberal Studies, focusing on elementary education. When my husband and I moved to Kansas, I thought, "What am I going to do now?"

At first, I worked as the director of a childcare center in Iowa, Kansas — about an hour's drive from our house in Neodesha. I was commuting an hour there and an hour back.

One day, my neighbor shared a job posting for an early learning center opening just around the corner from my house. I applied for the director position and got the job.

In my role, I've been involved in everything from the building process to ordering furniture, hiring teachers, enrolling students, and helping open the center.

I also joined the Neodesha Area Chamber of Commerce and now sit on its board, which has really helped me get to know people.

I go to a lot of community events and see parents and kids every day. Now I can't go anywhere without running into someone I know.

It's a small-town thing, and I love it.

We love small-town life but miss some big-city amenities

Before we moved, my mom was worried about tornadoes in Kansas. But having lived in so many places and experienced nearly every natural disaster — hurricanes, blizzards, and fire days in California — I wasn't too concerned.

At first, burn piles in Neodesha stressed me out, but over time, I've felt safer. Tornadoes are less common here, and although I still lock myself in the closet during warnings, I feel it's a quick event with enough notice before they happen.

Honestly, I haven't found much to dislike about Neodesha, except that people I know well see me around town without makeup on the weekends.

That said, it would be nice to see more shops on Main Street — little boutiques, mom-and-pop stores, and more restaurants. That's something we, coming from California, really miss.

Having a few more businesses would be great. It would help bring more people into town.

There's also no Target nearby, so more options for shopping would be nice, too.

We're never moving back to California

Kansas truly feels like home in a way California never really did. I feel like my husband, and I have come into our own and have established a life here.

We plan on staying in Neodesha. We think it's a great place to raise kids. I also love my job. I helped build the learning center and told my husband he'd have to drag me out of this town because it feels like my baby.

It's tough being away from family. But my in-laws love it here, and we're doing our best to convince them — and the rest of our family — to move here, too.

I honestly don't know how Jack and I lived in California for so long. Unless we were being paid a lot of money, I don't think we'd ever move back.

I visited recently, and I hated it. There were people everywhere, and they weren't as friendly. When I went to Target, I was the weirdo smiling and trying to talk to everyone, but no one was having it.

Also, driving in California stressed me out. The worst traffic in Neodesha is getting stuck behind a tractor.