Trump Should Send Overzealous TSA Agents to Patrol the Southern Border
Traveling today is as stressful as a TikTok influencer writing a résumé. Between the freedom-depleting regulations of the TSA and the joys of air travel itself, one must prepare carefully. Add a severe disability into the mix, and the stress compounds exponentially. Yet, my wife needed specialized surgery requiring a flight, so we meticulously organized our bags to comply with every conceivable rule. After all, it’s for our own good, right?
Oh, and did I mention why my wife always wears a dress to fly? With two prosthetic legs, she’s learned the hard way that some TSA agents have an uncanny enthusiasm for examining her sockets and gel liners — all the way up. Decades ago, we decided that stripping for a wand-wielding officer was not an experience worth repeating. On the bright side, their diligence might save her a few primary care visits.
My wife’s prostheses are uncovered, meaning they lack cosmetic skin coverings and look somewhat robotic. (For a visual, consult Fox News’ Joey Jones.) We also went the extra mile — literally and financially — to get her TSA Pre-Checked. As a “known traveler,” one might think she’d breeze through security.
One might think.
At the airport, I took her purse, carry-on bag, and crutches through the line, passing inspection effortlessly. However, my wife sat in her wheelchair for a female agent to conduct her hand scan. Watching at least one female TSA staff member chatting nearby, seemingly unhurried, I asked about the lengthy delay. The answer from the female agent chatting with the male agent was, “We’re waiting on a female agent.”
You have no idea the amount of torque required for my restraint at that moment.
Eventually, one ambled over.
Then, it happened.
A male agent approached me to announce: “Her bag and purse need additional screening because her shoes set off an alarm.”
Sneakers, to be precise — worn sockless on two prosthetic feet.
“What kind of alarm?”
“I can’t tell you,” he replied.
“But you’ve already scanned her purse, bag, crutches, and husband.”
“Her shoes triggered an alarm.”
Again, “What kind of alarm?”
“We can’t say.”
“How can we plan for this alarm?”
“We can’t tell you.”
Seeing my expression, he invoked the sacred words: “It’s policy.”
At this point, I resisted the urge to inform him of my own “triggered alarm” and acquiesced. After all, with a nod to the Soup Nazi: “No compliance? No plane for you!”
Watching my wife — already in significant pain, en route to her 87th surgery — sit helplessly as a TSA agent removed every single item from her purse was infuriating.
Now, I’ve been married long enough to know this: women detest anyone looking into their purses. It’s a universally understood boundary enforced through decades of marital training. The women watching in line silently confirmed this truth, their expressions telegraphing indignation and solidarity. My wife, who doesn’t even like me looking into her purse, was understandably distressed.
Let’s pause for perspective: we live in a country where the southern border is overwhelmed, allowing entry to individuals who have caused harm to citizens and communities. Yet, here stood a zealously staffed TSA force, scrutinizing the possessions of a woman who could scarcely stand, all in the name of “policy.”
I washed her sneakers the day before, so unless Tide Ultra with OxiClean is now on the TSA watchlist, this “alarm” remains a mystery.
Imagine what these enthusiastic TSA agents could accomplish if redirected toward combating drug traffickers, gang members, and human smugglers. Someone should call Tom Homan — he’d know how to channel this zeal. But no, it’s reserved for my wife — a severely disabled woman trying to make it to Denver for surgery. Meanwhile, even travelers without disabilities deal with similarly nonsensical policies, creating a system that frustrates everyone equally.
The TSA may not be on the highest priority list for Trump’s second term, but my hopes remain that he will offhandedly remark to Elon: “Elon! You’re fantastic — really fantastic. TSA? Total disaster. Fix it. Make travel great again. Nobody does it better than you!”
My wife’s surgery went well, but the return trip promises all the joy of the DMV — the primordial ooze from which the TSA sprang.
READ MORE from Peter Rosenberger:
Trump’s Plan to Support America’s Caregivers
Jill Biden: The Enabler-In-Chief
Peter Rosenberger is an author and hosts the nationally syndicated radio program, Hope for the Caregiver. He’s served as a caregiver for his wife, Gracie, for four decades. PeterRosenberger.com
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