My husband went out on our anniversary leaving me alone with our baby
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband went out on our wedding anniversary leaving me at home with our baby daughter.
He came home steaming drunk then just went straight to bed.
I am 27 and my husband is 30. We have been together for five years.
Our longed-for daughter was born six months ago but it was a traumatic birth ending with emergency surgery and I took many weeks to recover. Even now I have the odd flashback.
I was also quite depressed but instead of supporting me, my husband was unsympathetic and even irritated with both me and our daughter.
If she woke in the night he would shout at me and tell me to stop her crying. I was so stressed.
My mum came to stay for a couple of weeks when I returned home from hospital but all my husband did was shout at her, accusing her of meddling.
My in-laws are no better. They criticise how I look after our daughter.
I don’t want her to come from a broken home like I did but our baby’s birth seems to have brought out the worst in us as a couple.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Looking after a newborn baby can be a stressful time and puts many relationships under pressure regardless of what they were like before. You have both been through a frightening time.
You are exhausted through sleep deprivation but rest assured this stage doesn’t last forever.
Critical grandparents who think they know best make things worse.
Your lives are changing but it’s important you talk it out. Both of you will recall the way you were parented, which can bring up painful feelings.
Tell your husband you love him and don’t want this stressful time to ruin your marriage.
Contact the Association For Postnatal Illness (apni.org, 0207 386 0868).
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