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Two cheating couple’s secret affairs are out and they blame me for spilling secret

Dear Deidre: Spotting the signs your partner is cheating
Deidre's Take
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DEAR DEIDRE: MY new “mum friends” were secretly swapping husbands but I got caught in the crossfire and now everyone has turned against me.

I’m 24 and my partner is 25. None of our friends have kids yet so when our son started school in September, I joined the PTA to meet more parents.

That’s how I met two couples who were a little older than me but great fun.

I was thrilled my social life was picking up.

One night we went to a quiz night at the school.

The wine was flowing and I caught one dad flirting with the wife from the other couple, touching her bum as we walked in and stroking her leg under the table.

I didn’t want my other friend to be hurt so I caught her alone by the stage and casually asked if she thought her husband was acting funny.

She seemed panicky and confessed she’d been having an affair with the other dad.

I stood there in shock as she told me their liaison had been going on for two years.

She swore me to secrecy, saying she was going to call it off in the new year.

So, between the four of them, two of them were having an affair and the other two seemed about to embark on one if they hadn’t already.

Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it
Deidre's Take
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For the next few months, I didn’t know where to put myself and eventually the stress got too much so I distanced myself from all of them.

But over Christmas, it all came out about the two-year affair and now the woman who confided in me is convinced I spilled the beans but I didn’t.

Since school started again, none of the other mums are talking to me. Will I be a social outcast forever?

DEIDRE SAYS: Sadly, playground politics can be brutal no matter how old you are.

You have done nothing wrong. I know you’re stressed and worried now but the truth has a habit of making itself known.

Your former friend will find out that any gossip didn’t come from you.

When she does, you’ll have to decide whether you still want to be friends with someone who leaps to conclusions so quickly.

Keep your head held high and focus on making less complicated friendships.

Look further afield and find other local parent pals.

Check out meetup.com or Peanut, an app designed by a networking expert to help women meet friends.

And read my support pack called Widening Your Social Scene.

Having a focus outside school will make pick-up times less stressful and help you stay emotionally detached from any drama.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:

deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

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