I have no problem disciplining other people’s kids – I won’t have someone else’s child trash my house, says Zoe Hardman
IT’S a tricky situation to be in as a parent – do you discipline other people’s children when they’re not around?
Some parents might swear they’d never do it and would rage if anyone tried to tell their little angels off, but Zoe Hardman isn’t one of them.
The Heart FM DJ Zoe Hardman discussed the controversial topic along with friend and PR pro Georgia Dayton on their podcast, Made by Mammas, where they chat all things motherhood and solve dilemmas from other parents.
In a recent episode one mum wrote in to ask how she should handle her friends not discipling their kids, and Zoe got right to business as she admitted she “loved” the question.
Zoe admitted that whenever she drops her own kids off for playdates she’ll let the other parent know they can discipline them, since she won’t be there.
The mum admitted she’s “really hot” on stuff like saying please and thank you, as well as other basic manners, so has no problem with her kids being pulled up on it.
And it goes the other way too, the mum added.
She explained: “At the same time I’ll always say ‘if anything goes wrong here I’m going to come down on [your kids] and I’ll report back.’
“I’m a bit of a stickler for that because I won’t have someone else kid coming into my house and trashing it.”
In fact, Zoe admitted she once had a kid come of to her house who ended up breaking one of her kids’ Christmas presents “on purpose”.
According to the mum, they “smashed it, snapped it, and thew it and stamped on it.”
“I just couldn’t believe it,” Zoe said, before admitting she went “straight to the mum and had that conversation with them.”
After sharing the podcast clip on social media, one user agreed they will discipline other people’s kids, but only if it’s a must.
They commented: “I will always discipline with good intentions in mind, but I also don’t wanna be that moany depressing mum.
“I’m trying to find the balance but don’t know what that looks like currently.”
Replying to the comments, the Made By Mamma account wrote: “It’s definitely hard to know when to discipline and when not to especially when it’s a friend’s kids.”
Previously, Zoe admitted she sometimes struggles with the “thankless task” of raising her children, and has called for more recognition for the role mums play in society.
“Currently on the floor, I know I’m capable of lots and I’m a good mum, but it’s a thankless task, both from family, day to day and society as a whole”, she told broadcaster Zoe Hardman and Georgia Dayton on their podcast Made By Mammas.
“More recognition for stay at home mums would help self-worth, as we don’t get it from anywhere else.”
“Stay at home mums have the hardest job in the world”, Zoe said, agreeing with the mum’s sentiment.
Zoe said that society should focus on stay at home mums having the most important job, and realise how brilliant and hardworking they are.
This way, stay at home mums wouldn’t be battling with their self-worth, she said.
Georgia added that stay at home mums have no breaks, and aren’t able to take time for themselves.
“So many people think that they can’t ask for help, because you don’t have to have the child care, but you do”, she said.
You really need a break, being a stay at home mum is more than a full time job, and so therefore you do need to allow yourself little breaks.”
“You’re not a robot, I completely agree with you”, Zoe echoed.
Different parenting techniques
Here are some widely recognised methods:
Authoritative Parenting
This technique will often foster independence, self-discipline, and high self-esteem in children.
It is often considered the most effective, this technique is where parents set clear expectations – enforcing rules – whilst also showing warmth and support.
Authoritarian Parenting
This is opposite to authoritative parenting, as it is where the parent sets high demands but is low on responsiveness.
It involves ensuring the child is obedient and often employ punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behaviour, it may also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents tend to be indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role more akin to a friend than an authority figure. They are highly responsive but lack demandingness, granting children a lot of freedom. This method can nurture creativity and a free-spirited nature but may also result in poor self-regulation and difficulties with authority.
Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category offer minimal guidance, nurturing, or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development.
Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, frequently micromanaging their children’s lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.
Free-Range Parenting
Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their surroundings with minimal parental interference. This method promotes independence and resilience but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.
Attachment Parenting
According to Marriage.com, Attachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and baby-wearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but demands significant time and emotional commitment from parents.
Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family’s values and meets the child’s needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.