Is ‘sleep anxiety’ keeping you up at night? How to reset your snooze in two weeks (and coffee is allowed)

KIDS, money worries, a snoring partner – there are many factors getting in the way of good sleep.

Our Health Kick Survey found one in six readers (15 per cent) struggle to get enough kip, with women and under-40s hardest hit.

And if you have got kids, you are not alone — one in five parents find sleep elusive most nights.

But have you ever considered that the culprit could be “sleep anxiety”?

Excessive worrying and fear of not being able to fall (or stay) asleep, can make it even harder to do.

We’ve all been there — tossing and turning at night, watching the clock and becoming increasingly panicked.

People with sleep anxiety often find themselves caught in a cycle of stress, which sucks them into falling for the latest gimmick promising to “fix” their inability to get enough rest.

Expert Stephanie Romiszewski, sleep physiologist and founder of Sleepyhead Clinic and re:sleep, says: “False expectations about our sleep can fuel worries about it, which in turn make it worse.

“You can develop real anxiety, which will make your sleep poor.

“You don’t need any additional tools to sleep better unless a medical doctor or sleep specialist has told you.

“Therefore, added tech, supplements, sprays and oils are all futile.”

Instead, thinking about how our two core sleep systems work is better, says Stephanie, right.

The first is the sleep drive or “sleep pressure” — a build-up of the chemical adenosine in your body throughout the day.

Stephanie says: “That feeling of sleepiness does not come out of nowhere.

“It’s your sleep drive and, to build it, you need to spend time awake.

“It’s a bit like the fact that in order to eat, we need to feel hunger, and after eating, the hunger builds up again.”

The second core system is the circadian rhythm.

Stephanie says: “Imagine your circadian rhythm is a clock that lives in your brain and regulates various bodily processes such as your sleep cycle, your mood and appetite hormones, and more.

“Your body wants you to do certain things at certain times of the day in order to be able to keep these cycles going.”

Sleep drive and circadian rhythms work in tandem and love consistency, so Stephanie warns: “Doing things at random times confuses the brain.”

The biggest influence on the circadian rhythm is light exposure.

Humans naturally wake at dawn and sleep at dusk — so if you spend all day in a dark room and all night under bright lights, your body will quickly get confused.

We are all guilty of making mistakes like these, albeit on a smaller scale.

Stephanie says: “Our bodies are just reacting to our inconsistent behaviour.

“Other stuff we obsess over, for example a perfect bedtime routine, lavender sprays or supplements — all the things we are told significantly affect our sleep — are nowhere near as influential.”

But what about the golden eight hours of sleep?

“We need to stop focusing on duration as the most important thing,” Stephanie says.

“Instead, we need to focus on being consistent from the moment we wake, as much as possible.”

Here, Stephanie takes us back to snooze school.

MORNING

DO: Expose yourself to as much light as possible in the morning.

Stephanie says: “Your body clock wants more light in the morning and the first two thirds of the day.

“Light signals tell your brain whether to be awake (or asleep).”

Up before dawn?

“I highly recommend light alarms and medical-grade lightboxes if you feel you need more than a bright lightbulb,” advises Stephanie.

Establish a wake-up time that you stick to every day, regardless of how well you slept the night before.

“Getting up at the same time is helpful because your body needs to know when to start your 24-hour circadian rhythms, and it ensures your sleep drive builds up with predictability,” Stephanie explains.

“If you stick to a morning wake-up time, your bedtime in the evening will likely become predictable too.

“You can’t expect to dictate a random bedtime out of the blue, and expect your sleep drive to just ‘work’.”

Movement also helps, whether it be light stretches or a jig to the radio.

Stephanie says: “If you move your body, you are going to remind your brain that you don’t want to feel that horrible grogginess and fatigue.

“It doesn’t have to be a workout.”

While the exact timing of your breakfast doesn’t really matter, “be consistent,” pleads Stephanie.

“If you are a three-meals-a-day person, try to do this more often than you don’t, and at very similar times of day.”

DONT: Change your wake-up time, even at weekends.

Stephanie says: “Generally, the feeling of needing to lie in comes from a lack of sleep regulation, not because you are sleep-deprived.”

Unless, of course, you’ve only slept two hours because you’ve been up with a crying baby.

A 7am alarm may seem abhorrent on a Sunday.

But Stephanie says: “It’s not the end of the world if you have a day where you have more rest.

“Try to stick to those key anchor points, though.

“Get up at the same time, move your body and get daylight – those things are really important.”

If you’ve ever struggled with kip, no doubt you’ve been warned off caffeine by many sleep gurus, at least in the afternoon.

But Stephanie says it’s just one more thing to obsess over and adds that there’s no one-size-fits-all advice.

“Most people can get away with at least a cup of glorious coffee or tea in the morning,” she says.

“Also, if you sleep well and then get a chronic sleep problem, and your caffeine intake did not change, then why are you giving it up?

“It makes no sense – we do not need to live in perfection in order to sleep.”

IN THE DAY

DO: Exercise, whenever you can squeeze it in.

Stephanie says: “Some people can exercise later in the day and their sleep is not affected.

“Others might find their bedtime needs to be slightly later.”

But, regardless, she says exercise is always a good idea, even if it takes you a little longer to wind down in the evening.

She adds: “Exercise will always be better than not exercising, when it comes to sleep and health in general.

“You need movement to thrive mentally and physically and reduce stress.”

In terms of what to eat during the day, Stephanie advises that it is about keeping your diet healthy.

“Sure, if you have a severe gluten intolerance that you have not accounted for in your diet, it will likely impact sleep until you do,” she says.

“But changing your diet to fix sleep when you have no dietary concerns or issues? You will be running around in circles.”

DON’T: Nap when your sleep is poor.

Stephanie says: “The odd nap won’t hurt you, but using it as a compensatory method will lead to more chronic sleep problems at night.

“If you decide to start sleeping during the day [instead of building your sleep drive], then you’ll spend more time awake at night.”

She uses the metaphor of a phone battery, saying: “If you charge your battery sporadically, for ten minutes and then ten hours, you’ll notice that not only is your phone battery unpredictable, it becomes poor.

“When you are building your sleep drive but have a nap, your brain gets confused because you’ve soaked up some of that battery.

“Seek medical support if you feel you cannot get through the day without napping regularly.

“This is often a sign of a sleep disorder.”

EVENING

DO: Embrace hobbies, pastimes and methods of relaxation that give your mood a boost.

Stephanie says: “After work, do activities you enjoy that leave you feeling content and happy.

“There are no strict rules here – only you know what winds you up and winds you down.”

Perhaps you religiously take a bath, do meditation and ditch your phone as an evening ritual, but do you do it because you have sleep anxiety or because you truly enjoy it?

Meanwhile, to keep your circadian rhythm ticking along, dim the lights.

Stephanie says: “Your evening needs to look a little slower, darker and less active than your day.

“So reduce everything down and focus on keeping your sleep systems healthy, rather than obsessing over night-time rituals.”

In the bedroom, pinpoint any specific issues keeping you awake, such as an uncomfortable mattress, feeling cold, your pets or having the hallway light on for the kids.

“A good sleep environment is peaceful, uncluttered and reliable, meaning it’s always available to you for rest and not much else,” Stephanie points out.

DON’T: Laze around under the duvet if you know you’ll struggle to drop off later.

Your bed should only ever be used for sleep – and sex.

Stephanie says: “Sure, read in bed and enjoy bedtime if you don’t have a chronic sleep problem.

“But if you’re aware you are spending a lot of extra time in bed, it’s time to get strict, to help your brain understand what you want to do there.”

Finding it difficult to nod off? Don’t stress about it, says Stephanie.

“Your body is telling you it’s not time for sleep, so why panic and try to force it to do something it doesn’t want to do?

“Enjoy the extra evening time that most people, let’s face it, wish they had.

“Let’s take away those sleep anxiety gremlins and replace them with some indulgence.”

And if you’re sleepy the next day, don’t panic. It’s all contributing to that important sleep drive.

If it’s a snoring partner or duvet hogger that’s causing an issue, a “sleep divorce” might not be a bad thing.

“For some, sleeping in separate bedrooms could help – and it could improve sex and marriage,” says Stephanie.

“Sometimes, I think we focus on the environment instead of our own behaviour because it requires less effort from us.”

The signs of a sleep disorder

IF the tips on these pages don’t help within two weeks, you may have a sleep disorder, Stephanie says.

She suggests instead of buying into fixes online, try evidence-based treatments like cogni­tive behavioural therapy for insomnia.

HARD TO NOD OFF

WHEN you regularly have trouble falling asleep, wake in the night or very early and can’t nod off again, you could have insomnia.

You might feel tired, irritable and unable to concentrate during the day, too.

Insomnia is either acute (less than three months) or chronic and has many causes, from a new baby to grief.

SNORING OR GASPING

IT might be a partner who spots your sleep apnoea, which causes snoring or gasping, choking or interruptions in breathing.

Sufferers can wake up with a headache and feel very tired during the day.

Causes include obesity, a large neck or tonsils and sleeping on your back.

EXTREME TIREDNESS

FEELING unbearably tired and falling asleep suddenly without warning may be narcolepsy.

The brain disorder, caused by a lack of hormones that keep you awake, may cause vivid dreams when falling asleep which can be scary, and temporary inability to move muscles or speak (sleep paralysis).

FIDGETING IN BED

RESTLESS legs syndrome causes a person to have an uncontrollable urge to move their lower limbs because they have uncomfortable sensations, such as crawling, itching or pulling.

It can occur in the evenings or when in bed. It can run in families but sometimes no cause is found.

SLEEP TALKING

WALKING or talking in your sleep, night terrors and acting out dreams, are disorders called parasomnias.

These can be frightening or dangerous to the sleeper or partner.

They can occur at any stage of sleep and also covers bedwetting and sexsomnia (engaging in sex without awareness).

BODY CLOCK SLIP-UP

WHEN your desired sleep pattern and the one you have are misaligned, it is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder.

Types are jet lag, shift-work sleep disorder and delayed sleep phase disorder, when someone can’t nod off until the early hours.

The body clock has become out of sync with environmental clues.