Millie Mackintosh reveals she’d ‘fight strangers’ when drunk & fly into ‘nasty’ rages at husband
MILLIE Mackintosh has revealed she would once ‘get in fights with women she’d just met’ during her past struggles with alcohol.
Made In Chelsea star Millie, 35, confessed to flying into “angry and nasty” rages at her husband Hugo Taylor, 38, while drunk as she spoke openly about her life before sobriety.
The influencer decided to quit alcohol two and a half years ago after realising the impact of her behaviour.
Millie has now candidly revealed why she hasn’t looked back since.
Speaking on the Mail’s Life of Bryony podcast, Millie revealed that she often feared being caught drunk on camera, which added immense pressure to her public life.
She explained: “I just remember a night where you would go over to a mums house, there would maybe be like eight of you there, and it would be an episode of like Desperate Housewives Of Chiswick where I’m suddenly be in a catfight with some woman I had just met.
“And then trying to get home and can’t get the keys in the lock, waking Hugo up and the baby and you’re just like a complete mess.”
The mother-of-two also reflected on how her behavior impacted her relationship with her husband, whom she married in 2018.
She continued: “For me I’d actually started to get quite angry and nasty.
“But it wasn’t, like if I was on a night out that I’d just be in an immense rage with a stranger, it would be at the end of the night and directed at him.”
Millie said she would also be in constant fear of being caught drunk on camera after she shot to fame on Made On Chelsea in 2011.
She admitted: “The fear of being exposed was constant. I was terrified someone would catch me on camera at my worst.
“I was living in constant fear that there was going to be pictures of me wasted, [I was] always waiting for a call from my agent to be like “Millie, what the f*** is this?'”
“You know with camera phones, it happened to me a couple of times. So then every time I was out and I was drinking in public, I was then terrified the next morning that someone had posted evidence of it somewhere.
“For me, it feels impossible to do all these things and go to these events and parties and do it alcohol free but it feels so scary but on the other side of that fear is the most beautiful life and don’t wait to do it.
“It’s the ultimate self-love choice to put yourself first.”
The reality star recently revealed a traumatic experience of ‘waking up with a person on top of her’ amid her booze battle.
Millie opened up about he relationship with alcohol in her book, Bad Drunk.
She revealed one traumatic experience in her teens that shaped her experience of alcohol, where she returned home from boarding school aged 14.
Attending a party with her then boyfriend, she recalls being eager to impress and that her wine glass was regularly filled up.
She felt tipsy but continued to drink believing it was fine because it felt like something a “mature” girlfriend should do.
Yet things took a turn for the worse, as Millie was sick and unwell from too much alcohol.
The reality star claims she woke up confused and groggy and found a boy on top of her.
The person was not her boyfriend, as she then claimed it was the person who had been pouring drinks for her throughout the night.
The scary experience had a profound impact on her, as she wrote in her Daily Mail piece: “Looking back, I wish I felt I could have confided in my parents.
“But how does a 14-year-old girl talk about what happened to her when she isn’t able to make sense of it herself?”
She added that “school was also a traumatic experience” as she continued: “And so began the cycle of instant gratification via boys and booze.
“The only way I could fit in with the popular crew was by pretending to be fine with their nastiness, and of course partying – which meant binge drinking every weekend.”
It wasn’t until a ‘breakthrough in therapy‘ in October 2022 that made Millie decide to give up alcohol and she has now joined the quarter of adult Brits who are teetotal.
“I didn’t want to admit it, but it’s a huge trigger for my anxiety,” she explained at the time.
“It has an instant negative effect on my mental health.”
Last year Millie opened up about hitting rock bottom as the stress of being a working mum took its toll.
In July last year, she bravely admitted she was back on anti-anxiety medication after she was left in “daily tears and feeling unsafe in my own body“.
She explained: “I was having quite a lot of panic attacks and my nervous system was actually in crisis. I had to take a bit of time off.”
Now, Millie is determined to look after herself physically and mentally and alcohol doesn’t fit into that picture.
Speaking on the CEO Mum podcast, she says: “Self care isn’t selfish. When you’re on a plane, they say, ‘Fit your own oxygen mask first, before anyone else’s.’
“You do have to keep your self care a priority, because if you’ve got nothing in the tank and you’re running on empty, you will get to the point where you’re going to break and you can’t be there for [your family] at all.”