All my daughter wanted for her 16th birthday was a co-ed sleepover. I wasn't happy, but I survived.
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- For her 16th birthday, my daughter wanted to host a co-ed sleepover. I was not on board.
- We eventually compromised and I agreed to let boys stay until 11 p.m., but later relented.
- Despite my initial concerns, the sleepover was uneventful and my daughter got her birthday wish.
Teenage co-ed sleepovers are not my thing. And though this wasn't our first co-ed party, I'm not sure I was emotionally prepared for this one. Our first took place when my daughter was two. Any display of affection came in the form of messy check kisses, with arms clasped tightly around another toddler's waist, as they tried to wriggle away. But it seems that today's teens also like having co-ed birthday parties and don't shy away from asking their parents for those parties to be sleepovers — something I never dreamed of asking my own parents at that age.
We agreed on a compromise
My daughter bugged me for weeks about her upcoming 16th birthday. She wanted ten of her friends there, a mix of a few boys, but mostly girls. She pointed out that I let her go to weekend get-togethers, where she sometimes ended up sleeping over in places with her guy friends there, which was fine with me. After all, I knew they stayed up most of the night watching movies. But this felt different. Now she wanted everyone to sleep at my house. Being a sober, single mom made me nervous about these things. So we agreed she could invite the boys for the evening, but they'd have to leave by 11:00.
The day before the party, with all her teen excitement tagging along with us, we made a trip to a local party store. We left with a bag of party supplies, plus a back seat full of helium balloons, bobbing around, which my daughter kept batting as they lurched towards the front seat. We dropped the balloons and other party stuff at home, then headed to the grocery store to retrieve the cake and a cart full of snack food that occupies the bottom row of the teen food pyramid.
The next day, after decorating the house with the streamers and balloons, her friends started to arrive around 5 p.m., far too early for my menopausal nervous system to handle. They came in dribs and drabs for the next hour or so, and my blood pressure surged when the last car pulled up with the boys and their adolescent hormones.
After taking jumps on the trampoline, the group settled in the family room, surrounded by bowls of chips, peanut M&M's, and popcorn. Between fits of laughter, they decided on what movies they'd watch during the night.
The kids eventually wore us down
The party remained fairly calm, a noticeable difference from last year's all-girl group. I bolstered myself and my nerves by inviting a couple other mom friends to join me at various stages throughout the evening, helping me to remain somewhat chill for most of the night.
When I finally settled into a novel, along with my ever increasing fatigue, my daughter detected my vulnerability and popped the question one last time. "Mom, can the guys please stay over. Ple-e-ease! It's the only 16th birthday I'll ever have."
Little did I know, one of the boy's father had already arrived to pick them up, and another crew of kids were working on him out on the porch. After over an hour of wearing us down with their-junk-food-energy-fueled-persuasion, we gave in and I had my first co-ed sleepover.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad
After all my fretting, it was quite innocuous. I told the boys they had to sleep in the guest room without any girls, although I did find out there was some making out going on after I went to bed.
The next morning, I was exhausted, as were the kids, but we made it through the night just fine.
I imagine when my daughter gets her license and her own car, and is driving around late at night without my supervision, this co-ed sleepover will look like nothing much. I still don't think I'll be volunteering to host another one of these anytime soon though.