The Sex Lives of College Girls Recap: Storytelling Hour
Well, it seems we had some division in last week’s episode, didn’t we? I can’t apologize for speaking my truth (and I simply never will), but perhaps we can agree on this week’s episode, which I enjoyed for the most part. The jokes felt right, Lila was back, and the universe around them felt a little more connected to this earth we all live on.
I’m in a good mood, so let’s just roll out the high notes of this episode first, shall we? As everyone might have guessed, after Kacey talks with Calvin, she is ready to lose her virginity! She hands out some gift cards for frozen yogurt (is that where all the froyo shops went? College campuses?) so the girls will have something to do so she can “be one with Cooper.” (Whitney: “Oh wow, the wording”) Her room is decked out in … uh … hellish Disney Adult vibes? Perhaps it’s just Tinkerbell vibes, which is easily the meanest thing I have ever said about a fictional character, but if the wings fit! Anyway, it’s all fairy lights and pink curtains with a playlist consisting of “the most romantic Disney kissing scenes.” Bela, hesitantly: “And … are you looking for feedback?” Kacey says no and they all erupt in a chorus of yays. I laughed! She hurries them out of the room because she doesn’t want to cry “yet,” and Whitney (and I) repeat, “yet?” under our breaths, worried. When exactly does she want to cry? At the moment of insertion? Post? My guess is post.
Unfortunately, when the moment comes, Kacey is ready and Cooper is extremely not ready. Perhaps it’s the twinkle lights, perhaps it’s the generic, unrecognizable song that is playing in the background that I did try to identify with no luck, but either way, it ain’t happening. Kacey is ready to toss the twinkle lights forever, so great is her shame. She has to see him in rehearsal for BREAD: The Musical later, and I am so grateful to get back into what is happening on this stage; my fingers are crossed for a song about yeast! Alas, no developments on the book or lyrics, but wouldn’t you know it? The lead had to drop out! Kacey wants it, and Cooper backs her up! So does this random tech guy who thinks it should be Kacey. I don’t know who he is or why he is pro-Kacey, but it’s enough for the professor, who agrees to let her try. When she thanks Cooper, she also apologizes for their not-great night, and he is very sweet about it! He confesses he didn’t feel ready to be her first and was surprised that he felt that way. This, more than anything, is the thing that convinces Kacey he’s the one, and I gotta agree, especially when he offers to pick the music. A keeper!
Do you know who else is doing it? Kimberly and Brian! After admitting their relationship to Professor Tig (wearing a jacket I need to own, like, yesterday), these two little nerds get freaky and FAST. I mean, who can blame them? Talking Proust is among the hottest things a young couple could do, right? This is also the second Proust mention in as many episodes. Is there a Proust scholar at Essex? Sorry, that’s neither here nor there, but suffice it to say: they are doing it a lot! So much, in fact, that Brian requests a nude to tide him over until their next tryst. To my delight, Kimberly finds the whole process empowering. And I do mean this: with a rack like that, I bet it is! She offers to show the girls her first-ever nudes, and honestly, I am touched to watch all of them ooohing and aaahing and giggling. They all approve, but Bela notices one is a live and contains her face. To think, she deleted that Cinco De Mayo post to keep her archive clean. But surely this will be fine, she’ll just ask Brian to delete it, right?
If you are at all surprised by Brian, the formerly sweet nerd refusing to delete Kimberly’s picture and then making her feel like a bitch for asking, you must not have met a man before! He acts like his access to Kimberly’s picture is more important than anything she might feel about it, but eventually, he relents and deletes it while she watches. At Sips, Lila reminds her of the concept of the cloud and tells her there is no way he deleted it from everything. Kimberly is understandably not looking forward to going back to his room and asks Lila to come for moral support. “Let’s go get rid of that pic of your tig ol’ biddies!” She cries, closing the cafe on an incoming customer. And thank god for her!
Brian tells her that she is being paranoid, EVEN THOUGH his roommate giggles from the corner and basically confirms he has seen the picture. Then he calls her crazy, and Lila has had enough! She knees him in the balls and wraps him in a headlock, allowing Kimberly to use his face to unlock his phone. He can delete the pictures, or she can call his mom and tell him he’s a piece of shit. Wow, what a perfect use of Lila and Kimberly’s skills! Also? FUCK Brian, wow!
I am sure you will recall how the show has been laying the track for Whitney to do something about her anxiety: her hesitant visit to the Mental Health services, the way she can’t sleep, and the number of classes she is taking; it was all there. Now, I certainly don’t need every show to give me a portrayal of a woman on the verge, but this feels like it was handled wildly fast, right? What was the point of laying all that track, only to have Whitney say, “I am going to start therapy” less than five minutes into the episode? Maybe the group won’t be supportive, and that’s the character-building journey we need to go on? Nope! Everyone basically says, “Yeah, we’ve been watching these last few episodes, and you seem really busy, Whit, I’m glad you are getting help,” then we move on. I mean, I am all for people not making a big deal about mental health and getting the help you need, trust me! It’s just that I am allegedly watching a show about friendship, so it feels like a strange choice to give one character this solo journey that doesn’t intersect with her friends. It’s like they only support each other dating, and look, I know what the title of the show is, but maybe they could have one conversation not about the men they are dating? Not me calling for the Bechdel test right here in 2025, how 2014 of me!
Happily, Whitney’s therapist is a perfect TV therapist—by which I mean he gives decent advice but delivers it like no real therapist would. Whitney opens their conversation with a list of things she is uninterested in discussing, including her parents and anyone she’s ever dated. “Got it! Yeah, that leaves me with a lot to…not work with.” She starts listing all the things she can’t stop thinking about, and she wants to take a break, but that’s never gonna happen. Girl, you don’t want a break, you need one! Her therapist agrees with me, and even though she has some difficulty sorting through the difference between a want and a need (join the club!) she feels empowered to take a day off. That breakthrough only took four minutes though, so they got a lot more to talk about. “Should we talk about your parent’s divorce?”
If you didn’t already think that Whitney’s soccer coach is a dick after he lightly pressured her to get a steroid shot, this would probably do it! She goes to him to ask for her day off, and he scoffs. No quitters on his team! And even though Whitney JUST learned what a day off is, I am proud of her for pushing back and insisting that she needs it. She insists so hard that she actually quits the team! I had a feeling this was coming, so I am not perhaps as gagged as they want me to be at this reveal. Nor is the following panic attack in the quad surprising, to be honest! Of course, Canaan is there, and is happy to be her human weighted blanket in the grass. I know people are still mad at him for kissing Kimberly last season. I say: they were never gonna happen!!! Plus, they’re IN COLLEGE! Of course they are making out with each other’s exes; that is what college is for! How big do you think this school in rural Vermont is, people? Be realistic!
This rolls right into one of my other episode nitpicks: Taylor. We all know how I feel about Taylor (at best, bored; at worst, furious), so I have no feelings learning that she is still dating Ash, and also, they are apparently moving in together.! Well, I suppose I would also feel compelled to move out of the room I shared with a straight girl that I kissed who then rejected me in public. This news gets Bela’s FAF radar up because Taylor is the only student she cares about. Bela thinks it’s a bad idea and is apparently blithely unaware of the fact that lesbians love to move FAST. She tries to pull an “I know what’s best,” but Taylor is not hearing any of that. Nor is she taking her carbon monoxide detector, as its constant beeping is driving her crazy. Bela looks concerned, but I say don’t let the door hit ya!
Speaking of Bela! She and Arvind talk about his hugely bad reaction to her body count, and he apologizes. It’s a decent apology, though he doesn’t understand why his reaction was offensive. Oh, and he’s clean, STI-wise, he tells her before urging her to get an HPV test. Bela is clearly miffed and offended by his assuming she has STIs, but it isn’t until she’s having lunch with the rest of the crew that she says she’s the queen of getting tested and knows the health staff by name. Why didn’t she say any of that to Arvind? Why did she act like he gave her brand-new information about herself? As she rants about it, the rest of the girls giggle, and Whitney tells her this is the funniest she’s ever been. Kimberly tells her there is a storytelling show at Sips tonight; maybe Bela should check it out. No one says, “Of course you should check that out; your whole deal was being into sex and comedy for the last two seasons of this show!”
At said storytelling show, Bela has more chemistry with the funny lesbian host Hailey than almost anyone she has been in a scene with. It might just be that blazer; blazers are powerful. She’s clearly inspired to work on her own storytelling, which I am actually glad to see! But Arvind is considerably less thrilled. He doesn’t love the idea of Bela getting on stage and talking about her sex life, and they agree to break up. I am getting a little bored of this “can’t have a supportive partner and this job” vibe!
At the end of the episode, she shows her piece to Hailey, leg bouncing a million miles a minute. Again, there is CHEMISTRY here, but I can’t quite imagine it’s supposed to be real. I mean I would LOVE a late bisexual arc for Bela, don’t get me wrong! It just feels like not what the show is trying to tell us, especially as Taylor calls and Bela ignores it. We flash to Taylor, who is, you guessed it, buying a handle of vodka and forcing me to regret my earlier “Don’t let the door hit ya.” I am just so mad that we went all this way without Bela doing comedy and apparently being a better person or whatever. Is it for her to drop that the second she is kind of back? No lessons learned all season?
Office Hours
• “Therapy’s really important, I think everyone should do it. I can’t because I am still gathering my mistakes.”
• Brian: “And what are you here for?” Lila: “Mostly chime-ins.”
• “I want to eat at Arby’s for every meal, but I need to fit into a tight karate gi for my blue belt test. So I will eat at Arby’s afterward to celebrate.” Perfect fake therapizing!
• Ruby Cruz, I am so sorry you are being wasted here, but I am so happy to hear you say, “Grilled cheese weather.”