Why The Best Leaders Let Themselves Be Vulnerable With Others
In a world that demands both personal growth and professional success, many of us fall into patterns that stop us from being vulnerable.
At work and in our communities, we are often surrounded by individuals with extraordinary strength, intellect, and capability. However, many wear a teflon coat of armor that deflects challenges, feedback, and moments of self-reflection. While this protective layer can help us navigate the pressures of business—and life more generally—it stops us from growing.
[time-brightcove not-tgx=”true”]A “Teflon Leader” is someone who presents a polished, unflappable exterior, often deflecting criticism, challenges, and failures without revealing vulnerability. These leaders tend to maintain an image of invulnerability, staying above reproach and immune to personal or professional setbacks. While their composure may be admired, this can come at a cost: it creates an emotional distance between the leader and those they lead and can ultimately hinder growth. Examples of this type of leader might include high-profile individuals who rarely admit mistakes, avoid acknowledging weaknesses, or rely on their image of confidence to shield themselves from criticism. In doing so, they may inadvertently create barriers to connection, collaboration, and authentic leadership.
However, I believe that anyone—regardless of their position, accomplishments, or apparent resilience—can evolve from being a Teflon Leader into someone whose growth is marked by deep curiosity, emotional intelligence, and a connection with both the world and their inner self. It’s not an easy process, nor is it a quick one, but it’s entirely achievable, and the rewards are boundless.
Here is why the most impactful leaders embrace vulnerability—and how you can do so yourself.
1. Acknowledge the need for change
The first step to growth, whether personal or professional, is often the hardest: acknowledging the need for change. For many of us, the traits that have served us well—self-sufficiency, stoicism, and the ability to shut out distractions—may also be the barriers preventing us from embracing the deeper, more transformative aspects of life. We often live by the motto “don’t let them see you sweat,” but what if, instead, we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable, open to feedback, and receptive to learning?
Being a Teflon Leader doesn’t just protect us from the negative; it creates a barrier to growth. To truly evolve, we must embrace discomfort, uncertainty, and even failure. Growth requires more than acknowledging change—it demands that we actively pursue it.
2. Cultivating curiosity
Curiosity is one of the most important traits that allows us to expand our understanding of the world. It helps us see possibilities and recognize the unknowns. For those who are used to being the ones with all the answers, admitting that we don’t know something—or that we might be wrong—can feel uncomfortable. Yet, it is through curiosity that we open ourselves to new ideas, people, and ways of thinking.
Curiosity isn’t about knowing everything or becoming a know-it-all; it’s about asking the right questions, seeking new experiences, and being open to what we don’t know. To nurture curiosity, I encourage you to read more broadly—not just industry-related books, but works on philosophy, history, and the arts. Conversations outside of business—about culture, technology, politics, or literature—should become a priority. Instead of seeing knowledge as a competition, begin to enjoy it as an expansive journey where learning is its own reward.
3. Embracing vulnerability as a path to growth
While curiosity opens the mind, vulnerability opens the heart. The teflon persona is often a defense mechanism against vulnerability—a way to protect oneself from emotional risks, be it criticism or failure. In business, it’s easy to equate vulnerability with weakness, but in life, it is the foundation of emotional growth.
For many, the concept of vulnerability requires unlearning. Opening up to feedback—whether from colleagues, clients, or friends—isn’t an attack on intelligence or abilities; it’s an opportunity to grow. Being vulnerable requires an inner strength that allows us to accept criticism with grace, use it constructively, and learn from it.
4. Build emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the key that unlocks both personal and professional growth. It’s not just about understanding others’ emotions, but also being attuned to one’s own. This awareness enables us to become better listeners, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively.
A shift toward greater emotional intelligence means learning to read between the lines, listening without an agenda, and connecting with people on a more human level. It means letting go of the need to always have an answer and instead asking thoughtful, open-ended questions. This increased sense of empathy leads to stronger connections, not just in the workplace but in our personal lives as well.
5. The role of self-reflection
True transformation requires the discipline of self-reflection. Over time, I encourage you to take moments of stillness—away from the noise of daily life—to ask yourself deeper questions: Who am I becoming? What do I really care about? Where am I limiting myself? These reflections aren’t about self-criticism but self-awareness and —making room for growth and self-compassion.
Self-reflection is the compass that guides us toward our truest selves. It’s a process that can be one of the most transformative aspects of your journey. It’s okay not to have all the answers immediately—growth is a process, not a destination. It’s about being present, attentive, and open to what life offers. As I always say, my three favorite words are “I do not know,” and the one word I cannot accept is “no.” We need to be relentless in seeking the right answers and persistent in delivering messaging that resonates with our audiences. We need to demonstrate that we can walk in the shoes of the other party.
Becoming a better leader is a lifelong journey
The final step is making growth a priority. Growth doesn’t happen by accident, nor does it come from waiting for the “right time.” We often become too comfortable with our routines, with the familiar, but growth happens when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zones. I journal and meditate daily because—it energizes me so I can live an “all-in” life. I challenge myself to focus on growth as an individual—and as part of a team—and how we can continue to improve as effective people, thoughtful leaders, and compassionate partners. This value of continuous evolution encourages each of us to keep growing.
No one is ever truly “done” growing. Moving from being a Teflon Leader to a more curious, learned, and emotionally intelligent person is a journey. It’s a lifelong process that requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to embrace change. But as we each continue to grow, we become better versions of ourselves—more connected to the world and to each other.
Becoming a learned, curious person isn’t about having all the answers or appearing perfect. It’s about embracing the unknown, being open to change, and committing to the lifelong pursuit of self-discovery and growth.
In doing so, we create a richer, more meaningful life—one that combines confidence, humility, gratitude, and impact.
That, ultimately, is what great leadership is all about.