My mom says I waited too long to have kids because she's now an older grandparent. It was the perfect time for me.
Courtesy of Melissa Noble
- My mom always wanted grandkids, but my siblings and I all had them later in our lives.
- Now that she's an older grandparent, she has less energy to play with her grandkids.
- I had my kids at the perfect time for me, and I have no regrets.
When my partner and I found out I was pregnant with our first child, I couldn't wait to tell my mom. After all, it was the news she had been wanting to hear for years.
My mom has always loved children, and as a mother of four herself, she had hoped that one of her kids would give her a grandchild to love sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, my siblings and I were all late to the parental party, and Mom had to wait a long time before it eventually happened.
My oldest sister was the first sibling to have a child at age 40. By then, Mom was 64 and still full of energy. She took on the role of 'Nana' with zest. However, my sister's family lives in South Africa, and I think Mom was dying for more grandchildren closer to home in Australia.
When I got pregnant, I knew life was about to change
Three years later, when I was 29, I unexpectedly got pregnant. I remember feeling overwhelmed at first and a little daunted about how much my life was about to change, but I also felt ready to settle down. I'd been with my partner for eight years at that point, and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so starting a family wasn't that much of a leap.
I was also happy about the fact that the baby was due just after my 30th birthday. I'd always wanted the focus of my 20s to be on my career and travel. I'd ticked both of those boxes — working as a news reporter at various points in my 20s and traveling the globe for three years satiating my travel bug. Looking back, I think I might have resented it later if I hadn't achieved those goals before having children.
Courtesy of Melissa Noble
My parents were so excited, and my mom flew down to help after I gave birth
Around the 12-week mark of my pregnancy, my parents flew down from the Gold Coast in Queensland to Melbourne, where my partner and I lived. I'd printed off a photo of myself as a toddler and written a note saying, "Version two: coming soon." Naturally, Mom was over the moon. "I can't believe my baby is having a baby," she said, hugging me tight.
When our son was born six months later, she was incredible. She flew down and stayed with my husband and me for seven weeks while we adjusted to parenthood. It was a special time and I'm so grateful for her support.
My parents are older grandparents, but I had kids at the right time for me
After the birth of our son, my other siblings ended up giving Mom more grandchildren — she now has seven in total. While she loves them all dearly, she struggles to keep up with them physically, especially the younger ones. She's now 76 and often says she wishes we hadn't waited to have kids so late because now she's an older grandparent.
Being an older grandparent means Mom doesn't have the energy she once had. She loves spending time with our kids and will happily read a book to our toddler or play chess with our nine-year-old son. But she can no longer leap around in the pool with them or hike up mountains with us, and at times, that does make me sad.
Everyone has a different idea of how they want their life to look, and for me, 30 was the right time to become a mother. Instead of focusing on the fact that my parents are getting older and the limitations their age places on them as grandparents, I'm trying to enjoy the time we do have together. The most important thing to me is to make memories that will sustain us for the long haul. We will cherish those forever.