Pitfalls of the Good Sociologist: Examining Gallup’s New US Professions Survey

Take it from a sociologist and journalist: sociology is a science that is not really a science, and journalism is a professional activity that does not have a specific professional activity. Sociologists and journalists share some vices, if we leave aside the brothels and the whiskey: they wrap any bad information in shiny wrapping paper, they try to keep their sources anonymous, and they plan their investigations by writing the conclusion before starting them, so as to be able to arrive in time for the game with friends.

One of the most prestigious sociological research companies, Gallup, periodically conducts a survey to find out which professions are the most trusted. This week they released the latest results and there are two immediate conclusions: in general, the trust of some professionals in others continues to fall, and amongst the 23 occupations mentioned in the list, coincidentally, neither sociologists nor pollsters appear.

The first conclusion is only to confirm that the survey was conducted among humans. The first thing that any professional learns when starting a job is, in this order, to despise all the other professions involved in said job, and then to despise each of his or her own colleagues. This is not a diabolical plan, it is just a process of natural human evolution, the same one that leads us to believe that we drive better than anyone we meet on the road (in my case it is true).

According to Gallup, the most trusted professionals are nurses. Not much of a surprise there. As a regular (much to my regret) visitor to hospitals in recent years, I’ve had the chance to deal with all kinds of people there, and even some animals. The cleaning ladies are lovely, but almost all of them are grandmothers now and talk too much; the guys who carry you around the hospital on stretchers are frustrated Formula 1 drivers and, more seriously, no one breathalyzes them.

The doctors who deal with things that are waist down are actually missionaries because they get you to refind your faith and pray like crazy that they don’t cut in the wrong place during your prostate operation. While the waist-up doctors don’t usually bring good news, they do love to cut you open and rummage around, usually near the heart or liver, and sometimes forget a cell phone or ashtray inside after closing. Finally, the hospital reception girls, in a mood similar to that of Wile E. Coyote in the Roadrunner, make you thank God that they’re behind the glass, in a place from which they can’t easily jump down your throat.

So, in healthcare, the reasonable thing to do is to love nurses. They come by your room, smile a little, are usually young and pretty, and all they do are little forays that don’t hurt too much. They change a drip, put in a thermometer, or make you swallow some pills. They don’t bring bad diagnoses either. It’s reasonable for Americans to trust nurses. In fact, most would like to marry one. I have proposed to several, almost always under the effects of some sort of anesthesia. They all accepted until I was discharged. Unfortunately, part of their job is to make you feel good, but they don’t usually make out with patients like in Céline’s sad posthumous novel.

Something similar happens with grade-school teachers, who are next on the list of highly ethical. All you will remember from that part of life is nice, there is more play than class, they are usually young, patient, and beautiful, and they have in general the most delicate task: taking care of the children, which is what parents want most. A few years later it will be the children who take care of the teachers, and that’s when their professional qualification goes down, but that’s another story.

Pharmacists and doctors are also among the most trusted institutions, although far behind nurses and teachers. The explanation is simple: Your life often depends on pharmacists and doctors liking you. It’s not a good idea to insult them anonymously in Gallup. Nowadays anything can be leaked.

At the bottom of the list, who would have guessed it, the least trusted professions are television reporters, congressmen, and lobbyists. So the three groups that have the most influence when it comes to managing the destinies and opinions of the nation — journalists, congressmen, and lobbyists — receive a total distrust score of 68 percent, an indifference score of 21 percent, and approval from only 4 percent, which obviously corresponds to the percentage of respondents who are journalists, congressmen or lobbyists.

Perhaps most relevant to this amusing survey is that, on average, trust ratings in the major professions have fallen from 43 percent to 30 percent in just over 20 years. The professions that have contributed the most to this plunge are doctors (thanks to pandemic nonsense), judges (thanks to you-know-who), cops (thanks to the Democrats’ efforts), and daycare providers (perhaps because storks in Paris are the only endangered species that environmentalists give a shit about).

On the contrary, the only profession that raises its average confidence rating, even if only by 2 percent, are state officeholders, and that’s because… there are too many of them. Make government small again and you’ll avoid statistical mirages!

READ MORE from Itxu Díaz:

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The Year the (Woke) Stupidity Bubble Burst

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