I went from a sexless marriage to 3,000 orgasms in a YEAR at 44 – I had foursomes & 11am quickies, here’s what I learned

ORGASMS are the issue on everyone’s lips, whether it’s Nicole Kidman’s saucy new film Baby Girl or the ever-present gap which means women still only climax during about half of their sexual encounters.

After years without any sex, author Rebecca Ferguson decided to take things into her own hands – and went onto have a mind-blowing 3,000 orgasms in one year.

Then aged 43, the Melbourne based sex and relationship coach achieved what some might find unbelievable – but it’s all tracked on sex data app Nice.

Here she tells Fabulous her incredible story…

DATA, it’s something we rely on for everything from tracking our fitness progress to budgeting our finances.

But for me, data took on an entirely new meaning — I used it to track my sex life.

After enduring two sexless years at the end of my marriage, I was on a mission to reclaim my pleasure and redefine my connection to intimacy with my new partner.

In 2019, three years after divorcing my husband, I met my current partner, who made me realise having more than one or two orgasms per session was a possibility.

We are monogamish and have occasionally had threesomes with another woman or foursomes with another couple.

As a self-proclaimed data nerd, I decided to approach my sex life the way others might approach a fitness regime: with measurable goals, thoughtful analysis, and a willingness to experiment.

Over the course of 2020, the year I celebrated my 44th birthday, I logged a staggering 3,000 orgasms over 409 sex sessions.

But what I gained was more than just numbers, it was a profound understanding of my body, my emotions, and my relationship.

Here’s how tracking my sex life became one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done — and how the lessons I learned could help you too.

Timing Is Everything

One of my earliest revelations was discovering my “pleasure window” — a time of day when my body seemed primed for pleasure.

Through meticulous tracking, I realised that late mornings, around 11am, consistently led to more frequent and intense orgasms.

This wasn’t just a hunch; my data confirmed it and knowing this transformed how I approached my day.

Instead of leaving intimacy to chance, I began to prioritise these moments alongside work and exercise.

While scheduling sex might sound unromantic, it actually added excitement.

Anticipating those golden hours made them feel special and intentional.

It wasn’t just about the act itself, it was about carving out time for joy and connection, which felt like the ultimate self-care.

Variety as a Catalyst for Pleasure

Another standout finding was the importance of variety.

Routine, while comforting, can sometimes dull the edges of excitement.

My data showed that trying something new — a different setting, a new technique, or an unfamiliar toy — often led to more intense and memorable experiences.

This insight encouraged my partner and me to embrace experimentation.

I started tracking my sexual episodes in September 2019.

We were a brand new couple so the newness fed into the pleasure of it all.

At first, my partner was amused by my analytical approach.

“Your app says tomorrow morning 11am is prime time?” he’d tease.

But as we incorporated these findings into our intimate life, we found ourselves laughing more, connecting deeply, and rekindling the kind of spark that often fades in long-term relationships.

I probably had many more than 3,000 orgasms in 2019 as we were a brand new couple.

Rebecca Ferguson

Our first Valentine’s Day together, my partner gave me 12 orgasms at his place.

Then when I got home there were 12 red roses waiting at my door, so I knew he was something special.

It was a surprise when I looked back at the data, I knew I had been orgasming a lot but I was surprised when I saw the total.

Whether it was a playful new idea or a simple shift in location, our experiments reminded us that intimacy isn’t just about physical connection — it’s about curiosity and creativity.

Imperfection Is Part of the Journey

Not every encounter was extraordinary, and that’s OK.

Some sessions were affected by stress, fatigue, or distraction, resulting in less satisfying experiences.

Initially, I felt disheartened, but over time, I realised these moments were just as important as the highlights.

By logging these less-than-perfect sessions, I began to see patterns emerge.

For example, sleepless nights or high-stress days often coincided with diminished pleasure.

This awareness helped me identify changes I needed to make in other areas of my life, like improving my sleep hygiene or setting better boundaries around work.

The real lesson? Intimacy doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

Accepting the ebbs and flows allowed me to approach my experiences with compassion rather than self-criticism.

Pleasure Is a Form of Self-Care

By the end of the year, I realised the greatest gift of this journey wasn’t the orgasms themselves — it was the self-awareness and empowerment I gained.

For so many of us, pleasure can feel secondary to life’s endless to-do lists.

But tracking my intimate life reminded me that joy isn’t frivolous; it’s essential.

It’s not just about physical satisfaction, it’s about nurturing a sense of connection, resilience, and gratitude for your body.

Rebecca Ferguson

Through this process, I learned to prioritise pleasure as a form of self-care.

Just as we schedule time for exercise or meditation, carving out space for intimacy — whether solo or with a partner — can be transformative.

It’s not just about physical satisfaction, it’s about nurturing a sense of connection, resilience, and gratitude for your body.

The Data Trap: A Word of Caution

During the course of the experiment, I had sex slightly more than once a day, with my longest break a week long.

While tracking my sex life was life-changing, it’s not without its pitfalls.

There were moments when I became overly focused on the numbers, worrying about whether each encounter would “measure up.”

It’s important to remember that pleasure isn’t a performance metric.

If you’re considering tracking your own experiences, approach it with curiosity rather than perfectionism.

The goal isn’t to hit a specific number, it’s to deepen your understanding of yourself and your relationship.

Why This Matters for You

You might not be ready to log every intimate moment, but the principles behind my journey are universal.

For women who can’t orgasm at all, I would advise medical and potentially psychological and/or sex therapy as there may be deep-seated issues that need to be dealt with.

For women who can orgasm but who, like me, thought that one or two a session was fine, my book invites them (and their partners) to expand their vision of what is possible.

I go into detail in the book regarding which techniques and mindsets helped me to reach such a total.

Whether it’s discovering your own “pleasure window,” embracing variety, or simply making time for connection, these small changes can have a big impact.

At its core, this journey wasn’t about achieving 3,000 orgasms.

It was about reclaiming agency over my body, exploring what brings me joy, and creating a stronger, more intimate connection with my partner.

These lessons are something anyone can apply to their own life.

And for women who can’t orgasm at all, I would advise seeking medical and potentially psychological help and/or sex therapy as there may be deep-seated issues.

A Final Thought

Tracking my sex life was an experiment in both science and sensuality.

It helped me prioritise pleasure, foster deeper connection, and better understand how my mind and body work together.

For me, it wasn’t just about sex — it was about living more intentionally and finding joy in every moment.

So, what would happen if you approached your intimate life with the same intentionality you bring to other areas of your life?

Whether it’s setting aside time for self-care, communicating more openly with your partner, or exploring what makes you feel good, the possibilities are endless.

And while 3,000 orgasms might not be your goal, the journey toward more joy and connection is worth every step.

You can read more about Rebecca’s transformative journey in her upcoming book 3,000 Orgasms: How I went from a Sexless Marriage to a Multi-Orgasmic Wonderland.

Follow her on Instagram, X, TikTok and Substack @3000orgasms or visit her website.