I found out my husband cheated on me with a girl he used to coach, he met her when she was just 11, I feel sick
BIRTHDAY parties often lead to old friends and colleagues coming together and leaving with a goodbye hug and a proclamation that ‘we should do this more often!’
However, it’s much rarer for them to end with extramarital affairs with old students, but that’s exactly where one man got himself.
Taking to social media, one wife revealed she was left feeling repulsed after her husband had sex with an old student of his.
She said that her husband had turned 50 between Christmas and New Year and they had thrown a big party to celebrate with old friends and new ones.
Those invited included one of his old sports students as she explained he was a sports coach for many years for a sport played individually but within a team.
She continued: “This particular girl became his protege per se, he would get up early to coach her in the morning when she was 10/11 but she moved away.
“He kept in touch, first with her parents then as she got older with her. I don’t know if she even does the sport anymore.
“Anyway, she was in our city for the new year and he had a party for his birthday the weekend before, he invited her and she came to the party.”
The party seemed to have gone well, and the next night he went out with another friend, or so he told his wife.
It turned out the student also came out with her husband which she discovered a few weeks later.
“Now he has been weird the last few weeks, quiet, not interested in sex etc. Last night he told me he had to tell me something and he told me that he met her at the pub, they got drunk, they went back to her hotel and had sex,” she claimed.
“I’m devastated, I wanted to ask so many questions about why etc. but I just cried. I asked if it only happened this once and he said yes.
“I feel ill, he knew her when she was 9-12, she is younger than one of our daughters!!!
“What do I do? Our marriage is over but how do I cope?!”
She later revealed on Mumsnet: “I’m devastated and shocked I had no idea this could happen. I didn’t even know he was still in touch with her more than birthday wishes.
“I truly don’t believe he is a pedophile but it makes me sick he would sleep with someone so young regardless.”
What is grooming and where to get help?
What is grooming?
According to the Metropolitan Police, “Grooming is when a person builds a relationship with a child, young person or an adult who’s at risk so they can abuse them and manipulate them into doing things.
“The abuse is usually sexual or financial, but it can also include other illegal acts.”
Types of grooming
Grooming can take place online or in person and it can happen over a short or long period of time – from days to years.
- Online and through social media
- In person
Signs of grooming
- Are they being secretive about how they’re spending their time?
- Do they have an older boyfriend or girlfriend?
- Do they have money or new things like clothes and mobile phones that they can’t or won’t explain?
- Are they drinking or taking drugs?
- Are they spending more or less time than usual online or on their devices?
- Do they seem upset or withdrawn?
- Are they using sexual language you wouldn’t expect them to know?
- Are they spending more time away from home or going missing for periods of time?
A person won’t know they’re being groomed, they will trust their abuser who is giving them lots of attention and gifts. Also, their groomer may have warned them not to talk to anyone about it.
How to get help and support
Grooming is an offence. If you suspect a person is being groomed, even if you’re not sure, please tell someone.
Is someone about to be attacked or hurt? Is a crime taking place right now? If yes, call 999 and ask for the police.
If it isn’t an emergency you can report grooming to the police on 101.
Charities and agencies:
One person wrote: “Yes, that’s revolting especially as he knew her as a little girl.”
Another commented: “Your husband is disgusting and gross. That would 100% mean the end of my marriage.”
“As a mother of a teenage, sporty daughter who has male coaches, this has made me feel sick,” penned a third.
Meanwhile a fourth said: “I think she was very possibly groomed by him. It isn’t a question of ‘what was she thinking’, more of ‘what had he done to her’. He’s a disgusting pervert.”
“Gross. Sounds like she’s been groomed. Absolutely yuck. If I was his daughter I wouldn’t want anything to do with him either,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “There is a massive power difference and your husband has abused his power.”
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