My mum wants to stay in the bridal suite WITH me & my new wife – she even said she’d sleep on the floor
A BRIDE has vented her frustration at her mother insisting she stays in the same room as the couple on the wedding night.
The upset woman said she had told her mum it was “inappropriate” for her to stay in the bridal suite, but she hadn’t backed down and even said she’d sleep on the floor.
In a post on Reddit, the 35-year-old bride said that she had initially planned to elope to Las Vegas with her fiancée, 41.
However, their families didn’t want to be left out of the celebrations, so the bride relented and paid for a micro-wedding with just 10 “special guests”.
Despite the wedding website clearly stating that guests would be “responsible for their own rooms, arrangements, flights”, her mum had not taken the hint.
She wrote: “We planned a week out in Vegas, the first few days being just for me and my future wife.
“However, my dear mother doesn’t want to fly out to Vegas just for a wedding. She’s never been to Vegas so she wants to make a whole trip of it.
“To me, this is not a family trip. Although my family will be there, it is a trip for me and my wife. It is our wedding, after all.”
The bride revealed how her 60-year-old single mum had broken the news that she was going to not only stay in the same accommodation but also in the same room.
She continued: “A few months ago, my mother suggested to stay with us in our hotel suite for the first few nights, the three of us.
“I shot that idea down pretty hard and explained there won’t be enough room. (It’s a wedding suite, so one King bed, one thin couch.)
“I was definitely surprised she had the wherewithal to even [ask].”
The bride said how she felt it would be “inappropriate” for her mum to stay, particularly on the wedding night when couples tend to get intimate.
The mum had then used the weather as an excuse to stay with them.
The bride added: “Weather has been bad for my family and my bride’s family in their respective cities.
“Last night my mother called to tell me she may not make it a few days before the wedding.
A few months ago, my mother suggested to stay with us in our hotel suite for the first few nights, the three of us
Reddit bride
“She’s thinking of cancelling her hotel room for those three days because she doesn’t want to lose her money.”
The mum had said: “So if I cancel my hotel room but end up going out that day anyway, can I stay with you in your room?”
When the bride had pointed out that the couch was too “thin” for sleeping, the mum had said she’d stay on the floor.
The soon-to-be-married woman told Reddit users: “I never thought my own mother would be so enmeshed with me that she would suggest to stay in my room with me. Why?
“I don’t even understand why you would want to stay with your daughter and her new wife in her wedding suite?
“I can’t believe I had to tell the woman who raised me, the woman who taught me manners and respect, I can’t believe I had to explain to her why she can’t stay in the room with me and my partner.
“I feel so guilty, probably because I’ve been told to feel guilty as a child, and I know I’m making the right decision.
“Never expected my own mother to be a monster-in-law.”
I never thought my own mother would be so enmeshed with me that she would suggest to stay in my room with me. Why?
Reddit bride
Unsurprisingly, many Reddit users were on the bride’s side.
One person said: “Sounds like you handled it correctly. Stick to your boundaries. Make sure there is a room available so she can’t pull any stunts. Congrats to both of you!”
A second added: “Is your mum trying to prevent you from having honeymoon ‘fun’, if you get my drift?”
A third commented: “She’s being really dense and inappropriate.”
Why it’s time to ditch wedding favours once and for all
By Josie Griffiths, Deputy Digital Fabulous Editor and bride-to-be
Josie Griffiths said: When was the last time you spotted something in a shop window or browsed past it online and thought “that would be the perfect gift for 120 of my closest friends, work colleagues, relatives and boyfriend’s mate’s partners I barely know”?
I’ll tell you when, never, because there is NO universal gift everyone is going to love – unless you want to bankrupt yourself buying Rolexes and Tiffany jewellery, and even then they wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste.
So why do brides still pile the stress (and expense) of wedding favours on top of everything else we have to organise?
I’ve been to dozens of weddings over the past five years so when I got engaged, I already had a mental list of dos and don’ts for my own big day, and ditching wedding favours was firmly on it.
The cost of buying an individual present for everyone coming is huge, meaning many couples try and keep it in the under-a-fiver category.
But the reality is no-one wants a cheap, ill-thought-out keepsake – they’d probably rather one more free drink from the bar.
It’s not only that, wedding handbags are notoriously small, with no room to stuff an unexpected gift in, and catering waiters have a bad habit of whisking away the wedding favours when they’re clearing the coffee mug off the tables.
I bet none of my guests will even notice the lack of random gift on their dining table.
If you really hate the idea of not buying something for your guests, charity donations are always a nice gesture.
But the last thing your friends and family need is more random tat cluttering up their homes – so it’s time to save them the guilt of binning your Etsy-bought keyring.