My wife slept with another man while on a break but found out she is pregnant – is it mine?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife admitted she slept with another man while we were on a break. We got back together when she found out she was pregnant.
The baby could be his or mine. I’m 42 and my wife is 38. We’ve been together for 12 years and have two daughters.
We recently went through a tough time with my wife telling me she needed some space.
Reluctantly, I agreed to move out, staying with a friend for almost four months. We kept in touch and saw each other regularly, sometimes having sex, which is why the baby could be mine.
I know the man she had sex with, and I wouldn’t have a problem raising the child if it turned out to be his.
What hurts me the most is that she’s having a boy. I love my girls dearly but I have secretly always wanted a son.
We are back together but I worry the only reason she took me back was because I am a better father figure than this other guy.
He is single but has never been a reliable father to his own two children – seeing them when it suits him.
I waver between staying for the sake of my kids and living apart to only seeing them at weekends.
I spent my childhood going between my parents after they divorced and I really don’t want that happening to my children.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: DNA testing will confirm for certain who the father is. If you decide to go ahead with this, then contact cellmark.co.uk (0800 036 253322) for confidential, conclusive paternity testing.
You’ve said you want to be a dad to this child no matter who the biological father is.
Your wife has chosen you not the other man but you may doubt she loves you for you – which is understandable as you came from a broken home.
Talk over your feelings with familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222), who understand the issues.
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