I’ve been married for 12 years but have feelings for my 22-year-old stepdaughter – I can’t stop thinking about her
A MAN has revealed that despite being married for the past 12 years, he has now developed feelings for his 22-year-old stepdaughter.
The anonymous stepfather explained that he feels like a ‘dirty old man’ as a result of his newfound infatuation and as a result, is unsure on what to do.
It comes after Metro’s latest Sex Column tackled the taboo and complicated issue – complex emotions in blended families.
The man shared that he tied the knot to a “wonderful woman” over a decade ago.
He then met his wife’s daughter, who was 10-years-old at the time and “didn’t like” him.
He confessed: “I tried hard to form a good relationship with her but she rejected all my overtures; maybe she felt I was taking her mum away, I don’t know.”
Although the youngster’s dad had walked out for someone else, he explained that she always idolised him, and when he and his wife decided to get married, she moved in with him full-time, which was “agony” for his partner.
As a result, he shared: “My relationship with my stepdaughter hasn’t changed much over the years, and although my wife meets up with her regularly, she rarely comes to the house.”
But things all changed when he ran into the 22-year-old in a local pub whilst out for a drink with his colleagues.
He added: “She came straight over and apologised for her behaviour, saying she knew I’d made her mum happy and asking if we could start again.”
Of course, he accepted, but now, what’s “tearing” him apart is that he “can’t stop thinking about her.”
He admitted: “She has blossomed into a beautiful young woman, and I’ve found myself having ‘romantic’ thoughts about her.”
The man explained that despite wishing they were closer for years, after she invited herself over for dinner in a bid to make up for lost time, he now doesn’t want her to come.
He shared: “I don’t come across as a ‘dirty old man’, but what can I do to get rid of these feelings and have a normal relationship with my stepdaughter?”
What your sexual fantasies say about you
By Emma Kenny, a TV presenter and psychologist
Raucous Role Play: If your partner enjoys dressing up for fun, it shows creativity and a desire to keep things exciting. However, it might signal that he struggles with responsibility.
Multi-Partner Fantasies: Craving variety doesn’t always mean he wants to cheat. However, it could indicate deeper feelings of unfulfillment.
Power & Control: A little dominance is normal, but if it’s always about control, it may hide insecurities.
Adventure: Men seeking thrills may push boundaries, so be sure your comfort zone is respected.
Passion: If he’s romantic, he’s emotionally tuned in—though occasionally avoiding tough conversations.
Flexibility: Openness to new experiences is great, but constant novelty-seeking could mean avoiding emotional connection.
Red Flag: If control is his ultimate fantasy, it may signal a deeper struggle with power dynamics.
Keen to advise the anonymous man, Laura Collins, Metro’s counsellor and columnist, got candid with her guidance.
She simply advised him to “get a grip”.
She has blossomed into a beautiful young woman, and I’ve found myself having ‘romantic’ thoughts about her
Anonymous man
Laura pointed out how “grossed out” his stepdaughter would be if she knew what he was thinking and urged him to take “extra effort” to keep a “barrier in place”.
The agony aunt also stressed: “The second you have an inappropriate thought about her, don’t just carry on fantasising; distract yourself by really focussing on something else, so those thoughts fade into the background.”
As well as this, Laura advised the reader to put himself in his wife’s shoes and make “extra effort” with his spouse, to remember why he fell in love with her in the first place.
Not only this, but she also urged him to look into support groups for stepfamilies to help with his worries.